Bwahahahaha

DisgustedOfMitcham2 says:
March 30, 2009 at 6:20 pm

The Ballard of the Second Home Secretary
(to be sung to the tune of “My Darling Clementine”)

Oh there was a lovely lady
Into Parliament she came,
She was clever and hard-working
Lovely Jacqui was her name.

She rose to a high position,
Such an admirable fate,
Got a job in the Home Office
As the Secretary of State.

When she stood at the dispatch box
All MPs were thrilled to bits,
Not from listening to her speeches
But from staring at her tits.

She worked hard to make us safer,
And to keep us in our place.
Taking DNA, ID cards
On a massive database.

But this work and all the travelling
Started driving her beserk
So she moved in with her sister
To be closer to her work.

Some said that she didn’t live there
Only stayed a night or two,
But it said so on her expenses
So of course it must be true.

But while she stayed with her sister
Working hard by day and night,
Dick, her husband, sorely missed her,
Just as any Dicky might.

Oh how tragic, oh how lonely
For our poor forgotten Dick,
So he took a box of tissues
And he watched an adult flick.

When the movie was all over
And our Dick had had his thrill,
Adult movies must be paid for,
So our Dick was sent the bill.

When the time had come to pay it
He was short a bob or two,
So he claimed it on expenses:
What a silly thing to do!

Oh the press found out about it
And our Jacqui saw with rage
That her husband’s adult habits
Were splashed over the front page.

There’s a moral to this story:
If you haven’t had a lay
And you’re watching smutty movies,
Don’t expect your wife to pay.