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It\’s the Joooooos!

I do hope all those who have been screaming about the coup in Honduras will at least have the good grace to be embarrassed by this:

TEGUCIGALPA — It\’s been 89 days since Manuel Zelaya was booted from power. He\’s sleeping on chairs, and he claims his throat is sore from toxic gases and \”Israeli mercenaries\’\’ are torturing him with high-frequency radiation.

\”We are being threatened with death,\’\’ he said in an interview with The Miami Herald, adding that mercenaries were likely to storm the embassy where he has been holed up since Monday and assassinate him.

\”I prefer to march on my feet than to live on my knees before a military dictatorship,\’\’ Zelaya said in a series of back-to-back interviews.

Zelaya was deposed at gunpoint on June 28 and slipped back into his country on Monday, just two days before he was scheduled to speak before the United Nations. He sought refuge at the Brazilian Embassy, where Zelaya said he is being subjected to toxic gases and radiation that alter his physical and mental state.

Witnesses said that for a short time Tuesday morning, soldiers used a device that looked like a large satellite dish to emit a loud shrill noise.

Honduran police spokesman Orlin Cerrato said he knew nothing of any radiation devices being used against the former president.

\”He says there are mercenaries against him? Using some kind of apparatus?\’\’ Cerrato said. “No, no, no, no. Sincerely: no. The only elements surrounding that embassy are police and military, and they have no such apparatus.\’\’

Police responded to reports of looting throughout the city Tuesday night. Civil disturbances subsided Wednesday afternoon, when a crush of people rushed grocery stores and gas stations in the capital.

Israeli government sources in Miami said they could not confirm the presence of any \”Israelis mercenaries\’\’ in Honduras.

Zelaya, 56, is at the embassy with his family and other supporters, without a change of clothes or toothpaste. The power and water were turned back on, and the U.N. brought in some food. Photos showed Zelaya, his trademark cowboy hat across his face, napping on a few chairs he had pushed together.

\”Look at the shape he\’s in — sleeping on chairs,\’\’ de facto President Roberto Micheletti told a local TV news station.

Micheletti took Zelaya\’s place after the military, executing a Supreme Court arrest warrant, burst into Zelaya\’s house and forced him into exile. The country\’s military, congress, Supreme Court and economic leaders have backed the ouster, arguing that Zelaya was bent on conducting an illegal plebiscite that they feared would ultimately lead to his reelection.

Does the Honduran Constitution include a clause getting rid of the President for being a Fruit Loop?

6 thoughts on “It\’s the Joooooos!”

  1. God how I wish I lived someplace near to this jerk. Think of the fun you could have, scaring the living daylights out of the daft bugger. All you have to do is take your vacuum cleaner out onto your balcony, and point the hose attachment at his window. He would think he was being ionised or something!

    Or maybe pay some local children to wander about in front of his building wearing colanders over their heads. He will see them and think “My God, I must need one of those”

    Another good trick would be to set off an old air-raid siren in the wee small hours of the morning.

  2. If the Eeeevil Zionists(!!!) were really serious, they’d be using their Death Star (they’ve put at least one up there, you know) to beam Barney the Dinosaur songs directly into his brain.

    He’s obviously gotten off pretty lightly…

  3. Is he genuinely trying to say that this enormous apparatus was set up and pointed into someone else’s embassy


    that no-one in that embassy had a camera of any form whatsoever


    that that embassy was entirely cut off from all communication links with the outside world?


    that no-one in the outside world noticed that the Brazilian embassy in Honduras was cut off at a time of quite high tension?


  4. Brian, follower of Deornoth

    Fortunately the constitution of the Honduras has provision for the removal of Presidents who attempt to subvert it, hence this individual’s rise to fame.

  5. Man! Between taking my rotation in the Barbados cave to control the world’s monetary supply, torturing the Honduran President, and stealing a square meter of West Bank sand from a Palestinian child, this Jew is kinda on the busy side, you know?

    I guess I have to blow off seeing my patients and running a psych hospital. Damn.

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