Gurgle, snort:

Create an independent working group to cap the spill and mitigate its repercussions. Obama needs to immediately gather the best and brightest scholars, scientists, and practitioners to engage this national-security emergency. People with ties to the oil industry need not apply.

All the people who have the slightest idea about how to cap an oil well have oil industry contacts. Because the only people who ever actually look at capping oil wells have oil industry contacts.

So, in order to cap an oil well we are to ban all those with the slightest clue about how to cap and oil well from capping said oil well.

Pure friggin\’ genius.

This idea comes to you from:

Jules Boykoff is a former professional soccer player who represented the US Olympic team in international competition.

Do you think Peter Crouch or Wayne Rooney would be able to give us that all important British perspective on this?


  1. Hey, don’t mock, Tim! James Cameron is in a bit of a tizz after being rejected, given his kind offer to assist with all his valuable knowledge of…umm…it’ll come to me, I’m sure.

  2. Well if it was down to me I would strike a match down there and burn the oil off. That is as good a solution as you will get from anyone who has not the remotest connection to the oil industry. I bet some BP executive who reads this will think why they did not think of that.

  3. watch the pix of those guys, working ONE MILE under water to fix the thing…are these guys not trying their butts off! get Obama to spend an hour that deep and then pass criticism….sorry…that would mean Obama doing something rather than just reading text-books and assigning blame.

  4. So Much For Subtlety

    I love how Obama’s response was to sit around for weeks doing nothing and then send in the lawyers.

    Yes, that is going to motivate people.

  5. In fairness Obama did get some outside expertise on how to deal with the spill…… before sacking one of the scientists for having controversial views on homosexuality.

    The outrage over the politicisation of science was somewhat muted.

  6. I read in a book (and remember I have no connection with the oil industry whatsoever) that Lavender oil mixes with crude oil and causes it to form a solid material which will sink to the sea bed. Problem No1 solved!.

    Problem No2 would seem to be obtaining hundreds of thousands of gallons of Lavender oil.

    Perhaps Lord Mandelson could help?

  7. Pingback: How to Cap an Oil Well « 38 South

  8. I remember arguing with some lefties on some forum about the energy industry, and particularly the operating practices of big oil companies. My input was rejected on the basis that I worked in the oil business. Obviously drum-circle hippies had more experience in implementing oil company procedures.

  9. Also, this:

    The firm deploys the environmentally dodgy dispersant Corexit and locals voice concern over its toxicity.

    This was the industry standard and on the EPA approved list for 20 years, and the only dispersant available in required quantities. A few days into the spill, some politician makes a name for himself by banning it due to unsubstantiated claims it is excessively harmful. 20 years this was on the EPA’s approved list, and they decide to ban it three days into the biggest spill in history. Government at work, folks.

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