No, no, we can do worse than this

A couple of years ago I got a short-lived, but reasonably lucrative gig writing jokes for a mobile phone company. I know this sounds amazingly glamorous, but in reality meant a lot of staring out of windows, eating biscuits and creating puns so bad they physically hurt to put into words on the screen.

The constraints were simple, the joke had to be of twitter-esque length in characters (a bit less, actually), and not be too rude. Sounds easy eh? It wasn’t. Mostly it was making up horrible puns, or tweaking old jokes into a usable format. I soon realised however that they weren’t interested in quality, they wanted groaners.

He has a list of those they did in fact take.

So, can we do worse than that list?

And if we can, who do we sell them to?

4 thoughts on “No, no, we can do worse than this”

  1. “I like to win at cards, which is why I only play Snap with stutterers.”

    I laughed out loud at that one. Not worth 50p, but worth the effort of clicking on the link.

    Those jokes weren’t half bad. Way better than the average cracker joke.

  2. I saw this one on that page:
    ‘A necrophiliac was caught trying to dispose of the evidence to passing strangers. It was a dead giveaway.’

    Which reminded me of one of my favourite ones, which I suspect is too rude for the purposes stated.

    I used to be a necrophiliac until some rotten ***t split on me.

    I more acceptable one is:
    I am into sadism, necrophilia and bestiality. Am I flogging a dead horse?

  3. My personal favourite, not on this list and never intended to actually be a joke, was the mobile phone company that entered the N.Ireland market with the slogan “The Future’s Bright, the Future’s Orange.”

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