Has the apocalypse happened yet?

No.

Use this page as a handy check as to whether the Rapture, the giant earthquake which will sweep believers into heaven, has happened as yet on 21 May 2011.

If the page is still here, no it hasn\’t.

7 thoughts on “Has the apocalypse happened yet?”

  1. You’re assuming that you will be taken up in the rapture.

    Tim adds: No, quite the opposite, that I won’t be and can thus change the page.

  2. Well, if it does happen it looks like God likes a lie-in at the weekend. I feel better already…

  3. Best advert I saw was for a pet-minding service run by adulterers, who (for an advance subscription) would look after your cats after you were taken up by the rapture.

  4. Just after I read this, your blog went offline for the rest of the day. Have you been raptured?

  5. Richard, you have just mentioned something very significant there.
    I don’t want to get swept up by the rapture, if I can’t take my cats with me. So I’m committing as many sins as I can (at short notice), to make sure I get left behind. But the trouble is, it’s just not that easy to commit grievous sins in Northumberland on a Saturday night. My neighbours are similarly stumped for ideas, being in no hurry to go to heaven either. You only have to look at us to understand why wife swapping is a non-starter. We are down to the following:
    1. Saying rude words
    2. Throwing garden waste in the blue bins.
    3. Getting rat-arsed
    4. Conspiring to murder someone.

    So far, only 3 seems to be working. But if you don’t hear from me again, either the rapture happened, or I’ve been murdered….

  6. I thought that being in Northumberland on a Saturday night was a grievous sin all by itself.

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