So we get this description of Ms. Trimingham:
All changed when Vicky learned that her husband was having an affair with Carina Trimingham, his sometime press aide and a Doc-Martens-wearing former lesbian. Oh, Chris, Chris. Hell is a rather cosy, cheerful place compared to the wrath of a wife whose man runs off with a bisexual woman twice her size. Plus the unfortunate Ms Trimingham looks like the love child of Tommy Cooper and Bernard Bresslaw.
More than a tad ungallant, eh? And certainly more wounding than all that frothing about Pippa Middleton having a gawkable derriere.
This comes of course from the fragrant Allison Pearson.
The effects of gravity upon the porky are such a bitch.