I would laugh but…..

It may not rank as the most compelling reason to curb greenhouse gases, but reducing our emissions might just save humanity from a pre-emptive alien attack, scientists claim.

Watching from afar, extraterrestrial beings might view changes in Earth\’s atmosphere as symptomatic of a civilisation growing out of control – and take drastic action to keep us from becoming a more serious threat, the researchers explain.

The problem is that some idiots will take this seriously.

Try the logic for a moment: assume those aleins who can see what\’s going on. So, we\’re about to boil the planet with our emissions because ew don\’t give a long term shite, yes?

We\’re a problem to whom? We\’re all going to be dead soon aren\’t we?

26 thoughts on “I would laugh but…..”

  1. Reminds me of Carl Sagan’s concern that aliens picking up echoes of TV broadcasts from Earth might watch war movies and conclude we were all barbarous savages.

  2. If these aliens are monitoring us, then the amount of electronic junk we send out if a far more likely thing to be monitored, or even the number of orbiting satellites.

    Seems the warmists have joined David Icke in Reptileland … or were they already there from the start ?

    ALan Douglas

  3. …..might watch war movies and conclude we were all barbarous savages…..

    So they wouldn’t attack us. Seems like a good strategy.

    If they were coming from a cold planet, global warming could put them off.

  4. But if they come from a warm planet then they might be waiting for us to make it warm enough to make it worthwhile to attack.

    Seriously this is crazy.

  5. Agreeing with Alan D, there must be very many easier ways of spotting our presence than relying on detecting an increase in the proportion of CO2 in the atmosphere from 0.039% to say 0.075%.

    Me, I blame the Great Wall of China…

  6. View from the Solent

    The Daily Mash have announced that they are closing.
    “We cannot compete against the professionals”, Professor Henry Brubaker of the Institute for Studies announced.

  7. You know it is the end when they can say things like this with a straight face.

    Lets just hope its AGWs Jumping the shark moment : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jumping_the_shark

    Jumping the shark is an idiom, first employed to describe a moment in the evolution of a television show when it begins a decline in quality that is beyond recovery.

    In its initial usage, it referred to the point in a television program’s history where it has “outlived its freshness” [1] where viewers feel “the writers have run out of ideas” and that “the series has [lost] what made it attractive.”[2] These changes were often the result of efforts to revive interest in a show whose audience had begun to decline.[3]

    The usage of “jump the shark” has subsequently broadened beyond television, indicating the moment in its evolution when a brand, design, or creative effort moves beyond the essential qualities that initially defined its success, beyond relevance or recovery.
    [edit]

  8. Clearly someone has already seen the planning permission for the Vogons to begin building their insterstellar superhighway.

  9. The whole argument is so shot through with illogicality, it actually boggles the mind. It certainly makes one question the so-called scientific qualifications of the authors.

    To start with, if those aliens have reached the point where they can actually see what we’re up to and be able to wreak planet destroying havoc upon us, they too will have gone through a similar process from amaeoba to modern thinking beings. Presumably this developmental process included the very industrialisation that is allegedly killing us and our home. And hence their natural inclination would be to smile benignly on the funny earth monkeys stumbling along in their footsteps.

    Next, if these little green men really do sing Kumbayah and love Mother Gaia, surely their first instinct would be to offer advice and assistance, not mega death. If they aren’t then we’re probably phuqued whatever we do.

    Personally I suspect this fine example of academic thought does nothing but reveal the depth of the hatred some Greenies actually have towards their own species.

  10. @SadButMadLad – I would have said it’s more akin to the Emperor’s new clothes, it never had a high point to begin with.

  11. Sounds like Professor Denzil Dexter and his pals at the University of Southern California have taken a little too much wacky baccy, watched “The Day The Earth Stood Still”, and thought it was a news report.

  12. I am way more sympathetic than most of you to the basic idea that we should worry, a little bit, about What If Aliens Come.

    There IS a great big universe out there.

    Faster than light travel is almost certainly impossible, yes, but machines don’t mind spending half a million years in transit. Scarier yet, Von Neumann machines that build copies of themselves could spread across the galaxy in a few tens of thousand years – a blink of the eye. These machines could be tiny, the size of bacteria or viruses.

    Here’s a cheerful thought: the earth, including as an afterthought the biosphere, could be dismantled and incorporated in a new tide of nano-machines obeying a program written by creatures long dead who would never even know we existed.

    What is wrong with the NASA speculations is not that they speculate at all but that they are so lacking in imagination and so fixated on making trivial points to do with current preoccupations. Compared with the fact that our electromagnetic emissions are moving outwards in a sphere whose diameter is increasing at the speed of light, worrying about teeny changes in the atmosphere.

  13. … and the diameter is increasing at *twice* the speed of light.

    Aliens are going to exterminate me because my grammatical and mathematical errors offend against the cosmic order.

  14. SimonF: thank you for that lesson in the minutiae of Internet sub-culture. “Jumping the shark”, eh? Whatever next?

    You know what would be fun? If someone were to come up with something where you could put humorous captions on pictures of cats.

  15. A little harsh, David Gillies – it can easily happen that what is old hat to one person is new and needful of explanation to another. I am constantly surprised by how much difference there is between my husband’s perception of ‘what everybody knows’ and mine – and we live together and both spend a lot of time on the internet.

    Similarly, only last night I had to explain to my visiting brother a joke based on those very pictures of cats with humorous captions that you mention. He works in computers, at the forefront of his specialism, but he had only just-about heard of this here Lolcats thing and (shockingly) knew nothing of Ceiling Cat.

  16. I have discovered a video game with amusing, badly translated cut scenes in it; at one point one of the characters says, “All your base are belong to us”. It’s very funny. I’m hoping it can be popularised on the internet.

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