Green tomato marmalade
Add chopped crystallised ginger to this if you like, though it\’s good just as it is. Makes about four 450g jars.
1.5kg green tomatoes, cored and cut into 5mm dice
1.7kg granulated sugar
Erm, no, sorry, but I\’m afraid that\’s not allowed. Here.
\”Marmalade\” is a mixture, brought to a suitable gelled consistency, of water, sugars and one or more of the following products obtained from citrus fruit: pulp, purée, juice, aqueous extracts and peel.
The quantity of citrus fruit used in the manufacture of 1000 g of finished product must not be less than 200 g of which at least 75 g must be obtained from the endocarp.
Not enough lemons there for you to use the word \”marmalade\”.
Pumpkin and ginger jam
\”Jam\” is a mixture, brought to a suitable gelled consistency, of sugars, the pulp and/or purée of one or more kinds of fruit and water.
A pumpkin is a squash, not a fruit. You may not use the word \”jam\”.
Courgette and lemon jam
Ditto, courgette a vegetable, not a fruit. Verboeten.
Now, these absolutely essential and terribly important consumer protection laws (just think of the mass poisonings that would occur if people really could sell courgette jam!) are brought to us by the European Union. I too see that such laws are quite vital to stopping German invading France. Again.
They apply only, of course, to offering for sale such products, not to what you might make in your own kitchen. For your own consumption.
However, as we all know harvest festivals are coming and the sale of the odd jar of homemade stuff does happen, money going off to charity perhaps. And recipes for such will be culled from newspapers: this is the very reason they run this article at this time of year. And finally, English law contains equal sentences for conspiracy to commit and act and incitement to commit an act: equal to actually committing that act.
Hugh Fearnly Whittingstall must therefore be prosecuted, with the full vigour of the law, for incitement to breach the Jams, jellies, marmalades and sweet chestnut puree regulations. That\’s a 6 month spell in pokey and a £5,000 fine please.
No, I\’m sorry, no mitigation is possible. We\’ve got to stop those panzers rolling somehow.