Alcopal pills

This looks like a nice and profitable piece of woo.

Campaigners are calling for pills which allow drivers to drink five pints of beer and still pass a breathalyser test to be banned after a businessman began selling them in the UK.

Arthur Kibble, 64, boasts the \’Alcopal\’ capsules allow motorists to drink until they are over the limit, yet still give a breath test which is nine times lower than it should be.

The claim is that the pills (all natural! Quite possibly organic and vegan too!) stop alcohol absorption through the stomach wall. Which, if true, would delay booze in the stomach from getting into the blood stream and thus would work.

However, it would only delay (I know very little biology but I am certain that as the alcohol gets further down the gut it will just be absorbed there even if they do work), not prevent.

A couple of things occur: firstly, if they\’re all natural then why did a pharmaceutical firm develop them?

More importantly, anyone at all can drink five pints and then drive safely and soberly. For alcohol takes time to get into the bloodstream. Neck five pints and drive for 10 minutes and you\’ll still be under the limit. Drink 5 pints over 2 hours and you won\’t be. I have a very strong feeling indeed that that is the effect which is being exploited.

15 thoughts on “Alcopal pills”

  1. If you could drink 5 pints without the alcohol entering the bloodstream you would still be stone cold sober. What, exactly, is the benefit of downing 5 pints in such circumstances?

  2. Perhaps not woo:

    “She has reportedly been in seven serious road accidents (and possibly dozens of minor ones), the most recent of which was this weekend. This time, Ms. Xu, her short shorts, and the highest heels on Earth survived a fourth rollover accident unscathed. Yes, you read that right, she has had four rollovers in four years. Yikes.

    “She even passed the breathalyzer test, so we can’t even excuse her by saying she’s an alcoholic.”

  3. Simethicone is the secret ingredient here, it acts as an anti foaming agent, im guessing that by reducing the surface area of alcohol foam in the intestines it also reduces the rate of absorption. Because it slows absorption rate it would be possible to have, say, 3 pints then drive home and pass every test on the way as it doesn’t mask the alcohol but reduces its presence in the blood stream entirely.

  4. More importantly, anyone at all can drink five pints and then drive safely and soberly.

    You obviously never met my ex Tim. Half a glass of champagne at Christmas and I had to hold her upright on the way to the table for lunch 20 minutes later. Of course she was driving me home. Her 0.01% and pissed was legal, my 0.1% and looking like you hadn’t touched it wasn’t.

  5. If this stuff slows/reduces the absorbtion of alcohol into the bloodstream, it ipso facto slows/reduces the effects of that absorption.

    In other words, it means you’re less pissed. Do you think possible, at this late stage, to get the message through to the Cassandras that it might be a good idea for people to be driving round with less alcohol in their blood and, therefore, brains?

    Neither do I.

  6. Pingback: An Alcopal Update | Diary Of An ADI

  7. Nautical Nick thinks you can legally drive after having drunk 5 pints! Its 5 UNITS you clot!!! (Thats 2 1/2 pints) 1 unit= 1/2 pint of weak / medium strength beer or a standard pub measure of other drinks therefore after 5 x 1/2 pints you will be probably on or over the limit.

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