Advice to the prostitutes of Belo Horizonte

Prostitutes in the Brazilian city of Belo Horizonte are signing up in droves for free language classes in order to be ready for a barrage of foreign visitors to the tropical country during the 2014 soccer World Cup.

Learn Japanese.

Dunno what custom will be like but the gossip from an aquaintance who worked as a receptionist in a brothel in Oz is that the Japanese pay well, and have a shower and change their jockeys before they come out for a paid shag.

Not hugely important of course but shows a politesse that men of most other nations don\’t manage.

15 thoughts on “Advice to the prostitutes of Belo Horizonte”

  1. I have it on *very* good authority that whilst the Japanese men pay very well, they can also be a bit fucked up. Quite often they turn up with various toys which, giggling like children, they insist are used during the subsequent action. Asking to be pissed on is not uncommon. And some of them can be very cruel, more so than western men, sometimes wanting to inflict cigarette burns and other nasty stuff.

    Having been to Japan and scootled around their sex shops, I am of the belief that all is not well in the darker corners of Japanese society, regardless of how honourable and polite they are in public.

  2. So Much for Subtlety

    Tim Newman – “I have it on *very* good authority that whilst the Japanese men pay very well, they can also be a bit fucked up.”

    I am not sure British men ought to be too quick to condemn here. After all, we probably put a video music clip of people getting pissed over in prime time well before any other European country did.

    But on the plus side, one advantage we have over the Japanese, is that if we bring a live octopus it is probably a pet. Not a sex partner. Or lunch. Or a sex partner and then lunch.

  3. Curiously enough, know a puta comes from Belo Horizonte. Wonder if the Telegraph would fund research…….

  4. I used to live in a condo called Belo Horizonte*, in the Bello Horizonte district in CR. Damn sure no hookers lived there, unless they were of the very highly compensated poule de luxe variety.

    * Portuguese spelling vs. Spanish

  5. Why are you so obsessed with sex, Tim?

    Sex and gays. And tits.

    Look at all your friends that have tit sex gay opinions.

    Maybe “‘brown’ no-such-thing-as-poor tits sex gay feminist murphy” should be your blog title?

    That’s how it reads.

  6. Sorry to be a wet blanket on all that delightfully scurrilous speculation, but do the Japanese even do football to the extent of attending world cups ?

  7. “Do Japanese even do football…….”

    Yes they do.

    “After the final game finished 2–2 after extra time, Japan beat the United States 3–1 in a penalty shootout, becoming the first Asian team to win the FIFA Women’s World Cup.”


    And the ladeez are a lot easier on the eye than the tattooed oafs playing the men’s game.

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