I absolutely do not understand these fucking computers

OK, so, to avoid me going blind on this tiny screen on this netbook while I\’m up here for a few months I\’ve bought a 20 something inch monitor for what, 150 quid. 100 maybe.

So, I\’ve got it connected to the netbook. I\’ve got two screens running. They\’re showing exactly the same stuff.

I thought you could have two screens on Windows now?

But that\’s the least of it.

The screen resolution on this notebook screen seems to have declined for fucks sake. Which isn\’t the point at all.

And the new screen. Every 30 seconds it insists on running a banner (first time at the top of the screen, second at the bottom, third at the top etc) Telling me that is\’ got Full HD, DVB, HDMI etc. How in buggery do I get rig of that?

All I want to be able to do is run two computer screens off this little netebook. Samsung something or other.

And I thought these thigs were supposed to be cunting plug and play now?

29 thoughts on “I absolutely do not understand these fucking computers”

  1. Most of them will have a screens option logo on one of the buttons along the top of the keyboard. Will look like an open laptop a vertical line and then a rectangle.

    Press it or hold down function and press it and should pop up a window to let you disconnect from the other screen, replicate your current screen on both, extend your screen so you effectively have two, or connect to a projector/ other screen,

  2. Sounds like you’re cloning the display rather than using an extended display.

    Assuming it’s windows 7, go on the desktop, right click and select “output to” or maybe personalise. There should be options to create and extended display and the resolution issue will resolve itself. Whichever option it is will be on the bottom of the list (I’ve seen both types before).

    OK, tried that, absolutely nothing that allows “extended anything”.

    There’s an Intel program that pops up asking if I want to “output” to monitor. Which turns off the netbook display. Or vice versa. Or I can clone it. Which dsoesn’t allow the higher res on hte monitor.

  3. The screen is probably in some shop demo mode. Find the menu button the new screen and the other buttons will allow you to scroll through/select/exit the menu. Try and find a factory reset option.

    Tim adds: OK, thank you, that seems to work. “Demo” was on. Now it’s off.

    But I still can’t see how to get higher res on hte screen that will support higher res. And I most certainly can’t get two screens operating, which is what I actually want. Only two versions of the same stuff.

  4. On Windows 7, under the Display part of Control Panel, there should be a select box next to ‘Multiple Displays’ and one of the options is ‘Extend these displays’.

    I use this in work to have two separate monitors. Yours may currently be set to ‘Duplicate these displays’?

    Note, this is on a desktop. I don’t know if Notebooks/laptops are different.

  5. Tim said: “The screen resolution on this notebook screen seems to have declined for fucks sake. Which isn’t the point at all.”

    The notebook has probably lowered the resolution on its own screen to have enough graphics processing power to run the external display as well. Or at least, defaulted to some low quality settings until you pick some higher ones.

    Here are some generic Samsung instructions for Windows 7 users.

    Some more instructions for Samsung users but I’m not sure what operating system they relate to.

    For switching between display types (lcd screen only, external monitor only, clone, dual view) try pressing Fn and F4 if you have it.

  6. Its the same with laptops, Rob. And you can get to Screen Resolution by right clicking on your desktop, Tim. You can set the Multiple Displays to Extend these displays there, as Rob says.

    If you are still having problems, Advanced settings in Screen Resolution will have a Graphics Properties tab where you can use a wizard to set the monitor configuration up.

  7. the answer is to acquire a 5 year old kid. I guarantee that within 5 minutes you will be pimping My little Pony in high def graphics!

    Tim adds: You may well be right. Breeding is the solution.

  8. It might simply be that your net book simply doesn’t have the graphics power to drive two screens at a reasonable resolution.

    I would echo the comment about getting a Mac, but I’m sure it’d fall on deaf ears… 😉

    DK

  9. Windows 7 Starter edition (the version on netbooks) does not support the extension of desktops onto multiple displays. Microsoft have deliberately crippled it in order to prevent people installing it on more expensive machines and therefore paying Microsoft less. You can duplicate the display (which is going to cause the sorts of problems that have occurred if the two screen have different resolutions), or you can use the built in or external displays at native resolution (but not both at the same time).

    Fixing this requires you to pay Microsoft more money for an “upgrade” to a more expensive version of Windows 7. Alternately you could install Linux. Or even install Windows XP.

    Or you could scream a lengthy stream of obscenities at Bill Gates and Steve Balmer. It won’t solve the problem, but it might make you feel better.

    Tim [email protected] Ah. Not the answer I wanted to hear but it is a complete answer. Thank you.

  10. My Samsung Netbook helpguide (look in Start>Programs>Samsung) Suggests FunctionKey(Blue) +F4. Says there’s ‘Dual View’ “to view over 2 devices for wider screen”.
    This is Samsung ‘ware so should be independent of Windows versions. Yours running XP? The processor/memory on the Netbook isn’t really adequate for W7. I run XP in W2000 emulation to cut down on overheads anyway.

  11. It’s not really about whether you have Windows XP, 7 or 8. It’s mostly about the graphics adapter in your laptop. If you have the tiniest and cheapest of laptops, the graphics chip isn’t very powerful and doesn’t have too many options.

    Regarding the OS, by the way, at least here there is an ongoing offer that enables to upgrade *any* Windows (XP or newer) to Windows 8, for 29.99 €. That’s a reasonable price, and I’ve upgraded several machines for friends and relatives. Generally a good experience, although the silly start screen does get people confused. But applications work well, and often much faster than e.g. with Vista.

  12. PaulB

    Ahahaha! Nice one. 🙂 Yes Tim, get a Mac. I’ve got several. And I know about computers. Windows is a pile of wombats’ kidneys. Finder is shit hot and safari doesn’t crash a lot. So there.

    Cheers,
    Fatty

  13. “And I thought these thigs were supposed to be cunting plug and play now?”

    Perhaps try sometime when not drunk?

  14. “Get a mac”

    Yes, you could get a Mac. The “Samsung something or other” netbook would cost you about £225 today. The closest Mac equivalent is the splendid MacBook Air at about £725. But then £725 would also buy you a proper Windows based laptop (from a whole competing range) that wouldn’t suffer the limitations you are enduring.

    So another way of putting it is – get something that is much better and thus costs more (you skinflint bastard).

    The closest Apple equivalent to the netbook is the splendid iPad. This has a small screen that can be duplicated on a larger screen…

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