Timmy in Czech

Cuisine again.

The Wurstellkraut was, umm, interestingish. Not sufficiently so that I would buy it again over regular kraut. But, you know, try the local stuff and see what happens, right?

I do enjoy the way that German supermarkets have the spices, the hot stuff, on a separate little shelf well away from any of the other food. Might infect it I assume.

HP sauce hasn\’t made it here yet. Yah Boo Sucks! Nor Marmite, a great tragedy.

And on my shopping list is only to buy the boil in the bag rice from Tesco. For it\’s the only brand which gives me cooking instructions in English.

That I need instructions on how to cook boil in the bag rice tells you something about how long it has been since I was a bachelor. Or, perhaps, what I was like when I was one.

23 thoughts on “Timmy in Czech”

  1. what a bland example of a complete failure in education.

    With people like you inspiring some sort of thinking (hah!), what hope does anyone have?

    An expat chancer that needs instructions to boil an egg, in his primary language; or worse, depreciates himself to make his mates say nice things on a blog, is surely me ‘playing the man’, but then that’s what this comment thing is, isn’t it?

    But then this all that happens here.

    Shit peddling

  2. Philip Scott Thomas

    Hey, Arnald –

    Have you ever bought a peeled sheep’s head, with eyeballs intact, from a Halal butcher? Have you boiled it up, with aromatics, and pressed it to make brawn?

    If you have then get in touch and let’s trade recipes.

    But if you haven’t then shut the fuck up. You’ve no business lecturing anyone about their food habits.

  3. Perfect rice:

    Put rice in saucepan.
    Put cold water in saucepan until it’s at the level of the rice.
    Add more cold water until it’s up to your first knuckle, with your fingertip touching the top of the rice.
    Bring to the boil uncovered.
    Turn right down.
    Cover and leave covered for 14 minutes.

  4. Philip Scott Thomas

    Matthew L –

    Yes, indeed. That’s the classic Chinese absorbtion method for cooking rice.

    It’s my go-to method for fool-proof rice.

    It’s damn near idiot-proof.

  5. So Much for Subtlety

    I agree with everything people have said about rice cooking here – and in the Czech Republic I would wash it too. But that all sounds a little complex.

    1. Take a pot with a lid. Add some measured amount of rice.

    2. Add exactly twice as much water.

    3. Bring to boil. Turn heat down. Keep the lid on and keep just warm for quarter of an hour.

    Never fails.

    However there is a simpler solution if you’re in foreign for a while – no nice young women in the Czech Republic? First you take them to dinner all the time, then they come back to your place and cook for you. It usually works.

  6. Why cook at all, Tim?
    A few slices of horse sausage, a bit of bread and a couple of those radioactively enhanced giant gherkins they only seem to grow behind the Iron Curtain, and you have a balanced meal. (Beer fruit and yoghurt for vitamins optional.)

  7. This is extraordinary. Can almost agree with Arnald.
    What is it about a certain class of British male? (Come to think of it, your women aren’t much better)
    Look it’s food. You cook it. Neanderthals could hack that.

  8. a couple of those radioactively enhanced giant gherkins they only seem to grow behind the Iron Curtain

    My wife can quite happily sit on the sofa with huge jar of those on her lap, and finish them off in one sitting. It’s definitely a “behind the Iron Curtain” thing.

  9. REWE. National supermarket chain (Waitrose type). Three kinds of HP Sauce.
    Although that in itself is some sort of crime against nature. There is only one real HP Sauce.

  10. Oops. Germany. You need to border-hop.

    Tim adds: Yup. Looked it up: we’ve got Penny Market here, and Billa, both owned by the same firm. But no REWE. And I do border hop, half the work is on the other side. But I can’t recall having seen one in E Germany either.

    Ah, actually, no, there was one in Freiberg. But v. small.

  11. Rice

    If you have microwave at least 650W

    2 portions

    125g rice + 200ml cold water in 1litre capacity plastic or glass bowl at least about 15cm deep, cover with cling film with a few holes pricked in it or a lid with a vent hole.

    Cook FULL power for 3mins, then 10mins on HALF power.

    Leave covered for one minute, then fluff with fork and serve.

    4 portions

    250g rice + 400ml cold water.

    Cook on FULL for 5 minutes, then HALF for 12-15mins. Stand a minute.

    This always works and is cheaper than boil in a bag.

  12. No-one has mentioned putting a teaspoon of salt in the rice.

    If you don’t then when you come to eat you will wonder why you bothered.

  13. Sorry, but the comparison of REWE to Waitrose has me in stitches. I suppose it’s a long time since I had a good look around a Waitrose but they must have gone downhill. A long way downhill.

    Tim, be thankful you can find herbs, spices and stuff. The sole flavouring used in a lot of stuff is salt.

    You can get good food here, but you have to look for it, and pay enormous amounts of money for it. If you eat out of German supermarkets you will be compromising on something, with the exception of price. German hausfrau in a supermarket is like the Yorkshirewoman without the generosity, and so on. Sorry if that makes me sound like a food snob, but I am one.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *