And the courage of a newspaper to print such joyous prose:
“There are some ideas so absurd,” said George Orwell, “that only an intellectual could believe them.” There are other ideas, even absurderer, that only The Conversation could deem worthy of public discourse.
The Convo, a sort of undergrad Onan the Barbarian’s soggy biscuit circle taken to its natural, digital conclusion, reached new heights of frantic monkey spanking last week with an otherwise po-faced suggestion that all Australian drinkers be issued with an ID card that would track their grog purchases.
Mmm, Orwellian. But wait, there’s more surveillance state goodness where that came from. Through the magic of modern technology, the card could scold them at the checkout for drinking too much and even whack a punitive and sharply escalating tax hit on punters as the night wore on and they nudged it just a little too enthusiastically, at least for the straighteners and punishers at The Conversation.
Not even the current leadership of the ALP is suicidal enough to go down this path. They will empty your superannuation accounts before moving in on your drinking money. The desperate politicians of Cyprus, facing the prospect of national bankruptcy, decided to steal the savings of Russian mafia bosses instead of doing something like this. Even a censorious puckered arse like Abbott, who might in the darkest corners of his shrivelled heart, enjoy the misery such a system would bring, and, possibly, the encouragement it might offer to church going if the altar wine was exempt … even he could probably not be moved in this direction. No matter how much Cardinal Pell urged him on from the cloisters.
There is only one political party with the balls-out craziness to get fully behind this scheme. I think I’m going to have to withhold my usual sympathy vote from the Greens until I hear them swear on a stack of lentils that they will never endorse the idea.
I can think of several UK blogs which could be described as soggy biscuit circles. Although I doubt very much that I\’d ever be able to find a UK newspaper that would let me say so in print.