The Czech Republic is now officially at war with the United States

That was the word in the pub last night. Typically mordant Czech humour of course:

Statement of the Ambassador of the Czech Republic on the Boston terrorist attack

19.04.2013 / 21:27

As many I was deeply shocked by the tragedy that occurred in Boston earlier this month. It was a stark reminder of the fact that any of us could be a victim of senseless violence anywhere at any moment.

As more information on the origin of the alleged perpetrators is coming to light, I am concerned to note in the social media a most unfortunate misunderstanding in this respect. The Czech Republic and Chechnya are two very different entities – the Czech Republic is a Central European country; Chechnya is a part of the Russian Federation.

As the President of the Czech Republic Miloš Zeman noted in his message to President Obama, the Czech Republic is an active and reliable partner of the United States in the fight against terrorism. We are determined to stand side by side with our allies in this respect, there is no doubt about that.

Petr Gandalovi?
Ambassador of the Czech Republic

What makes it all the more spooky is that the town of West, where that fertiliser plant was, had a large Czech population.

I went on to explain that the way to actually get some money out of the Americans is to fight a war against them and lose. At which point several agreed that this was a very good idea. I didn\’t quite have the heart to tell them that, as Peter Sellers found out, it all falls apart if you actually win.

8 thoughts on “The Czech Republic is now officially at war with the United States”

  1. Pingback: It’s funny because it’s true… Low Information Voters aren’t very good at geography | motorcitytimes.com

  2. Chechnyans bomb Boston so Americans are calling for an attack on The Czech Republic.

    The inhabitants of Chichester are shitting themselves.

  3. I was shocked to learn the bombers were Muslims, and not right wing extremists, as the media had initially suggested. Who saw that one coming? Thankfully the Beeb is on hand with the usual “Muslims fear backlash” story, because we mustn’t forget who the real victims are in all this.

  4. One of the official names for the Czech Republic is “Czechia”. Perhaps that is where any confusion lies?

  5. Surreptitious Evil

    I think the sort of American who is sufficiently under-informed geographically to fail to distinguish the Czech Republic and the Russian Federal Chechen Republic is rather unlikely to be well informed on the various official names of either country.

  6. Well, I actually think this is one silver lining in the cloud of Islam. It’s of enormous benefit in promoting otherwise unknown parts of the world. I mean, come on, how else would we have ever heard of Azerbaijan? Dagestan? Towalhedistan?

    Really, consider this; you’re the Ministry Of Cultural Awareness in some forgotten armpit in the middle of nowhere, with a very limited budget. You can afford three ads on Youtube that everyone skips after five seconds, or you can set off a bomb somewhere, and get on every news outlet, and have zillions of effete infidels showing off their geographical knowledge by boastng that they already knew where Nutballistan was, went there on their gap yah, off their head the whole time, chundered everywah. I know which option I’d go for.

  7. I hardly think that forming an association with bombers is the objective of a Ministry of Cultural Awareness.

  8. So Much for Subtlety

    Ian B – “Well, I actually think this is one silver lining in the cloud of Islam. It-s of enormous benefit in promoting otherwise unknown parts of the world. I mean, come on, how else would we have ever heard of Azerbaijan? Dagestan? Towalhedistan?”

    I am not sure that anyone has ever been bombed by an Azeri from Azerbaijan lately. But of course this is just Mencken-s comment that war was God-s way of teaching Americans geography.

    And incidentally, you have a point because even poor Kazakhstan is being forced to embrace Borat because he is the only way to put that sh!thole of frozen desert on the Western cultural map.

    John – “I hardly think that forming an association with bombers is the objective of a Ministry of Cultural Awareness.”

    It is if you work for the British Ministry of Cultural Awareness. The BBC gave tens of thousands of pound to the 7-7 bombers.

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