Finally, I make it into the Mail

Only quoted mind, not paid for it:

But some tech insiders say that the huge markdown could be a sign of its potential success. According to Tim Worstall atForbes \’phone handset pricing can be pretty odd at times. To the airtime provider there are two revenue streams not one. And it\’s the cumulative value of those revenue streams that they\’re interested in, not just the sales value of the phone.

\’So, we could posit, construct an example, where the users of this new Facebook Phone are spending so much time on Facebook on their new phones that their data charges are enormous. So much so that it makes sense for AT&T to give them away so as to be able to charge all of that lovely extra money in the future.\’

The Mail being the Mail of course they fail to go on and mention that I mention this possibility only to dismiss it.

But fame and fortune cannot be far behind, can they? Immigrants wielding mobile phones cause cancer and damage house prices as the basis for my first column for them?

26 thoughts on “Finally, I make it into the Mail”

  1. remember to be very confused over whether you think homosexuality is completely normal, utterly fabulous, or a sin against god and nature.

    Oh, and to condemn young women for dressing like prostitutes, providing lots of pictures so readers can see exactly how brazen these hussies are.

  2. But Sam, if they didn’t show the evidence some people would complain about that. We can’t have the Daily Mail adopting the appalling standards of “climate scientists”, can we?

  3. Steve

    WILL THE INTERNET HAVE SEX WITH HARD-WORKING FAMILIES?

    I warn you, it is addictive. Lots of swans too.

  4. HAS TEENAGE SEX GIVEN CLIFF RICHARD CANCER?

    I still laugh at speak you branes auto comment thing

    http://ifyoulikeitsomuchwhydontyougolivethere.com/the-twat-o-tron/

    typical bbc… studies show that migrants are selling us short because they have given away our sovriegnty. a wise man once said put them in loony bin. this morning at breakfast my son leaned over to me and in a hushed voice said “dad we are still in england, aren

  5. …arent we?” no son, i said. not any more!??

    My country is being betrayed bury st edmunds

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  6. Arnald

    You should be worried. These websites are automating your job. What will happen when their is no longer a demand for your special talents?

  7. When it comes to catering to confirmation bias & inane commenters is there anything to choose between the Graun the Mail?
    Oh. Mail pays its way, doesn’t it? Has a significant readership.

  8. Tim, you need to get something in there about

    (a) The appalling sexualisation of society and

    (b) Celebrity bikini bodies.

  9. Surprising amount of Septics offering their ‘thoughts’ in the mails comment sections there. Is our own native supply of cranks so low that we are letting the the Johnny Foreigner green ink brigade waltz right in like this?

    Churchill would be rolling in his grave.

  10. @ Steve, you stole my pitch. maybe if we add some extreme weather details, it could get in the Express too…..

  11. @Dan,

    no, it’s the septic market that has made the Mail the biggest online news provider (seriously). They love a bit of it. It caters precisely to their mix of prurience and puritannism.

    (which is why, inter alia, half the stories on the blue sidebar concern people you or I have never heard of and woulnd’t wish to. What, for example, is a Courtney Stodden?)

  12. I feel disappointed at not knowing some with-it interent lingo. Can anyone define “Septic” (as used in this thread) for me, to save me future embarrassment?

  13. Ian B: That’s an old one. Authentic English rhyming slang, none of your imported rubbish.

    Septic = Septic Tank = Yank (= Murcan)

  14. @Ian B

    Andrew got there first. It’s yer ackshewal cockney rhyming.

    Not, however, to be confused with ‘Sherman’, which uses the same silent suffix but denotes onanism.

  15. Speaking as probably the last cockney not in captivity, I heard the expression septic here first.
    And it’s a J Arthur & not a sherman.

  16. BIS;

    well, I’m from the home counties originally and live in a bit of London that only non-londoners think is London, so I stand corrected.

    I have heard both used genuinely, but that’s probably artificial integration.

  17. Afer me culchuwly necissary plate a lily’n cuppa rosie atan English caff lass nite, oi’ll forgive ye, Sam.

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