We’d go up to him and kneel before him, holding up the badges of office so he could take them. And we’d say
“Oh mighty if slightly pigmentally lacking warrior, we pledge fealty to you and your descendants in perpetuity. Lead us into our bright new future, where all have chocolate bars, none shall shiver, and even the fuckwits know that if you have a sleeping bag it’s no good unless you get in it first.”
But he would say, “No, my people need me” And he’d turn and walk into the mist and at first we’d see his outline in the fog but then he’d be seen no more.
And some of the women would weep at this point, but you and I would turn and walk away, shaking our heads in wonder, and you would put your arm around my shoulders. In a manly way.