Given this news should I claim to be in good health or bad?

It is a subject that has provoked a host of myths, from causing blindness and insanity to the loss of vital organs.

Now two academics are on a mission to set the record straight about masturbation – and highlight all the health benefits it can bring.

Anthony Santella, a public health scientist at the University of Sydney and his colleague Spring Chenoa Cooper, a senior lecturer, say self-pleasuring can ward off a host of illnesses, from cystitis, diabetes to prostate cancer.

11 thoughts on “Given this news should I claim to be in good health or bad?”

  1. I tried reading their academic paper, but the pages were all stuck together.

    Anyway, masturbation isn’t always good for you, look at poor David Carradine.

    Perhaps we need an NHS campaign to promote healthy hand relief. There’s no shortage of suitable candidates for the role of Wank Tsar.

  2. “Academic study” shows surprising result: “Those capable of cracking one out in better health than those not capable of cracking one out.” “Academic” says “More research funding needed”.

  3. Just for a fleeting moment I thought this might have some grounding in reality. Then I clicked on the link and was taken to the Daily Mail. I’ll wait until next month for the Mail article that says people who wank die early or get dementia or get fat or thin or cancer or…

  4. Well, joking aside, considering that the lovely proggie-feminist coalition are once again pushing the “wanking is bad for you” discourse again, this is probably a good thing that has to be said even though it shouldn’t need saying.

    So okay, we’ve moved on from “causes degeneration” to “rewires the brain/addicts to own brain chemicals/causes impotence” etc, but it’s the same basic campaign.

  5. Sounds interesting.

    WHat is needed is an NHS website to help people trying to learn and perfect this important life enhancing skill. I can imagine this would have various photographs of helpful nurses talking you through it, like most other health related websites.

    Some policewomen and possibly a female traffic warden or two would n’t go amiss either, ooh noo it’s too much for me…

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