Germany’s going to invade France again

And all because the English would like to rule themselves:

The rise of Eurosceptic groups such as the UK Independence Party hampers the cooperation that has kept the continent at peace for decades, Germany’s foreign minister said.

Which is a fairly odd thing for anyone to state really.

Whether the Wermacht makes a move on Paris or not is a decision that would be made by those who run the Wermacht. You know, German politicians? Why they would want to invade France again is unclear, and why the trigger for their doing so should be that we English tell the corpulent fuckers in Brussels to bugger off is quite beyond me.

Beyond any possible reason in fact.

26 thoughts on “Germany’s going to invade France again”

  1. Please, can we stay the f*ck out of it this time and mind our own business.

    Our unwarranted interference in a franco german border dispute 100 years ago was the original sin which directly caused the deaths of 150 odd million over the next 80 years

    Lenin, Trostsky, Stalin, Mao et al would have died poor, unknown and impotent without the enabling chaos of WW1

  2. So Much For Subtlety

    So their argument is that without us being there to hold them back, the next full moon will result in those nice Germans growing hair and fangs and savaging the French?

    I can’t say I give a f**k. We should have stayed out of WW1. And if the Germans won, well, good. Almost all our wars against the French have worked out well. All those against the Germans have not.

  3. I’m not sure that all of our wars against the French have worked out that well, have they? We’ve won most of the cup finals, I suppose, but they are a far more martial race than us.

    I’m surprised the left aren’t agitating for war, anyway. It would solve the unemployment crisis and boost aggregate demand – especially if it went nuclear. Think of the rebuilding!

  4. “Why they [the Wermacht] would want to invade France again is unclear”

    Maybe it was because the last three times the Germans invaded France (1870, 1914 and 1940 respectively), they were so successful, the people were so grateful and overall the invasions were beneficial to the Germans?


    Then again, maybe not.

  5. I have never understood why Germans lap those sorts of stories up. I am sure most Brits would regard it as patronising to be told ‘but for the EU Britain and France would go to war over North American and Indian colonies’. And I’ve never heard anyone from either side of the Scottish independence referendum campaign say ‘but for political union, we’ll have endless repeats of Bannockburn and Flodden’.

  6. Well, both ourselves and the Frogs have nukes (and in Marianne’s case, she’d probably use them, God bless their fierce little Rainbow Warrior sinking hearts), while Germany’s politically correct, gender neutral armed forces were safely locked up in their own barracks for the majority of their recent stay in Afghanistan, so traumatised were they by the thought of killing and dying. And that was a handpicked contingent of the German war machine, so safe to say they won’t be molesting the Low Countries or nibbling off parts of Poland any time soon.

    So I’m not too worried about seeing the huns goosestep under the Arc de Triomphe in my lifetime. More likely is that Europe will see increasing civil unrest/fourth generation warfare thanks to a combination of Eurozone wealth destruction and the exciting, vibrant tendencies of our more exciteable immigrant communities.

    Of course if it did come to another European ruck it would be nice if we got to hang Nick Clegg as a collaborator.

    If I were a doughy little Teutonic politician I’d be happy to say auf weidersehn to Britain from the EU. De Gaulle was right to stop us joining in the first place, we’re fundamentally incompatible with the European project, because we’re not really Europeans at heart.

  7. It should also be remembered, despite the protestations of EU politicians and other vested interests that it is NATO which stops the German Wermacht from rolling across the verdant fields of France, not the EU.

    Which was why NATO was established in the first fucking place.

    Anyone who pushes the EU line is a liar or a paid shill and anyone who believes it is either an idiot or a recipient of EU funds / salary / pension.

    I’m talking about YOU Messrs Clegg, Kinnock, Mandelson et all. Bloody traitors the lot of you.

  8. That would be the cooperation that allowed Germany to push the EU into “recognising” arming, and bombing to assist various ex-Nazis racially purify statelets in former Yugoslavia in the only war Europe has had since Germany last interfered.

  9. There was a glorious moment in Google search history, about a dozen years or more ago, when if you searched for ‘French military victories’ it returned nil results, and politely enquired whether you in fact meant to search for ‘French military defeats’. A trifle unfair, actually, but still funny.

  10. “Please, can we stay the f*ck out of it this time and mind our own business.”

    A triumphant, hegemonic Imperial Germany in control of Belgian and possibly French channel ports was our business.

  11. There is a third option, which has served us well throughout history, viz throw our lot in with the Germans against the French.

    During the two most recent outbreaks of unpleasantness that wasn’t really an option because they were either being rather evil or prejudicial to British interests. But before that it all turned out rather well.

  12. “But before that it all turned out rather well”

    Well, before that there wasn’t really a Germany.

    And the French were the principal strategic rival and strongest European land power.

  13. Herr Steinmeier also said (of anything that hampers ever closer cooperation):

    “These dangers have to be forever banned.”

    No ambiguity there!

  14. Very productive war the 14-18. A mere few million deaths & people have been making political points off of it, ever since. Probably works out at several hundred quid’s worth or earnings per corpse.

  15. Waterloo, and the help of the Bavarians, in the victory over Napoleon, will be celebrated next year.

    Waterloo, the one place the Germans and the English can stand together to celebrate a shared history.

  16. ‘Which was why NATO was established in the first fucking place.’
    I think NATO was formed to stop the Soviets rolling across Western Europe, which it did quite successfully, mostly without the French.

  17. What Richard T said.

    More generally Tim asks what reason the Germans would have for invading France again apart obviously from the fact that they are annoying bastards.

    German war aims in 1914 are in fact a complete mystery. They complained about feeling surrounded by Fr and Ru, but totally rejected efforts to defuse that. In fact in all the reading I have done on the subject I can only conclude that Kaiser Bill wanted to play with his expensively acquired toys, and (very fine indeed) Army.

    This type of mindless propaganda is so tiresome that one can hardly be arsed to comment and yet by not doing the meme takes hold.

    The price of freedom might be eternal vigialnce but it is also endlessly replying to mendacious stupidity repeated ad nauseam.

  18. Eddy: I think NATO was formed to stop the Soviets rolling across Western Europe, which it did quite successfully, mostly without the French.

    It was formed to keep the Americans in, the Russians out, and the Germans down. Problem is now the Russians aren’t official enemies, the pesky Germans have popped up. I think Putin is working to restore the old order though.

  19. You could fill e decent-sized personal library with books on the reasons why the First World War started. I strongly doubt that any would make the case that Britain’s absence from a pan-European alliance modelled on the Prussian Rechtsstaat was one of them.

  20. JollyGreen, I fear that Gebhard Leberecht von Blücher, Fürst von Wahlstatt, the Prussian who fought alongside Wellington at Waterloo would be a trifle upset at being called a Bavarian.

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