Cupcake fascism

Beware of cupcake fascism
A sickly sweet movement expresses the desire of an infantilised populace to hide from the world while imposing bourgeois values

31 thoughts on “Cupcake fascism”

  1. Ha – I actually read that the other day and later thought I must have dreamed it.

    ‘Tom Whyman for Critical Legal Thinking, part of the Guardian Comment Network’

    From his website:

    ‘This is our time, the time of protest, of change, the welcoming of the event. Critical (legal) theory must be re-​linked with eman­cip­atory and rad­ical politics. We need to ima­gine or dream a law or so­ciety in which people are no longer des­pised or de­graded, op­pressed or dom­in­ated and from that im­possible but ne­ces­sary stand­point to judge the here and now. (Legal) cri­tique is the com­panion and guide of rad­ical change.’

    He’s so fucking oppressed that he’s currently on holiday, from his job as a graduate teaching assistant at the ‘University’ of Essex, in Ibiza. He seems to spend most of his life tweeting or blogging, and by the sound of the latest piece on his blog, 3,762 words on a film, he certainly likes the sound of his own keyboard.

    What about the poor saps of Essex oppressed on pain of imprisonment into working in shite jobs to fund you and your Ibizan holidays, you cheeky cunt?

    Get. A. Fucking. Job.

  2. The Other Bloke in Italy

    Damn: I gave them a click. Tim, you should warn us.

    Even just giving the piece a quick scan then getting out before I caught something nasty, I came to similar conclusions to those expressed above. That article is so puerile even a naif like me can get it at once.

  3. funnily enough, I actually agree with part of his central message, which is that society is becoming helplessly and tremendously infantilised (Michael Bywater’s book on the subject is bloody well worth a read). I just disagree with everything else, including his analysis, his reasoning, his conclusions, his tone, diction and syntax* and his assumptions.

    in particular the explicit assumption that fascism will always mean the assertion of middle-​class values and the implicit one that the assertion of middle class values is in any way a bad thing.

    *The constellation of cultural tropes that most paradigmatically manifest in the form of the cupcake …FFS

  4. The beauty of this is that these people will soon be replaced by machines.

    A random word generator would be hard pressed to replicate a good novelist, and possibly even a bad one, and non-fiction requires actual facts.

    But you can reproduce this stuff by throwing a few words in to the air – eg ‘normative’, ‘paradigm’, ‘tropes’, ‘dialectical’ – and seeing what comes down.

  5. I looked at the wee face at the head of the article, and after reading only a few words of it, had my original impression confirmed.

    That is a face that needs a good twatting.

  6. That’s “Critical Legal Thinking” as in “Critical Theory”, not as in “Criticism”, or, frankly, “Thinking”.

    In other words, it has about the same meaning to the common English understanding of the words as ‘democratic’ and ‘people’ do in “Democratic People’s Republic of Korea”.

  7. Grown man who is still a philosophy student decries infantilisation.

    Also, he says the mobs of thieves and thugs who perpetrated the 2011 riots were “demonised”, but the predominantly white middle class people who volunteered afterwards to help clean up the streets and assist the predominantly Asian-owned local shops that had been looted or burned by predominantly black gangs were fascists.

    What they should have done is “embrace the new possibilities thrown up by the crisis”, perhaps by burning down an Asian corner shop themselves? Perhaps by finding an effete philosophy student and battering him till his ridiculous little pedostache became a swollen mass of blood, tears and snotters?

  8. The radical response is to embrace the new possibilities thrown up by the crisis; the reactionary one is to shut these possibilities down.

    as far as I could see, the ‘new possibilities’ were looting, arson and vandalism. So, err, sign me up for the reactionary lot, each and every time.

    Also, I seem to recall that in the 1930s, in germany, there were some people who embraced the new possibilities thrown up by the crisis. They were rather fond of arson, too.

    I’m not saying this twerp is a Nazi, just that he fundamentally doesn’t even understand what he thinks he’s talking about. What a little tit.

  9. Someone who describes an anti-Nazi propaganda tool as fascist? To describe him as infantile insults infants.

  10. Sam – “as far as I could see, the ‘new possibilities’ were looting, arson and vandalism.”

    Don’t forget assault and murder. Including a 68 year old man who was beaten to death by a gang of cowardly young thugs for trying to put out a small fire.

    Exciting possibilities, eh?

  11. It’s amazing how often “radicalism” and “a new way of thinking” just boil down to false consciousness. Again.

    The left has kind of run out of ideas with any mass appeal, hasn’t it?

  12. I just read that piece of claptrap and was coming here to accuse WorstOfAll (ha ha see what I did there) of writing it as a spoof and he already has his denial in which I don’t believe. It was a Timmy spoof and I claim my £5.

  13. SBML kinda got there first, but isn’t this just proof that postmodernism in plain English is just as much bollocks as all the umbilicocentric self-admiring discourse of critical dialectic?

  14. He would soil his pants at the first sign of the serious violent disorder he longs for. Leave it for the grown ups, son.

  15. Makes this email I received today a bit more plausible:

    QUESTION: You’re on duty by yourself walking on a deserted street late at night. Suddenly, an armed man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife and lunges at you. You are carrying your truncheon and are an expert in using it. However, you have only a split second to react before he reaches you. What do you do?


    British Police Officer:

    Firstly, the Officer must consider the man’s human rights.

    1) Does the man look poor or oppressed?

    2) Is he newly arrived in this country and does not yet understand the law?

    3) Is this really a knife or a ceremonial dagger?

    4) Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

    5) Am I dressed provocatively?

    6) Why am I carrying a truncheon anyway and what kind of message does this send to society?

    American Police Officer:


    Glasgow Police Officer:

    “Haw, Jimmie.. Drop the knife, noo, unless you want it stuck up yer bum!”

  16. Didn’t I read somewhere that the Guardian was going to move away from paying real journos and start allowing “citizen journalists” to write on CiF for…well, for free really?

    I only ask because that really would explain quite a lot…except Polly..and Willy perhaps.

  17. He would soil his pants at the first sign of the serious violent disorder he longs for. Leave it for the grown ups, son

    You’d think by now the Left would have figured this out, but they still haven’t. People who are good at violence are very rarely bien pensant ‘intellectual’ left wingers. They are sometimes left wing economically, and occasionally hard left, but by and large they aren’t very left wing at all because becoming good at violence in any form takes training, application, self-discipline, and attitudes to both risk and personal reward that are antithetical to the bien pensant left wing mindset.

  18. @sam
    “People who are good at violence are very rarely bien pensant ‘intellectual’ left wingers.”

    You couldn’t have said truer words. But that doesn’t stop the left using such people as the shock troops to advance the left’s causes. Hence the embracing of the perpetrators of the riots by the writer of the article.
    Unfortunately, this is something the left understand & libertarians don’t seem to. Liberty will never be handed on a plate. It will have to be fought for & requires people willing to fight, to do the fighting.

  19. @BIS

    But that doesn’t stop the left using such people as the shock troops to advance the left’s causes

    You’re quite right (and ditto regarding libertarians) but what the left don’t seem to get is that whilst it’s rarely very difficult to persuade violent men to demand the reins of power on your behalf it can be quite hard to persuade them to go away afterwards. They do have a tendency to at best want paying, and at worst think “hang on, I now appear to have both the reins of power and the weapons. D’ye know, I might keep both.”

    Which goes some way towards explaining why most revolutions don’t end up with Brave New Societies, but martial dictatoriship.

  20. Bloke in Costa Rica

    I suppose I could stagger over to the Graun and see how he’s managed to conflate cupcakes with inner-city rioters but at the very thought an enormous lassitude descends upon me, as though a thousand nightingales had just set up shop outside my window and were going at it full tilt. I wonder if a study could be done of CiF columnists to ascertain the rotation rate they achieve just at the point where they disappear up their own arseholes. Could this be used as a carbon-neutral form of energy generation? Wind up Mongbat, hitch his ringpiece to a dynamo, and set him off. Energy crisis solved!

  21. Are we sure this isn’t really a parody that the Graun somehow took seriously?

    This is someone who’s written over 7000 words on the politics of sugar coated chocolate sweets. Here’s a sample:

    Scientists – or, at least, Richard Dawkins, who as an apiarist who knows a bit about Newtonian physics is I suppose a sort of scientist – are always trying in vain to get us to take an aesthetic wonder in science as if it was art: the M&Ms, however, already have access to the possibility of convincing us to sexually fantasise only about whatever stands at the bottom of their reality. Think of the power of a science that was able to get the general public to centre their erotic lives around quarks. When the Higgs Boson was ‘discovered’, maybe a few hundred people got an erection. If all men generally did, this old science would seem much more durable as a world-picture. The fact that they did not, opens the way forwards for the Character-Ontology of the M&Ms.

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