An hour? For a pint?

The two Liberal Democrats posed awkwardly pouring a pint as scores of waiting journalists were all barred from entering the pub and were left peering through the window.

At one point Mr Clegg’s special advisor came out into the rain to ask the photographers and journalists to stop banging on the window disrupting the photo opportunity.

During the staged event Mr Cable and Mr Clegg spent an hour talking to the pub owners and drinking a pint of ale as journalists and broadcast cameras stood in the rain filming through the window and were unable to ask any questions.

On the way in Mr Cable was asked why he had not told his leader Mr Clegg about damaging polls that were commissioned by his friend and ally Lord Oakeshott. He replied “eerm” and then entered the pub.

Asked whether he planned to confront his Business Secretary over the alleged coup Mr Clegg said: “We are just going to pop into the pub.”

Dear God.

No wonder their vote has collapsed if they show themselves to be that sort of booze weenies.

21 thoughts on “An hour? For a pint?”

  1. Excuse my Anglo Saxon, but this is fucking brilliant.

    First off, have you seen the average Lib Dem activist? They make Cleggy look normal. It may take the Deputy PM an hour to pour a pint, but I guarantee you, if this had been typical Lib Dumbers they’d all have ended up in Casualty.

    Secondly, after their abject humiliation in the European elections, and noting the success of UKIP, the lesson the Libs took from that is… more Farage-style pub-based photo opps? “Half a litre of your finest biere de garde please!” Bwahahahahahaha!

  2. Haha…Steve, you’re right, I’m sure. The only hard core Lib Dem I know is a teetotal, veggie, Dr Who fanatic.

  3. Dongguan John – there’s one in our office building. Stocky, bearded chap who looks like an unkempt hobbit. Doesn’t like eye contact.

    He wears a Lib Dem lapel pin and a little Palestinian flag on his denim jacket. And – I shit you not – I’ve seen him wearing sandals at work. I used to think the beard and sandals thing was just a stereotype, but it’s real. This is in a workplace where even the janitor wears a shirt and tie.

    First time I laid eyes on him I thought a tramp had gotten past security, but apparently he’s an IT guy. He even walks to work. I assume some ruffians must’ve stolen his bicycle.

  4. What was purpose of the photo-op? A picture of Clegg pulling a pint with a caption saying “Thanks to us you soon won’t be able to afford this” or “Enjoy your local before we find a way to shut what’s left of them”.

  5. An hour for a pint, in pleasant company? Seems reasonable if you are in the pub to escape the missus or (as usual for me) waiting for a plane, rather than to get a good glow on prior to a curry or a match.

    In the company of Clegg and Cable? It’s a long time since I’ve been silly enough to do speed drinking but no more than a couple of minutes, I suspect and then out the door.

  6. the best bit about this is the week – I’m prepared to bet it took at least that long – it took, and the sheer weight of emails to decide what pint to have.

    Lager? Too louty. Speciality lager? too elitist. Bitter? Could give rise to unfortunate headlines. Mild? Ditto. Wine? Don’t even think about it. Ale then. What ale? &c &c.

  7. Did they actually drink their beer? The photos I have seen all seem to show their glasses three quarters full.

  8. Sam – this is the sort of shit that makes me think maybe David Icke is right.

    Whether it’s Ed Miliband trying to eat a bacon sandwich, Nick Clegg pretending to drink pints, or David Cameron claiming he doesn’t hunt working class people for fun on his private estate, it’s like our politicians are pretending to be humans.

    Nigel Farage isn’t popular because he smokes and drinks, he’s popular because he seems authentic and sincere, and articulates what a lot of voters are thinking. He could be a teetotal drag queen called Busty La Boobs and people would still think well of him, so long as it wasn’t obviously a cynical ploy.

    But our Politibots see him winning a ton of votes and in their cold reptilian brains they think “must be seen to drink… ethanol-based liquid… then foolish Earthlings will vote for me. HAHAHAHAHA.”. Then their gullets expand wider than would be possible in humans as they swallow a live guinea pig whole.

  9. @Steve

    To be fair, stocky, bearded chaps who look like unkempt hobbits and wear sandals are generally real ale freaks. (Not sure about the pro Palestinian tiepin, mind you.)

  10. @Steve – I frequently see photos of Farage laughing. I think I can remember seeing a photo of Dave laughing or smiling once or twice, but not Clegg, certainly not Miliband. You might be on to something…

    On the subject of LibDem activists, I worked with one once. An unkempt chubby sex pest who made Lord Rennard look like George Clooney. Also a Dr Who fan…

  11. Interested – Yes. It could go either way though. I wouldn’t be surprised if he had an extensive knowledge of real ales and model trains.

    If he was a Wiccan Grand High Priest with an attic full of illicit hydroponics and Jethro Tull records I wouldn’t be surprised either.

    I don’t know what to make of a middle aged man who feels it’s important to broadcast his solidarity with Palestine at work. Usually that sort of thing would be associated with right-on 18 year old undergraduates who don’t have jobs and are a bit thick, but know how to fix the world. Or angry 20-something Muslims who don’t have jobs and are a bit thick, but know how to fix the Ummah. You know where you stand with those groups.

    Ljh – they probably got quite pissy though.

  12. MC – seems to be a theme with them.

    Maybe they should change their logo to a bird with a model Tardis in one claw and a pair of women’s knickers in the other.

  13. Bloke in Costa Rica

    I did some leaflet stuffing and telling for the Tories back when Maggie was in power and they hadn’t been colonised by Blairite sleeper agents like Cameron, so I ran across more than few SDP-LA (subsequently LD) types. It was widely known that LibDems were the most egregious shits when it came to local politics. Adjusting your platform to account for sensibilities on the ground is all very well, but none of these fuckers had a principle they wouldn’t jettison if they thought it gave them an advantage. You could take the same bloke, run him against a Conservative and then a Labour guy and he’d swivel on a dime between the two. Like they say, if it wasn’t for double standards they’d have no standards at all. They were notorious for the nastiness of their electoral literature and for being weird trainspottery types in person. Junior lecturer at the poly kind of thing. Leather elbow patches, halitosis and dandruff, strange facial hair (and the men were even worse).

  14. You all seem to have met a horribly restricted (or a restricted group of horrible) Lib Dem activists. My best memory of the first Lib Dem activist I knew was of her carrying a Christmas tree home from the market three miles away (she turned down my offer to carry it for her). She was totally straight (in the old-fashioned sense of the word, at least, and I think in all meanings but I never made a pass at as we had known each other as toddlers).
    Certainly there are some like those mentioned by “Bloke in Costa Rica” but that is not universal.

  15. Farage’s missus says he drinks too much and smokes too much, which should garner him another half million votes.

  16. Bloke in Costa Rica

    john77, I’m glad you met a nice one. All the ones I ever met were rank bad hats I’m afraid.

  17. I once ventured to the LibDem conference (don’t worry; I was being paid) and there still seemed to be a split between the ex-SDP and the ex-Liberal types. This was 15 years after the merger, but even the newer members seemed to tend towards one camp or the other.

    I had drunk too much for a very scientific survey (this was the Charlie Kennedy days), but it did seem that the ex-Libs were much better company; they claimed that the shites were all ex-SDP.

  18. I agree with Mr Ecks. Crikey!
    The word is that Clegg only drank half his : Cable sank the lot (in more senses than one probably)

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