Apparently this is what to say to Russell Brand.

Never having heard the original song myself I wouldn’t know. But glad someone’s got the measure of the supreme tittiness of the pronouncements.

20 thoughts on “Parklife!”

  1. Great song, great video:

    “Parklife”

    Confidence is a preference for the habitual voyeur of what is known as (parklife)
    And morning soup can be avoided if you take a route straight through what is known as
    (parklife)
    John’s got brewers droop he gets intimidated by the dirty pigeons
    They love a bit of it (parklife)
    Who’s that gut lord marching… you should cut down on your porklife mate… get some
    Exercise

    [Chorus]
    ALL THE PEOPLE
    SO MANY PEOPLE
    THEY ALL GO HAND IN HAND
    HAND IN HAND THROUGH THEIR PARKLIFE

    Know what I mean
    I get up when I want except on Wednesdays when I get rudely awakened by the dustmen
    (Parklife)
    I put my trousers on, have a cup of tea and I think about leaving the house (parklife)
    I feed the pigeons I sometimes feed the sparrows too it gives me a sense of enormous well
    Being (parklife)
    And then I’m happy for the rest of the day safe in the knowledge there will always be a bit
    Of my heart devoted to it (parklife)

    [Chorus]

    Parklife (parklife)
    Parklife (parklife)

    It’s got nothing to do with vorsprung durch technic you know
    And it’s not about you joggers who go round and round and round
    Parklife (parklife)

  2. Since everyone attaches importance to what a comedian / pop singer has to say, I’m making Jordan the supermodel my official spokes-person. She will appear (full frontal – tits in full view) on my economics blog every day. I fully expect worthy articles to appear in the Financial Times shortly after, dealing with the profound thoughts of Jordan and her tits.

  3. Have you really never heard Parklife?

    I love the angry and humourless reaction of Brand and his followers to gentle mockery. It makes it all worthwhile.

  4. I rather like Jordan, apart from her media fetish she doesn’t appear any different from many other ‘attractive’ women I have met over the years. And who says you can’t have a fetish? 🙂
    Seriously I’d give her more attention than I give Brand.

  5. Martin,

    I take it you didn’t see Jordan’s fly-on-the-wall documentary about herself, then? I am not generally a fan of “reality” TV, but it was compulsive viewing. It was the combination of her being an enormously nasty spiteful person, of her being so unaware of this fact that she had had the idea of broadcasting herself and it apparently never occurred to her to tone it down for the cameras, and the revelation that Peter Andre is one of the nicest blokes in the world, utterly in love and devoted to her to matter how she treated him. And she treated him like shit.

    Pretty sure that show is the reason Andre’s remained such a popular sleb ever since.

    Tim,

    You really need to hear Parklife. Don’t think much of it as a song myself, but it really is the perfect way to read Brand’s sentences.

  6. Thinking about it, I do think our lords & masters have missed a trick not recruiting Peter Andre into the diplomatic service. His ability to remain calm and polite and reasonable in the face of nuclear-grade spite is being wasted. I’d love to see him sent to negotiate with Putin.

  7. Dating myself, Parklife was out at around the time I was (supposed to be) studying engineering, and this pastiche did the rounds amoungst people reading proper subjescts:

    Laziness is a preference for the habitual voyeur of what is known as (Arts life)
    A morning lecture can be avoided if you take a route straight through what is known as
    (Arts life)
    John’s got to much work to do he gets intimidated by the dirty engineers
    They love a bit of it (parklife)
    Who’s that idiotworking… you should cut down on your science life mate… get back to bed

    [Chorus]
    ALL MY LECTURES
    MY TWO-OO LECTURES
    I SOME-TIMES GO TO THEM
    GO TO THEM IN MY ARTSLIFE

    Know what I mean
    I get up when I want except on Wednesdays when I get rudely awakened by the cleaner
    (Arts life)
    I put my trousers on, have a cup of tea and I think about leaving the bed (Arts life)
    I play some pool, I sometimes play Daytona too, it gives me an enormous sense of having done something (Arts life)
    And then I’m happy for the rest of the day, safe in the knowledge there will always be another grant cheque devoted to me (Arts life)

    [Chorus]

    Arts life (Arts life)
    Arts life (Arts life)

    It’s got nothing to do with your 9 o’clock lectures you know
    And it’s not about you lecturers who go on and on and on…
    Arts life (Arts life)
    [CHORUS]

  8. Brand seems to very mixed up. He is peddling leftist boilerplate one minute and then twiting about “Vote for candidates who will protect you from ÂŁ4 trillion QE theft(None)”. That is actually not a bad point (tho’ not sure if the actual figure is correct). He needs to publish some sort of manifesto of what he actually believes as trying to shine all colours in the spectrum at once just gives –horror!!!–WHITE light.

  9. Once they start mocking you it’s all over. It was fun while it lasted, no matter how brief. Thanks for the laughs, Russ.

  10. @SQ2: thats my take on the PA/KP issue too – PA comes across as a pretty decent sort of chap really, while she seems a right piece of work. And I’m sure you’re right, there’s definitely a public sense of ‘poor chap, after all he’s had to put up with the least we can do is keep him working and making a living out of being a celeb’.

    Though I have to say, given KP’s business empire she’s built out of pretty much nothing beyond a pair of big tits, she would probably make a better economic advisor than Russell Brand.

    Maybe thats the next way to mock RB, quote KP at him every time he spouts off about something.

  11. Bloke in Costa Rica

    “Never having heard the original song myself”. I picture Tim looking over his half-moon glasses and asking “what is a Beatle, pray?” Tee hee.

    Brand displays a lot of the flaws common to autodidacts, chief among them being not knowing what he doesn’t know.

  12. I’m so loud, as if I know what I’m on about, but deep inside, I’m so insecure. Just a little girl.

    The men I find myself attracted to are the ones who don’t say anything and are quite shy.

    All I want is a gentleman. I’m sick to bloody death of bastards.

    This idea has legs.

  13. Thanks for the laughs, Russ.

    There were laughs, magnusw? My daughter persuaded me to watch his remake of Arthur, I gamely lasted about 15 minutes before I could take no more.

    I’m genuinely bewildered that this talentless moron has become a celebrity.

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