Why you shouldn’t die a virgin.

The terrorists are up there waiting for you.

18 thoughts on “Why you shouldn’t die a virgin.”

  1. I’ve never understood the expression “losing your virginity”. I never missed mine, and never went looking for it.

    Still, excellent point Tim. Can’t be too careful!

  2. I’ve heard that it was “raisins” not “virgins” according to some commentators, but don’t know how seriously to take it. Definitely best not to die as a grape, anyway.

  3. Great pick up line though – “You’re still eligible for a terrorist’s harem? Oh on, let me fix that for you…”

  4. I thought that the point was that they are eternally virgin! Just serve those terrorists right – an eternity of frustrated lust.

  5. Oh, come come Tim. You’re a good Catholic boy, you know what awaits these bastards: the seventh circle of Hell awaits ISIS, AQ, Taliban etc.

    It’s debatable whether they’ll get the Outer Ring – a river of blood and fire for their violence against people, or the Inner Ring – flaming sands and fiery flakes raining from the sky – due to their blasphemy against the Triune God or their propensity for sodomising young boys.

  6. I called Interested a fat poof the other day.
    Of course I meant to type “fantastic proofreader”.
    Seventh century keyboards were just as dodgy. While taking dictation from the Angel Gabriel old Mo meant to type “currants” but some letters got dropped.

  7. So Much for Subtlety

    MyBurningEars – “I’ve heard that it was “raisins” not “virgins” according to some commentators, but don’t know how seriously to take it. Definitely best not to die as a grape, anyway.”

    What is interesting about that book by Christoph Luxenberg is that while the premise is nuts, after you’re 100 pages in to what are actually sensible arguments about how the Quran was actually not written in Arabic, you realise his case is not too bad.

    Best not die a grape. After all, having sex for the first time can be painful for a virgin. I expect it would be much worse for a grape.

  8. bloke (not) in spain

    All their talk about virgins but they never seem to be completely explicit about what sex these virgins are. Given it’s about the people it’s about, maybe the whole deal’s recursive.

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