God Bless the British

Tony Callaghan, owner of Harry’s Bar, said: “The work experience lad was tasked with providing 24 competition pies, but mixed up the order and sent them to a divorce party up the road. By the time we realised, it was too late.”

He added: “We had to go ahead. It was a bit like Andy Murray replacing Roger Federer for a show game at the tennis finals in the O2, but everyone took it in their stride and demonstrated the professionalism of pie-eating at this level.

“It was a shame, because these lads practise long and often: you can see how seriously they take it, practising pie-eating late into the night on every street corner in Wigan town centre.”

The cooked dimensions of the official competition pie should be a diameter of 12cm and a depth of 3.5cm, with a pie wall angle from base to top of between zero and 15 degrees.

7 thoughts on “God Bless the British”

  1. “But the result was only for half a pie after umpires decided that full pie consumption could be dangerous due to its size. ”

    Bleedin elf’n’safety gone mad I tell you.

  2. Bloke in Costa Rica

    I don’t think I could adequately explain the full majesty of this story to a foreigner even with flip charts, visual aids and limitless quantities of patience on both sides.

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