Just off to the pub dear, it’s for my health

It is the news no long-suffering wife wanted to hear: scientists have proved that every man needs a good night out with his friends.

According to the research, male bonding is more likely to lower a man’s stress levels than a night out with his partner, or time spent with the family.

The study – bound to be wheeled out as an excuse by men across the country – found males suffer less anxiety when out in a group.

Scientists from Germany’s University of Gottingen studied groups of Barbary macaques, a type of ape which exhibits remarkably human-like social behaviour.

Levels of male stress hormone soared when male macaques were with their partner or other family members. But when they were in a group of other males, they were more much more relaxed.

The researchers even discovered stress-related illnesses only seemed to occur among females or couples.

Convinces me I have to say.

11 thoughts on “Just off to the pub dear, it’s for my health”

  1. Of course you are going to feel at ease in the company of our own. Little effort is required. Throw in a couple of platitudes in response to last night’s match or a fight you may have seen on telly and your job is done, your mates will leave you alone. The company of a woman obliges you to engage your brain, discuss subjects outside the normal comfort zone. Instead of savouring a pint you have to divert power to the shield to deflect the constant yapping, the inquisitive questions. And then there’s the drain on your pocket, the constant treks to the bar for assorted sickly concoctions.

  2. Us of course the sheer nervous energy required repelling the constant background suspicion of your partner that you are responsible for everything wrong in her life.

    BaaB (Better as a Batchelor). No excuses needed then.

  3. The company of a woman obliges you to engage your brain
    I find that I can often get away with just my standby light flickering.

  4. I do find it odd that some journalists have the job of scouring scientific papers looking for anything that can be given a puerile and ignorant spin totally unrelated to anything in the paper itself. It’s a living, I suppose.

  5. The Other Bloke in Italy

    Perhaps the researchers will discover the Girls’ night out, and our knowledge will be complete.

  6. > Perhaps the researchers will discover the Girls’ night out, and our knowledge will be complete.

    See, and then, thanks to the absurd misreporting, people end up being sarcastic about the scientists.

  7. I’m not at all convinced by the Barbary macaques angle but I admit the blokes down the Dog and Duck do exhibit remarkably human-like social behaviour, so off I go…

  8. So Much for Subtlety

    You know, men often get a lot of stick for not going to the doctor often enough and generally being unconcerned about their health. I think these scientists ought to be congratulated for correcting a vicious stereotype.

    Especially as we know some men take caring about their health really seriously:


    An Omagh plumber tunnelled a hole from under his bed to the local pub 800 feet from his house over the course of 15 years, a court heard today.

    Patsy Kerr had been summonsed to Omagh County Court after it emerged he had been the cause of a collapsed sewage pipe from a neighbouring house. Kerr told the court about his secret tunnel and the reasons behind it:

    “The wife has a bad snore on her and after watching the Shawshank Redemption on RTE one night in 1994, I decided to do something about it so I waited til she was in a deep sleep and then set about digging a hole under the bed in the direction of the pub. I used all manner of tools from spoons to a heavy duty tunnel boring machine I managed to sneak down there when she was at the shops. It wasn’t until 2009 that I hit the jackpot and came up through the women’s toilet mop and bucket room.”

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