When Squander met Russell

Read this.

59 thoughts on “When Squander met Russell”

  1. Didn’t see anywhere to leave a comment on Squander’s blog so…

    Did you think a pack of traders might gallop through reception, laughing maniacally as they threw burning banknotes in the air, quaffing champagne, and brutally thrashing the ornamental paupers that they keep on diamante leashes — and you, Russell, would damningly catch them in the act? But that’s on Tuesdays.

    I’m trying and failing to stop giggling like a schoolgirl.

    Absolutely brilliant. 🙂

  2. Enjoyed enormously.

    It was good to have my prejudices about the fella confirmed!

    Ho hum, back to work: gotta go and chat to my bank manager to see if I can claw some of those excessive bank charges back.

  3. Squander Two is one of my favourite bloggers/commenters. Funny, a good writer and a very sensible head.

    This deserves to be shared widely, or “go viral” as the youth say.

  4. bloke (not) in spain

    Of course if one ever has to deal with the “fairly well paid but still quite ordinary working people, admin staff mostly” employed by RBS one might fantasize about hosing them down with a flamethrower…but…well done. ,

  5. The Other Bloke in Italy

    My dear Squander, that was truly splendid. I will post the link to a couple of places where it should be appreciated.

    When you mentioned this the other day, I did hope you had dotted the fellow’s eyes and crossed his teeth. Now I can think of a use for cold paella.

  6. BNIS,

    Hey, I don’t bank with them. Anyway, that’s retail. The investment people are much better.

    Which is a thing that puzzles me. The Parliamentary Enquiry made it very clear that the cause of the crash (in the UK, at least) was mortgages and houselhold debt — i.e., retail banking. Exotic instruments, for all the publicity at the time, turns out really not. The huge and thoroughly deserved fines against Lloyds last year for their appalling bonus scheme: retail again. Yet the public seem to quite like retail banks. They often talk fondly of local branches. It’s investment banks — the sector which hasn’t screwed thm — which they hate.

    People, eh? Tsk.

  7. I would have read better if you had nutted the fucker when he got in your face. Isn’t his behaviour assault, or at least threatening behaviour? Could you report him to the cops, get him arrested?

  8. Rob,

    My point is that he’s clearly trying to get assaulted. What great publicity that would be for him. And, having been face to face with him now, I am absolutely certain that he’s going to succeed.

  9. Dearieme,

    I actually find it so comfortable on the eyes, I have my Kindle app set that way too. Dark on light is great on paper, but on screen I find it glary. Takes all sorts.

    Anyway, view source, man, view source.

  10. Squander; did Brand bring a rent-a-mob of crusties along with him or was it just him and the film crew?

    Also, apropos of nothing, what time was this on Friday? I work just off Hounditch and was in that boozer next to your cafe of choice on Friday afternoon, and didn’t see nowt.

  11. bloke (not) in spain

    @SQ2
    “People eh”
    There’s a guy complains to me bitterly about the banks. Irresponsible lending. “Toxic debt”. Bail outs by the taxpayer.
    And they won’t lend him cheap money to finance his business. Secured against property to buy more property…

  12. @S2 as above much enjoyed. I must say I am also in the nut the fucker camp. If he was that close you can even make it look an accident (you can certainly bust someone’s nose with a ‘stumbling’ two inch butt). I would love to see that happen, with Kevin Keegan vehemence. Even more, I’d love to hold the twat down and shear him.

  13. Dan,

    Must have been about 2:30. I don’t think he’d brought crusties with him, although young loose women seem to just turn up wherever he goes. He did have a van with an advert on the side. It was done in the style of Crimestoppers, but with bankers instead of criminals. Hilarious.

    You know, part of the reason I hang out on the Net is that I’m a geek who was unpopular at school. Had no idea the company I was keeping was so violent.

  14. The Other Bloke in Italy

    “Had no idea the company I was keeping was so violent.”

    Old Chap, there are a few here who know a little about ultra-violence.

    I am likely to apply for formal residence here, partly to be able to return to pistol and rifle shooting. It had occurred to me before that the wretch Brand might be all the better for a reaming-out with a bronze bore brush. Could civilise him.

  15. Squander Two

    Sheer genius – will be posting to FB and Twitter several times after work this evening – as many others have said, it deserves a wider audience!

  16. >A splendid rant, takes me back to the good old days of British blogging circa 2003-2005.

    You mean the days when the likes of Squander and I were stars? Yes, I miss those days too.

  17. I remember a great quote from the great Chris Morris when he was asked about Michael Moore.

    Moore, he replied, reminded him of lesser known gobshite Mark Thomas whom he described as “a guy who goes around and bullies receptionists”. Bet big Russ felt a glow of inward joy and job-well-done as he harangued the girl on the front desk and the security chaps. Tosser.

    I did see that poxy van when I was hiccuping my way back to the office! Someone should do the decent thing and let Brand know that Rick from the Young Ones was a satirical character.

  18. That was better than anything I’ve ever seen Brand do himself.

    So thankful Russell’s over there with you and not over here with me.

  19. I really don’t understand why anybody takes this Brand character seriously in any way at all.

    Surely he’s just (yet) another self-appointed jumped-motormouth whose ideas are essentially those of the Student Union, and who happens to have a book to sell?

    Isn’t it time we did the old oxygen-of-publicity thing on him?

    Or just point and laugh, but even that is more or less playing his game.

    Just ignore the tosser.

    Please.

  20. @Andrew Duffin

    I hesitate to ruin the thread like this, and I’m not making an entirely serious comparison, but some people laughed at Hitler early on.

  21. bloke (not) in spain

    Andrew Duffin

    “I really don’t understand why anybody takes this Brand character seriously in any way at all.”

    It’s not Brand that’s taken seriously. Left to Brand the act wouldn’t have made it far out of Camden Lock. It’s the relentless promotion by media like the BBC lets him strut the gig so firmly in the public eye.

  22. I think it was a fair exchange S2. He’s deliberately positioned himself to be a political commentator and clearly wants his ‘ideas’ to be taken seriously. I don’t doubt Brands sincerity for a second. But his main flaw is that he doesn’t like anyone challenging him — it obviously winds him right up.

    Luckily for Brand his brand (see what I did there, is that a pun?) of left wing rabble rousing has a Get out of Jail Free card, namely there is this shadowy, omniscient, near demon-like, Powerful Other out there, which wants to silent The Truth. Therefore, anytime someone points out that his ideas are warmed over Trot bollocks, he can turn round and claim to be a martyr for the cause simply speaking truth to power. He’s already got the Jesus hairdo, so it’s obviously a role which he’s keen on.

  23. Interested,

    “I hesitate to ruin the thread like this, and I’m not making an entirely serious comparison, but some people laughed at Hitler early on.”

    Hitler was more like Farage. I don’t mean Farage is evil. I mean that there’s a political class that’s out of touch with what lots of people feel, along comes a new player with ideas that contradicts the groupthink of their friends and families, but for which there’s quite a lot of support.

    Brands views are the other way around. There’s some acceptance of his views in the political class, but out in the world, it’s a few young idiot trots and hardcore Guardian readers and almost no-one else. If Jim Davidson came out with a political statement, would the BBC be interviewing him on Newsnight?

  24. Ooh, I see the blogswarm is starting over at SQ’s place….some Brand fans have turned up and are accusing him of making the whole thing up.

    I’m sure SQ’s a big boy who can look after himself, but hope he’s ready for some nasty personal stuff coming his way, especially as he’s identifiable.

    “They don’t like it up ’em”.

  25. Interested/ The Stigler

    Surely people were laughing at the idea that Hitler could come to power, not at the man himself, at least if it was the latter it would have been sotto voce by 1929 – the Sturmabteilung weren’t big on being laughed at. (Neither were the Communists, which is worth noting when we consider the likes of Richard Murphy and indeed most of the Guardian’s columnists and their reaction to mockery, however gentle)

  26. GlenDorran

    The commenter ‘SpinDrift’ could have walked straight out of the Murphy blog – Look how he seizes on one comment about women and points out it undermines the entire post. Classic Murphy/Owen Jones style argument. Simply emphasizes how excellent the post is!

  27. “Simply emphasizes how excellent the post is!”

    Yes, I’ve read it several times now and it gets better each time. I get very jealous of people who are able to write as well as this. It seems effortless but I know like most skills it takes a lot of hard work and practice.

    And I sincerely hope that there is no nasty fallout for him as a result of the publicity.

  28. I am really quite worried about fallout now. I liked the idea of this getting a few readers, going just viral enough for Brand to read it. Not sure I like this at all. Will be “interesting” to see what’s waiting for me at work tomorrow. I’m hoping just a “Don’t do it again.”

    Honestly, Mark Steyn linked me once, and I got like ten emails. This is insane. Tens of thousands of hits. Fuck.

    I’m quite pleased with the prose, but honestly don’t see why it’s got so big. Just said what plenty of others have said before.

  29. I can see your concern, S2, not all of us are designed for fame. Mr Brand certainly is. On the bright side:

    1) You’re entitled to a personal view, and you stayed away from RBS detail (neither were you actually on the premises)
    2) Mr Brand won’t mind the publicity, it will be something different tomorrow
    3) It is no reflection on current staff or policy to say that RBS couldn’t be held in less esteem than it already is, and if anything you were making the beginnings of a case for the defence (of the new RBS)

    Maybe delete that one you’re doing on Putin.

  30. SQ2:

    I re-read it again (still excellent by the way!) and I think the worst it would get would be a “don’t do it again”. It wouldn’t breach anything in my company’s Social Media Policy (yes, there is one and I imagine it will be just as strict as RBS’s or your own employer’s).

    Remember that most of the negative comments you are getting will be from fired-up 15 year olds, not the wise mature and reasoned types that you get round here. 😉

    Although the bit that upset me most was your reply in the comments where you described yourself as middle aged. I’m about the same age as you, so I did have a moment of quiet introspection.

  31. Heh! I remember my hosting service emailing me to tell me I was getting 10,000 hits per hour and maybe something was wrong, when I discovered a Nigerian newspaper had copied my article and published it, followed by several others. What I had done was specifically permitted in our corporate ethics policies, but did that help me keep my position? Did if fuck.

  32. Love one commenter who suggests ‘doing proper research’ into banking instead of the facts you gathered from the ‘right wing press’.

    Who knew that reading the telegraph gives one enough knowledge to work in a bank!

    That’s definately a comment from a current student rather than someone working.

  33. He’s already got the Jesus hairdo

    True but one can’t help feeling that if Jesus had had that voice, then five loaves and two fishes would have been more than ample to feed those still left on The Mount at lunchtime.

  34. Oh, thanks, Tim. I feel much better now.

    Sorry! But on the bright side, I work for the French. Try arguing policies and principles with them! Whereas your management will be British, and you will likely have better luck.

  35. @S2 – excellent news. Have a pint on me.

    (I can’t reveal my ID by sending you the bunce, but within those constraints I suggest an imaginary pint of Uley Brewery’s fabulous Old Spot.)

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