Minor league stuff

Safer sex

The shrivelling oil price has an unexpected bonus – cheaper and safer sex. A fall in the price of crude should result in cheaper condoms – or at least those made sythentically, from materials such as polyurethane, where the price is determined by the market price for oil.

Sexual lubricants could become cheaper too – as “much of the intimacy product market is still dominated by petrochemical- based products” according to Wendy Strgar, -“Loveologist” at Good Clean Love. Patrick Collinson

Technically true, but there’s an awful lot of stuff that is true but not important. The contribution of the crude oil price to the retail cost of a condom is going to be so small as to not even register on retail prices. Nor even, I would guess, on manufacturer’s profit margins.

25 thoughts on “Minor league stuff”

  1. Maybe I’ve led a very sheltered life, but can you still buy ‘non-synthetic’ condoms? Presumably there’s no real demand nowadays for condoms made from linen, intestines or bladders?

    Or is there a market for ‘natural rubber’ ones?

  2. I’ve definitely led a sheltered life, so… dafuq does anybody need lubricants for?

    Seriously, why? Are they having sexy times with Egyptian mummies?

  3. I haven’t actually read the article, (but that’s never stopped me commenting before), so presumably the loveologist, (incidentally, does one pronounce the e? In other words is it luv-ologist or luvvy-ologist?) from Good Clean Love is bemoaning the fact that evil petro-chemical companies are profiting from safe, affordable, well-lubricated sex.

    Or perhaps the writer is pointing out yet another pitfall in the imminent arrival of Peak Oil. (It’ll be here any day now!)

    Steve, I’m told that anal sex is all the rage now so your comment is probably hate speech or something.

  4. bloke (not) in spain

    I’m not sure about that lubricants thing, taken in conjunction with condoms. There’s pretty sound advice on not mixing petroleum based lubricants & condoms. They really don’t like each other. Hence water based gels with silicone.
    In cherry flavour, I’m told

  5. Steve – it’s another American import. Over on the left pond, some 60% of blokes are missing the tip of their willy. Lubricants are required to compensate.

    Some of that 06% are for religious reasons (it’s de rigeur in both Judaism and Islam), but much of it is just long-standing post-natal hospital practice. Absent any immediate health benefits, the practice is in slow decline: currently around 30% of newborn males in the states get the snip.

  6. Hold on a mo’. We need to know the capital cost of converting the vending machines to the 95p coin.

  7. Absent any immediate health benefits, the practice is in slow decline: currently around 30% of newborn males in the states get the snip.

    In many instances, because their father wants him to “look like me”. Clearly the Annual Father-Son Cock Similarity Pageant is a big event in the American social calendar.

  8. Tim Newman

    A man after my own heart.

    We obviously share the same penchant for Australian foreplay:
    ‘Brace yourself, Sheila, here I come!’

  9. Steve,

    Women who don’t produce much (or anything) in the way of natural lubrication and those who have sex many times in a short period (such as sex-workers) will use artificial lubrication in order to make life easier for themselves.

  10. bloke (not) in spain

    “Over on the left pond, some 60% of blokes are missing the tip of their willy. Lubricants are required to compensate.”

    You might be implying.
    a) American men don’t greatly inspire their women folk
    b)60% of Yanks are w4^^#3rs

    Seems a reasonable hypothesis

  11. Kevin B – Steve, I’m told that anal sex is all the rage now

    I can’t be arsed with that sort of thing.

    Andrew M – that’s another thing I don’t understand. Circumcision is bonkers. I can – sort of – understand why primitive goatherders 1000 years ago might have gotten the idea that God prefers them snipped for some reason. God allegedly said a lot of crazy shit back in the olden days.

    But 30% of American boys are being circumcised? That’s cruel.

    Tim Newman – you win the internet. 🙂

    Clarissa Reveals All – so it’s for the benefit of Wayne Rooney?

    bloke (not) in spain – I’m possibly biased since I’m a weapons-grade cock myself, but if anything American men are nicer on average than we are.

  12. Bloke in Costa Rica

    Surely the greatest line ever uttered on the subject of circumcision was David Lloyd George on Herbert Samuel: “When they circumcised him, they threw away the wrong bit.”

  13. Steve,

    that’s another thing I don’t understand

    Follow the money. Or in this case, follow the sperm. The best theory I’ve read is that mass circumcision prevents men from being cuckolded, since it makes chance encounters less likely to be (reproductively) successful. Or to put it another way, it enforces marriage contracts.

  14. Andrew M – mass circumcision prevents men from being cuckolded, since it makes chance encounters less likely to be (reproductively) successful.

    You have intrigued me.

    How does it make sex less likely to result in babies? If it did, wouldn’t you to expect the practice of circumcision to cause a disadvantage against more fecund uncut tribes?

  15. Steve,

    It’s about intra-tribe competition, not inter-tribe.

    The theory starts from two premises: that circumcised men experience less pleasure, and that they take longer to reach climax. The former implies they would be less likely to go about shagging the neighbour’s wife, and the latter means they’re more likely to be caught. But it is just a theory.

    Other variants suggest that by reducing the amount of casual sex taking place, the tribe’s elders can have greater say over who marries who. If people are freely shagging around, love and shotgun marriages are more common, and the elders aren’t in control.

    Our elders have been trying to control our sex lives since long before the Victorian era.

  16. @Andrew M

    ‘The theory starts from two premises: that circumcised men experience less pleasure, and that they take longer to reach climax. The former implies they would be less likely to go about shagging the neighbour’s wife, and the latter means they’re more likely to be caught. But it is just a theory.’

    But the sexual urge isn’t related to the pleasure of the moment – you don’t think ‘I want to shag that woman because it will make me come’, you want to shag her because that’s your job, per instinct.

    Also, wouldn’t the longer lasting man be more interesting to the neighbour’s wife?

    And if it’s a way to stop casual sex, is it working in the States? There should be some data in the lids vs no lids stakes.

    I think it’s more likely to be related to knob cheese.

  17. “So they want to import the American system of kangaroo courts, no legal training or representation and all the rest?”

    If you’re prepared to import the ugly Americanism “Like that system works so well” it seems a bit much to criticise them on those grounds.

  18. So Much for Subtlety

    JeremyT – “surely circumcision stops desert-dwelling blokes getting sand trapped in their todger-ends.”

    Circumcision was the most commonly performed medical procedure in World War Two (I dimly recall someone telling me over a beer down the pub once, so this must be true). Because in the desert, soldiers got sand places sand was not supposed to go, which got infected which demanded any emergency snip.

    Steve – “I thought it was because Jewish women want 20% off everything.”

    +1 But 20%? Surely they don’t take that much.

    Circumcision is back in vogue because of HIV. There is a link between not getting it if you have had it. I always have mildly wondered whether that is because it works to protect or because the sort of people who do the snip stone single mothers to death and throw gay people off cliffs.

  19. So Much for Subtlety

    I was wondering if there would be a market for non-fossil-fuel based condoms. Something more bio-degradeable and sustainable.

    Then I realised the last thing we need is more f**king vegans reproducing.

  20. Surely condoms would stop them reproducing?

    Accepting the correlated but non-casual conflation of vegans and deep greenies.

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