We’ve discussed this here before

From ancient mead-halls to modern pubs and clubs, it seems mankind has always enjoyed drinking – but the way we talk about alcohol has changed a lot over the centuries.

Whereas once the words ‘drunken’ and ‘inebriated’ sufficed to describe over-indulging, now we resort to elaborate euphemisms such as ‘squiffy’, ‘blotto’ and ‘wasted’.

And in addition to modern slang for drinking, there are a host of now obsolete words once used to describe a heavy binge – the likes of ‘bumpsy’, ‘suckey’ and ‘hit under the wing’.

Can’t recall who it was but the son of a reader here has a routine. To show that you can take pretty much any noun in the language and turn it into a euphemism for being drunk. And people will understand it.

“I got completely trolleyed last night” works anyway. But “I got lawnmowered”, “tractored” and so on and on works just as well.

29 thoughts on “We’ve discussed this here before”

  1. Much of my formative drinking was on holidays in Ireland where ‘locked’ was the word of choice. I never much liked it.. I think you need at least two syalbles.

    My favourite? ‘Cunted’, as introduced by a University pal. Short and sweet, and a fine gateway into the world of creative and non-conventional swearing.

  2. The same applies to breasts as long as you say it in a nudge nudge wink wink, say no more style. Actualul, it doesn’t need to even be a real word, anything will do.

    “Look at the ……. on her, pwoar”.

    Which is why when the PC lot try to amend their newspeak it doesn’t work as our ability to create euphemisms is without limit.

  3. I got absolutely Ritchied last night……

    That sounds like what happens after you indulge too heavily. “I got worstalled last night and then ritchied all over the azaleas when I got home”.

  4. So is one of the readers here Michael McIntyre’s dad?

    My favourite English idiom is “[number] [nouns] short of a [noun]”. You can put anything at all in there, and everyone will still understand it.

  5. I expect that the working classes weren’t saying “I was completely inebriated last night” two hundred years ago. I expect they had their own slang terms for it, they just haven’t survived.

  6. “I got worstalled last night and then ritchied all over the azaleas when I got home”.

    What are the azaleas a euphemism for?

  7. Also works for womens’ lower underwear. Hence, we find “trolley” occurring in both contexts. Apparently when in doubt for a noun, English speakers naturally default to small, unpowered wheeled transport. Because we’re off our trolley.

  8. The same applies to breasts

    No, no, that rule is that the *plural* of any word can be used for breasts. Muffins, melons, hooters, etc. And if you’re giving away those puppies I’ll take the one with the brown nose!

  9. Because we’re off our trolley.

    Apropos of that, is “[I’ll] fix [his] little red wagon” an Americanism or English?

  10. Dolores: What are those assholes doing on the porch?

    Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr: Those aren’t assholes. It’s pronounced *azaleas*.

    – The Man With Two Brains

  11. Then there are place names:

    If I’m feeling a bit vilnius the morning after, I find taking a couple of tallinn tends to help.

  12. The Other Bloke in Italy

    Matthew, I think I first saw the Phrase “Fix his wagon” in Mad Magazine. So, 1960s and probably American.

    Mind you, Americans hung on to old English words and phrases, and I think have returned a few to us.

  13. Does no one say rat arsed any more?

    Mathew L

    A ‘little red wagon’ is a Radio Flyer and we never had them in England coz we wuz poor. We had soap box carts made from whatever you could steal.

  14. What are the azaleas a euphemism for?


    Thus: I got worstalled last night and then ritchied all over the azaleas when I got home and said ‘I don’t remember eating that.’

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