Yes, this will work

The United States should lift its ban on the import of haggis in an attempt to tackle the country’s obesity crisis, a leading medic has said.

All meals should consist of a starting plate of haggis. Those who do not eat their portion cannot have anything else. How can you have any pudding if you don’t eat your haggis?

That’ll cut the nation’s waistlines pretty quickly. The Americans generally just don’t like offal let along haggis.

17 thoughts on “Yes, this will work”

  1. So Much for Subtlety

    It would just be easier to ignore everything the government has ever said about diet, in fact do the exact opposite.

    It would have the same effect and be a lot more enjoyable.

  2. I don’t suppose there is the faintest hope that we can export the nation’s entire stock of the sodding things to the USA by January 25th?

  3. I haven’t clicked the link. Is that the US’s, or Scotland’s, obesity crisis the export ban would help resolve ?

  4. Haggis – from a proper butcher, not the cheapo supermarket shite – is actually delicious.

    Neeps, on the other hand, should be reclassified as atomic waste.

  5. bloke (not) in spain

    ” “The United States government is depriving 24 million American Scots of this wholesome food which satisfies hunger very much more than the junk food Americans consume”

    “The US does not recognise lung tissue as a permissible food stuff”

    Food made out of the bits you throw away would seem the very definition of junk food.

    Lights!

    Even the dogs won’t eat lights.

  6. Bloke in North Dorset

    “Andrew K

    I don’t suppose there is the faintest hope that we can export the nation’s entire stock of the sodding things to the USA by January 25th?”

    Only if you end a couple this way first, I enjoy a good haggis with neaps and tatties now and again. One of the few things I miss since leaving the Army is a decent Burns supper in the Mess.

  7. “The Americans generally just don’t like offal let along haggis.”

    Yeah, and they like everything to be sweet. Like children, really.

  8. I’m surprised the anti TTIP crowd haven’t declared that we would have to ban haggis to standardize with the evil Yankees should it go through.

  9. Americans won’t eat offal? They don’t consider lungs to be food?

    Never eaten an American hot dog then have ya? offal lungs, beaks, bums and other good things, all ground up fine.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *