Fatties, Porkers, Lardbuckets, Yo Momma, Ms. D. Abbott And Jeebus, So *You* Ate All The Pies

Obese people fall into six distinct categories, study suggests.

17 thoughts on “Fatties, Porkers, Lardbuckets, Yo Momma, Ms. D. Abbott And Jeebus, So *You* Ate All The Pies”

  1. Those in the “heavy drinking males” group had above average levels of physical exercise but also had high levels of alcohol consumption.

    Also known as the front row.

  2. So Much for Subtlety

    The only reason to categorise people like this is to tailor messages bullying them properly.

    So we should slap anyone who even mentions it.

  3. So which category do the legions of fat middle-aged women ‘fit’ into? Apart from “middle-aged women”?

  4. SMFS,
    Who are these people constantly bullying you, and how exactly have they affected your everyday life?

    You remain entirely free to be told what to do by the Church of your choice. And to be contradictory.

  5. Bloke in North Dorset

    Another excuse for the public health fascists to get there hands on public money and to tell us all how we should lead our lives, all in the interests of saving the NHS money. Lying bastards.

    cf Chris Snowden’s many posts on this subject as well as Timmy’s.

  6. bloke (not) in spain

    Looking at the guy replenishing his glass & illustrating ‘the “heavy drinking males” group had above average levels of physical exercise but also had high levels of alcohol consumption’ he’s got the physique I’ve often been inclined to envy.
    When it comes to “above average levels of physical exercise” in the way of lifting, pulling, pushing, carrying, diggging etc I’m probably stronger than him but his heft gives him an advantage means I’m straining where he’s little more than coasting.
    Which is your front line of the scrum, isn’t it?

  7. Ian B, I think those categories are not quite correct. The 3 categories are disingenuous cunt, lying cunt and bare – faced lying cunt.

  8. Not so much these days B(n)IS, over-fit forwards are a menace in the modern game.

    The last time I played, I was flattened late on by some cast-iron teenager and sustained 3 cracked ribs. Worse, he had to run about 25 yards to make the tackle, which should have given me time for a crafty fag before off-loading. Unacceptable.

  9. “obese individuals with a body mass index (BMI) of 30 or above.” Oh not again. Lots of studies seem to show (“seem” because it’s all just correlation, of course) that the somewhat obese (BMI 30-35) are healthier on average, and longer living, than the skinny. They are not at much of a disadvantage compared to the “normal”. It’s the “overweight” who do best.

    From which I infer that the definitions are crap, designed – no doubt – to justify all the fun of bullying by the medical Powers That Be.

  10. @ Rob
    There are two groups – “younger healthy females” some of whom just *look* middle-aged, and “unhappy, anxious middle-aged” which is “mainly women with … or …” (the minority includes women without … as well as fat middle-aged men); obese men are almost all lumped into the heavy-drinking category which covers all ages – but some obese middler-aged women could belong to the sixth category of those in poor health.
    Interestingly, apart from the heterogeneous group of “poor health” there is one male group, one purely female, one overwhelmingly female group, and two elderly groups where the majority are female

  11. @Jack C: I played against a buch of military sponsored undergrads whose boss is mad-keen on phys in a recent charity game and, while they were annoyingly nippy around the park, they had no answer for the scrummaging or mauling of our more traditional pack. which is why the nippy buggers kept tha ball as far away from us as possible. Still, better than playing Army teams chock full of Pacific islanders seemingly recruited on the basis of how good they ate at rugby…

  12. TomJ,
    As ever, experience is invaluable. The problem comes when both sides are full of these buggers, and they start running into each other, and/or innocent bystanders.

    “how good they ate at rugby”: is this a typo?

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