Slightly harsh

A leading psychiatrist at the Priory stunned a distressed patient he was treating over her husband’s womanising by telling her: ‘Men aren’t biologically programmed for monogamy,’ it was claimed.

Married father of two Dr Joseph Bray, 57, claimed an expectation of fidelity in marriage was ”unreasonable” and added: ”When my wife dies, I will shag as many women as I can.”

During an crudely worded consultation Bray also used Google to search for pictures of the mistress of the patient’s husband and then made comparisons between the physical appearance of the two women, it was alleged. He also focused in explicit terms on emails the patient found which was sent to her husband by his mistress.

However much truth there is in it all quite possibly not quite what you say to a woman seeking psychiatric help to deal with it all.

Or maybe it is? Perhaps the trick cyclists are being told to reveal harsh truths these days?

The Dublin-born consultant who lives in the New Forest faced being struck off over his alleged remarks towards Mrs A and also an extra marital affair he had with another patient.

I would think the affair with the other patient is the reason he might be struck off.

16 thoughts on “Slightly harsh”

  1. “The truth? You can’t handle the truth!”.

    Not that it’s much of a truth. Women aren’t programmed for monogamy either. If humans were programmed for it, we wouldn’t need morals telling us to be monogamous. “Socially constructed” and all that.

  2. Unless some form of physical sexual assault or unless the therapist suddenly starts talking dirty about his/her fantasies, what is said in a therapy session should not be revealed in public or be a matter for public debate. It might often be needful that the person undergoing the session needs to hear some home truths that they don’t much care for. If whatever is said during what should be a very private hour becomes the matter of public, PC arse kissing debate then we are well down the road to serfdom.

    The shrinks man/woman theories –whatever their merits– sound too generalised to be of much use on an individual basis. The woman might need a more competent therapist. But that is a personal matter–not a matter for media “How dare you say something non-PC in private” bullshit.

  3. There is only one right way to think, and it is the duty of the State to ensure that everyone thinks that way, and only that way.

    Or, the Proggie Sharia as I like to call it.

  4. > what is said in a therapy session should not be revealed in public

    Not by the shrink, no, but it’s the patient’s right of confidentiality, so the patient has the right to waive it. Obviously.

  5. > Proggie Sharia

    Really? A woman goes to a therapist for help because she’s distraught about her husband’s womanising and the therapist shows her pictures of her husband’s mistress, compares them to his patient, and tells her “Well, what do you expect?” Asking for people to show a bit of basic politeness, some professionalism, and not be cunts is “progressive Sharia”? Jesus wept.

  6. Yes–the “patient” has the right to wave confidentiality. And if something of a clearly wrong nature (sexual advances etc) was going on then that would be fine.

    However not liking what is being said is not a reason to go blabbing to the Press (–speaking in moral rather than strictly legal terms). If this woman has–for example- allowed herself to reach 300lb of flab then showing her that she cannot compete with a woman who retains her figure is one of those “home truths” that might be very valuable for some patients. Depends on the character and situation of the patients. Indeed “professionalism” might include being what might be ( by everyday standards of “politeness”) extremely rude to the patient. If you pay money to a professional to help you change, the assumption must be that you want to change. Telling people what they want to hear and what they are already comfortable with will not do the job. Idiots rushing to the Press every time they are offended by words just adds another level of difficulty to the situation.

    I do not know if this woman’s chosen therapist was actually trying a therapeutic gambit or was just a silly sod offering his opinions. But I do know the best and most dignified response she could have made would be to terminate the therapy and try another approach to her problems. Involving the media in personal and domestic matters is rarely helpful

  7. Ecks,

    You clearly haven’t bothered to actually follow the link. The patient hasn’t gone “blabbing to the Press”. The press are reporting on the proceedings of a tribunal, in which the GMC are trying to get this guy struck off.

    > I do not know if this woman’s chosen therapist was actually trying a therapeutic gambit or was just a silly sod offering his opinions.

    No, you don’t. And finding out is just a click away.

    It appears that he was on the pull. Is that a therapeutic gambit?

  8. You are correct -I didn’t read the piece and I should have. In this case he does seem to be at fault. As do I.

    Doesn’t invalidate the general truth of what I said tho’.

  9. Sq2 – He was on the pull? By telling her what a fat porker she is, and ranting on about how much hotter her husband’s new piece on the side is?

  10. Andrew,

    > He was on the pull? By telling her what a fat porker she is, and ranting on about how much hotter her husband’s new piece on the side is?

    He didn’t tell her she was a fat porker. Ecks speculated that he had done so, then admitted he was wrong once he actually read the article. Maybe you should read it too.

  11. So Much for Subtlety

    Ian B – “Women aren’t programmed for monogamy either. If humans were programmed for it, we wouldn’t need morals telling us to be monogamous. “Socially constructed” and all that.”

    Women are certainly programmed differently. Not for monogamy per se but to have the men in their lives think they are. And to deeply resent the other woman

    However monogamy does seem somewhat stable as a policy. In the Middle East, a brief study of the past 1,400 years shows polygamy is highly correlated with divorce. In China the second wife was usually a slave and so had no choice in the matter. We may not take it to it easily, but the alternatives upset us a lot more.

  12. Sq2,

    He went on to make comparisons between the physical appearance of Patient A and the mistress

    I’m assuming they were unflattering comparisons, otherwise they wouldn’t have been raised. But I can see how it could have been flattering comparisons. It’s far from clear.

    Roue,
    Yes, negging is a thing. Seems plausible.

  13. > I’m assuming they were unflattering comparisons, otherwise they wouldn’t have been raised. But I can see how it could have been flattering comparisons. It’s far from clear.

    It was claimed Bray then began complimenting her on her appearance.

    Seems clear enough.

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