Snigger along with George

Now let’s picture the alternative. 170,000 people come to an event that proudly proclaims itself meat- and fish-free. They can choose from hundreds of stalls selling vegetarian and vegan food. There is not a bacon sandwich or a chicken kebab to be found. For five days, vegetarianism and veganism become the norm.

For many people, this might be their first sustained exposure to meat-free food. There would be grumbling, I’m sure. But people would quickly become used to it,

Just the thing for a festival held on an animal rearing farm, don’t you think?

25 thoughts on “Snigger along with George”

  1. Surreptitious Evil

    It’s the usual facism-lite. “I approve of x, therefore you must be forced to x.”

  2. Women should be forced to wear the burka. There would be grumbling, I’m sure. But people would soon get used to it.

    Etc.

  3. Glastonbury doesn’t feature any stalls selling weed or coke, but it’s hardly drug-free. If no meat is sold on-site, revellers will bring their own frozen burgers. The pollution & waste from a hundred thousand portable barbecues will make green eyes weep, while the nurses will have their tents full treating food poisoning.

    This of course will be declared a partial success (like the euro); and the following year they’ll have sniffer dogs to uncover any contraband pork sausages. Someone will snap a photo of a security guard’s boot stamping on a Glasto reveller’s face, and George Monbiot’s vision will live up to his namesake’s.

  4. It’s a a dairy farm threatened by badger borne TB; maybe the noise and disruption discourages the badgers from settling locally.

  5. Would it mean that these saintly beings would no longer leave tonnes of unsightly litter behind for those on minimum wage to clear up after them?

  6. Julia M: one of the perks of cleaning up is you get into the festival for free and pitch your tent before the rest arrive. You also get a free hot meal every day and a large dry tent to hang out in with the other “volunteers” when it’s raining. Not bad considering the refugee conditions of those who pay for the privilege.

  7. “they can choose from hundreds of stalls selling…”

    Yes George, denying people a choice is giving people a choice, well done.

  8. Also, the amusement of the masses should be coopted for the propaganda of the state. Because it’s for your own good. Never mind that Glasto is probably one of the easier places to pitch mass vegetarianism, yet no-one has managed it yet.

  9. Where is Eric Cartman and his Slayer cd when you need him?

    That was a great episode. South Park can be hit or miss, but when they hit they do it well. Drum circle hippies…

  10. I third the motion that Eric Cartman versus the hippies was brilliant. It was full of funny exchanges, like this one:

    STAN – All right. ‘Scuse me. Hello, we are selling magazine subscriptions for our community youth program. Would you like to help young people like us by purchasing a subscription of your choice?

    DRIVER – Oh wow, you guys shouldn’t be doing that. Don’t you know what you’re doing to the world?

    KYLE – Wha- whataya mean?

    MAN 1 – You’re playing into the corporate game! See, the corporations are trying to turn you into little Eichmanns so that they can make money.

    STAN – Who are the corporations?

    WOMAN 2 – The corporations run the entire world. And now they fooled you into working for them.

    STAN – Are you serious?? We never heard that.

    DRIVER – We just spent our first semester at college. Our professors opened our eyes. The government is using its corporate ties to make you sell magazines so they can get rich.

    KYLE – Ugh! Those dirty liars!

    KENNY – (Sonofabitch!)

    MAN 2 – This is a really nice town you have here. That’s why the corporations are trying to use you to take it down.

  11. Steve,

    It’s the denouement that really kills in that episode.

    MAN 2: Right now we’re proving we don’t need corporations. We don’t need money. This can become a commune where everyone just helps each other.

    MAN 1:Yeah, we’ll have one guy who like, who like, makes bread. A-and one guy who like, l-looks out for other people’s safety.

    STAN: You mean like a baker and a cop?

    MAN 2: No no, can’t you imagine a place where people live together and like, provide services for each other in exchange for their services?

    KYLE: Yeah, it’s called a town.

    People talk about stuff like The Daily Show, but South Park is the greatest slayer of sacred cows that there has been in the past few decades.

  12. Georgie Porgie – We are trained in consumption from the first glimmers of consciousness.

    George has kids, so he must know this is bollocks. Little humans don’t need to be trained to consume anything, it’s innate.

    Nobody needs to tell a baby he’s hungry, or a toddler to be interested in toys.

    Wherever we look, we are bombarded by exhortations to develop new, unmet needs; to acquire a hunger that can never be sated.

    As the estimable David Thompson often points out, note the presumptive “we”.

    The aim of advertising, marketing and the media is to create social norms: to ensure that certain suites of behaviour are normalised and naturalised to the degree that they become almost instinctive.

    “It’s like people only do things because they get paid, and that’s just really sad.”

    We are social highly social creatures, perpetually absorbing and reflecting other people’s preferences and conduct. Taking a thousand subliminal cues, making a thousand unconscious adjustments, we seek to fit in, to belong to the tribe.

    Writes the tiresome, reflexively leftwing Guardianista, without a trace of self awareness.

    An advertisement encouraging people to fly with your airline is deemed non-political, and therefore within the rules set by the Advertising Standards Authority. An advertisement seeking to discourage people from flying because of its environmental impacts is likely to be judged political, and therefore unacceptable. “Political” means challenging the status quo.

    In the real world, millions of pounds of taxpayer money is spent on frightening children and hectoring adults over their “carbon footprint”.

    Non-political means supporting the status quo, however unjust and destructive it may be.

    It’s “unjust” and “destructive” to get on a plane. Does Polly know? Presumably she doesn’t fly to her Tuscan villa on a cloud of her own self-righteousness.

    Festivals provide a chance to reach people that might arise nowhere else, and none exemplify this opportunity as Glastonbury does.

    Hey kids! Put down your iPads and stop watching Kanye. Uncle George is going to lecture you on the importance of eating lentils. Like, far out, man! Right?

    There we were, at a festival of peace and light and beauty, that seeks to promote an enhanced awareness of the world and our place in it, surrounded by people stuffing industrially-produced meat into their faces. There were hundreds of stalls selling bacon sandwiches, sausages, steak baguettes, fried chicken and dozens of other ways of eating animals. Meat-eating on a massive scale is normalised here as it is almost everywhere.

    Omnivores in meat eating shocker!

    All this strongly reinforces the subliminal message that the daily consumption of meat or fish is normal and inconsequential.

    Eating meat or fish is normal, you retard. We aren’t cows or sheep. Well, I’m not – Georgie knows his own parentage better than I do.

    George proceeds to pleasure himself with a courgette:

    Now let’s picture the alternative. 170,000 people come to an event that proudly proclaims itself meat- and fish-free. They can choose from hundreds of stalls selling vegetarian and vegan food. There is not a bacon sandwich or a chicken kebab to be found. For five days, vegetarianism and veganism become the norm.

    For many people, this might be their first sustained exposure to meat-free food. There would be grumbling, I’m sure. But people would quickly become used to it, just as they become used to much greater privations, such as the toilets and the mud. And, for some, the new norm might stick. Once people have tried a Thai vegetable curry or a vegetarian Lebanese mezze or a vegan burrito for the first time, they might seek it out again. They might even come to see the constant guzzling of meat as disgusting.

    Or they might think: “you want me to pay £220 for a ticket, but won’t let me eat a hot dog? Fuck you, George! Fuck you right in your giant, hairy nostrils, you beady-eyed, Milhouse-looking twat.”

  13. The Stigler – People talk about stuff like The Daily Show, but South Park is the greatest slayer of sacred cows that there has been in the past few decades.

    The rainforest, the underpants gnomes, Cartman fighting a midget, Lemmiwinks, Timmy (and the Lords of the Underworld)… no other show on TV has ever been quite as hilariously daring.

  14. ” 170,000 people come to an event that proudly proclaims itself meat- and fish-free.”

    Lots of luck with that one Georgie–maybe you could crowd-fund it?

  15. The Other Bloke in Italy

    I look in at Vox Day’s and David Thompson’s gaffs, as well as here. On a good day, I am served three helpings of Steve, and get fat and happy.

  16. TBH, I usually go voluntarily veggie from veggie-only vendors at festivals anyway; preparing food hygienically is easy to get wrong at the best of times, let alone if it involves meat and the limited washing facilities of a trailer on a festival site.

  17. The Other Bloke in Italy – this is why my book is titled All You Need Is Steve: The Steve Story, by Steve 🙂

  18. Bloke in Costa Rica

    There’s no point in engaging anyone like Mongbiot who’s managed to elevate moral preening to the level of a religious creed. They’re not receptive to arguments or the idea that not thinking like them is still a morally acceptable thing to do. All that can be done is to grab them by the lapels and shout in their faces “FUCK. OFF. YOU. SANCTIMONIOUS. CUNT.” If they persist in their nonsense then, and then only then, are you allowed to headbutt them and then hoof them in the knackers as they go down.

    Bacon and eggs for brekkie for me.

  19. The man, or woman, who invents a vegetarian, and properly convincing, bacon-free bacon substitute shall gain the earth, and everything in it,

  20. Surreptitious Evil

    this is why my book is titled All You Need Is Steve: The Steve Story, by Steve 🙂

    Citation needed 😉

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