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Must have been the pig’s head

I met Cameron just after he came down from Oxford. Was at a Tory party drinkies thing at a friend’s house. Took me about 30 seconds to realise that I didn’t like Cameron. Just not my type at all:

Thus far, Call me Dave, the unauthorised and unfriendly biography of David Cameron has raised more questions than it answers. Did the Prime Minister ever take cocaine? Did he break a solemn promise to a former ally? Did he really do that with a pig?

Cocaine I’ve no idea about for Cameron although it was rife in that milieu and at that time. And the pig’s head? Also not my sort of party so I don’t know. Now I’d dislike him if he had, back then I probably would have disliked him if he hadn’t.

So your gossip report isn’t very interesting. After all I only met him for 2 minutes at a drinkies. But it was interesting that even then, just down, he was being talked up as the next big thing. Definitely the star guest at that constituency party.

37 thoughts on “Must have been the pig’s head”

  1. The funny thing about all this is the collateral trolling of the loonies.

    All the documented dodginess around the Jezziah, the paedo scandals around Labour and so on – right-wing smears.

    A frankly ridiculous and non-credible story about CMD and a pig’s head and suddenly it’s all “pinch me I’m dreaming, squeeeeeeeee!”

    But then if you’re dumb enough to be taken in by Marxism…………….

  2. abacab

    Indeed. The same Twitter morons who’ve spent the summer shouting ” we don’t do personal” are jumping up.and down about this non-story.

  3. He might have fucked a pig, but at least he didn’t appoint it to the Shadow Cabinet.

    On the drug use, there’s quite a good point made in this column:

    http://publicaddress.net/hardnews/on-youthful-indiscretions/

    To have (allegedly) fucked a dead pig is weird and politically damaging – but quite legal. To have taken recreational drugs as a youth is both common and commonly accepted, even in political leaders – but a potentially life-blighting criminal offence if you’re unlucky enough to be caught at the time. Perhaps we should look at that.

  4. Once all the “squeeeee” has gone out of this, if the Tories aren’t as dumb as they used to be (and might still be) they’ll turn this back on them. Questioning the judgement of people who believe such nonsense, and how this meshes with their ideas for governance, philosophy etc.

  5. abacab: I’m sure he did do it. The real question isn’t “did he”, it’s “who the fuck cares”. Which uni student hasn’t waggled his todger in or around somewhere inappropriate at some point?

  6. @Theo,

    I reckon Ashcroft’s working on the basis that he can utterly smear CMD and the damages imposed by the court (or the settlement) will be a drop in the ocean of his £1bn fortune, so will be worth it.

    A criminal conviction for libel might not be so funny, but I reckon he thinks he can buy his way out of a private prosecution like that.

  7. This did make for some fun gags yesterday. My favourite was about Jeremy Corbyn at tomorrow’s PMQs…” I have a question sent to me by Peppa – should she be afraid?”

  8. “@Matthew L: why so sure?”

    Because I don’t think it matters. To be honest, it sounds like quite a jovial night all round. If it lowered my opinion of Cameron in any way, shape or form I’d probably look harder for a reason why it might not be true.

  9. Anyway, if sticking your cock in a pig’s mouth was so politically damaging, why did Bill Clinton survive impeachment?

  10. “Anyway, if sticking your cock in a pig’s mouth was so politically damaging, why did Bill Clinton survive impeachment?”

    Because if the dems didn’t have double-standards, they’d have no standards at all (pace PJ O’R)…

    But you’re right – actually even if it did happen it doesn’t change my opinion of him, or diminish him compared to the Jezziah.

  11. Matthew L – “He might have fucked a pig, but at least he didn’t appoint it to the Shadow Cabinet.”

    You magnificent bastard.

  12. It’s from a single, anonymous source, so it doesn’t have much credibility.

    One the other hand, it sounds exactly like a slightly posher version of the things I used to get up to at Uni in the 80’s, so it does have some credibility.

  13. Tel – medical students (used to?) get up to much worse. Nicking corpses to liven up their parties. Sewing human penises to their white coats as a surprise. The sort of thing Jeffrey Dahmer would’ve loved.

    I wouldn’t be surprised if a posh student dining club named after Edward II’s toy boy was a bit louche.

    I think the real lesson here is, when a billionaire bankrolls your political success, you shouldn’t throw him under a bus the minute he attracts a bit of bad PR.

  14. >Tel – medical students (used to?) get up to much worse. Nicking corpses to liven up their parties. Sewing human penises to their white coats as a surprise. The sort of thing Jeffrey Dahmer would’ve loved

    Yes, I know, I was at college with plenty of med students and even performed in a med revue despite not being a med student.

    Since the 90s, however, Unis have become tamer and tamer. There are still pockets of craziness, but the average student is a far more docile creature nowadays.

  15. The problem with this claim is that there is no double independent sourcing, which is (or ought to be) the very minimum industry standard for such tittle-tattle. The excerpts from the Mail yesterday spoke of one source and added that there was a photo of the incident. If it exists, let’s see it.

    I suspect it is the same sort of photo as was said to exist of two male Tory ministers of yesteryear in flagrante delicto, i.e., a photo that doesn’t actually exist. That photo, said to be in a safe in the News of The World in the Wapping fortress, was an urban myth, just as was the claim that Prince Andrew was an incurable romantic and just as is this fantasy about Dave.

    The more damaging claims in Ashcroft’s book concern Dave’s twisting about Ashcroft’s non-com status. These have been slightly overshadowed by the pig stuff. Bit of an own goal really.

  16. I remember someone at university putting cow’s eyes in bowls of the ladies’s lavatories. The shrieks of disgust were very audible. By contrast, putting red ink in the cistern of urinal flush resulted only in worried frowns on the men’s faces.

  17. I was “up” at the turn of the millenium. And knowing how much more masculine the environment was supposed to have been 15 years earlier, I struggle to believe that there was anything going on “willies out” that wasn’t just plain vanilla streaking.

    Let alone a supposed sex act with witnesses and a carcass.

  18. I think my opinion of the little sh!t would go up a bit if true.

    But, you know, photos or it didn’t happen

  19. Redacto,

    Yes, the photo doesn’t exist. We’re being asked to believe that someone has such a photo of a man who’s been PM for six years and was obviously going to be PM for a few years before that, and is so fiercely loyal to him that he’s made sure the photo never sees the light of day but hasn’t destroyed it. Or the photo is owned by someone intending to use it against Cameron but hasn’t got around to it yet. Because why? They’re waiting till he has a really important job before damaging his career?

    Tel,

    God, yeah, medical students. They must be reading this story and thinking “What, is that all?”

    I knew a medical student who once tied a corpse’s intestines to a tap and sprayed its shit all over her class. Now a respected pillar of the community.

  20. @S2 – quite.

    As I said to our latest Corbynsniffer Poursuivant in relation to a supposed “Hang Mandela” poster, everything that actually exists in the hands of someone who wishes to damage CMD (or simply wants cash and wishes to sell it to a left-wing rag for mucho dinero) has had ample chance to come out – 1x leadership contest, 2xGE’s have passed.

    Ergo, the photo does not exist and Ashcroft is just acting the jilted lover here.

  21. We have to conclude too that whoever has that photo has refused to hand it over to Ashcroft in return for the sort of money Ashcroft was willing to offer. Nothing I’ve seen of Cameron persuades me that anyone would do that for him.

  22. @S2,

    Again, quite. And nobody is ideological enough on the Tory side to not hand it over in the interests of the Party or of the Cause* when there is the prospect of Scrooge McDuck quantities of filthy lucre to be had for selling it to the Grauniad.

    * To be contrasted with the Obama/Khalidi tapes that the SF Post are hanging on to so as not to damage their man there….

  23. Camoron is, practically speaking, a far more dangerous leftist turd than Jezza. They are both middle-upper class scum who hate this country but Blueballs is on site and actively engaged in damaging us and whatever future we may have. Unless we are very unlucky Jezza will never get that chance (fingers crossed). If it helps to destroy the BluLab turd so much the better.

    Great Redacto:” The problem with this claim is that there is no double independent sourcing, which is (or ought to be) the very minimum industry standard for such tittle-tattle.”

    You really must be joking. With all the shite heaped on poor old Jimmy Savile ? “Oh yes my fellow nurses and I saw him having sex with corpses in the hospital morgue as early as 1966–but we didn’t tell anybody cos he was a sleb and nobody would have believed us like”

    Not to mention the hearsay horseshit that has Rolf and Stuart Hall looking at death in jail.

  24. That photo, said to be in a safe in the News of The World in the Wapping fortress

    Alas, that is in the process of being demolished now: my Dad lives right next door.

  25. @ Tim Newman. Yeah. Gone completely. Flats going up, meaning the quiet cobbled roads of Wapping will be a lot busier. Uncle Rupert’s businesses relocated to Thomas More Square, St Katharine Docks, for a year or two (during which the NoTW was canned) and are now in a v plush location in London Bridge.

  26. I’m with S2 on this – its a piss poor act of revenge to wait until your enemy has been leader of his party for over 10 years, PM for over 5 years, just won an election outright, and is going to stand down in a few years time anyway.

    We could all do with arch-nemeses like that.

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