Right now, in London

LHTD: Jeremy, my congratulations on such a stunning win!

Jezza: Thank you, thank you, I will repay the faith put in me.

LHTD: We are one world now, you’re saying what I believe

Jezza: Yes, yes, indeed I have been. Your, umm, ideas, on tax were very useful, and that PQE stuff, they swallowed it hook line and sinker.

LHTD: Could we have a little chat about what might be my position for actually bringing it all about?

Jezza: What? You mean you actually believe all this tosh?

LHTD: But, I’m to run the Office of Tax Responsibility aren’t I? Or something grander? Shadow Chancellor?

Jezza: Richard, won’t your charitable donors miss you?

LHTD: But, but, the peerage!

Jezza: Goodbye Richard…..

(I hear on the grapevine that Richie has actually been predicting a peerage and Shadow Cabinet membership within weeks. Sadly, could actually happen.)

38 thoughts on “Right now, in London”

  1. Plus the Politburo (economy) would have Danny (5 million unemployed) Blanchflower, that guy from York uni & his 93bn business benefits & sundry other nutters presiding over tractor production as the tumbleweeds blow through London & refugees from the UK queue at the Syrian border.

  2. However daft Corbyn might be, I simply cannot imagine him employing Murphy in any capacity. What actually happens with Ritchie will probably serve as a useful barometer of just how disastrous Corbyn will be for Labour.

  3. I couldn’t imagine Murphy surviving in a Shadow Cabinet position for very long. He wouldn’t be able to avoid hostile questions from the media and wouldn’t be very good at dealing with them. He would also have to compete with all the MPs, union bosses and party officials who were vying for the leader’s attention and he would frequently be outmanoeuvred by more experienced political operators. He may want it now but I suspect he’d actually find it a miserable experience.

  4. You sit and look and wonder.

    Even my dog learns faster than humans.

    All those (and there are lot more out there) cheering him on actually believe in the ‘solutions’ that brought us the 20th Century and so many failed countries. Now we have Greece and Venezuela to inspire us. Yeah, way to go!

    His manifesto is a laughable vacuous wishlist

    But he doesn’t drink (hmmm) and is just so reasonable when he talks.

    Like me, in my days as a contract killer, I always said there was nothing personal in it. Never shouted, was always reasonable about it.

    But never mind, even university graduates are gonna buy it! All my leftie friends are surely juicing their knickers at this very moment.

    Lordy, lordy, am I glad I live in Bilbao (well, just outside actually)
    and not in the UK.

    Comedy is always better with a little distance.

    Incidentally is Billy Bunter really as obnoxious as he looks and people infer?

  5. Sadly? Given the general condition of the upper chamber, he’d fit right in. Saying that, the expenses he’d draw would indeed be depressing, so maybe you’re right.

  6. BB, you were a contract killer, too! Small world!

    Were you a send-a-message type, or a make-it-look-like-an-accident type?

  7. @Max

    Have you read the £93bn subsidy report.

    It includes, for example, the reduced rate of VAT on energy as a multibillion subsidy to business.

    Wonderful bonkers.


  8. ” Richie has actually been predicting a peerage and Shadow Cabinet membership within weeks”

    But what about his principled opposition to an unelected House of Lords? Surely a furry coat isn’t enough to buy him off?

    Think that someone should do a condensed “Ragging on Richie” and send it on to all the major journalists, with Andrew Neil top of the distribution list.

  9. Perhaps we can get Rowan Atkinson to send Ritchie Edmund Blackadder’s robes of state… You know, the ones made of finest, leather-trimmed ermine with gold medallion accessories.

    Murphy would look good wearing Emma Hamilton’s pussy, methinks.

  10. I’m betting he’ll be lucky to score an occasional SPAD role.

    He provided a ready made economic policy package at short notice, as Jerry didn’t have one to hand. It’s expediency that got him this far, no more: like a shit builder that gets called out in the middle of the night to make safe storm damage, but loses the tender for proper remedial works in the cold light of the day after the deluge.

    Corbyn knows he needs a Blanchflower or Krugman as Shadow Chief Secretary to the Treasury, and Chance range is a political post. This week is peak Murphy

  11. From C4 News (https://www.facebook.com/Channel4News/videos/10153177216086939/)

    “I don’t think there should be any more appointments to the House of Lords at all… we should have an elected upper chamber”

    Jeremy Corbyn says that if elected leader of the Labour party he would “see no case” for nominating Labour peers.

    I seriously doubt he’ll do such a rapid U-turn just for Richie. Maybe he could make him the PPC for South West Norfolk.

  12. I see that Jezza wants to be our voice at PMQ

    “My questions will be questions”.

    Bottle of single malt for the first person to get an unusual one planted and proven.

  13. @Matt W

    I read some of it & a summary somewhere. It really is complete nonsense.

    I despair that people who write this rubbish are lecturers and/or professors (Ha!) teaching our young people.

  14. History is full of firebrands who, given some measure of responsibility and power, had to row back. Will JC turn out to be Hitler or Ramsay Macdonald, or Spiras or Lloyd George? Hint, only one carried his views into power.

  15. “Is Billy Bunter as really as obnoxious as he looks and people infer?” Come on bilbaoboy, this is no way to talk about Timmy.

  16. Not sure a Murphy peerage would get by the honours committee, but it might. More likely, he’ll become a part-time adviser to the Great Leader.

  17. I put forward my suggestion for his question;

    In light of Venezuela deporting 20000 long term Colombian residents, when is the UK government going to speed up repatriations of failed immigrants to the UK? 😀

  18. @theoldgreenfathead

    that was a jolly good try. The reference, though, was probably to the fat thug who now has the task of assembling a parliamentary opposition to the government.

    From being pretty much the last person one would choose he is now pretty much the only prospect.

  19. Sad truth is, at least my guess at it, people are so easily taken in by econwibble that tells them what they want to hear, that plenty of people will see RM as bold thinker being attacked by the establishment, he can go far.

    I haven’t spent as much time as I ought following the goofballs that doubtless give econ advice to credulous right wing pols. I assume they exist too.

  20. “I haven’t spent as much time as I ought following the goofballs that doubtless give econ advice to credulous right wing pols. I assume they exist too.”

    *Timmy waves hello!*

  21. Monday is going to be crap for me. One of my colleagues is a proper lefty and has been praying for a Corbyn victory. I have pointed out that Corbyn is being advised by the economic equivalent of the local homeopathist but I was quickly told off for not understanding that the way personal finances are managed is different to how the finances of a country are managed.

    On the plus side, with Jezza in charge of the Labour party, I will not actually have to worry about Ritchie actually being given the keys to the economy and invited to have a jolly spin. I just have to put up with the left-wing karaoke brigade with their calypso renditions of the internationale.

  22. Salamander: Stop fucking around with these turds. Tell them point-blank that they are brazen supporters of a scum creed that has murdered 200 million human beings in the last 100 years alone and spoiled the lives of millions more.

    If the fists fly so much the better.

  23. Saying the govt budget is not like a household budget is the lamest gambit from the left-wing economics playbook there is. People should not attempt to balance a household budget. Those small numbers that do balance month to month are absolute basket cases with no savings, and no secured borrowings, just one pay or welfare cheque away from not having money for the electric meter.
    Governments that balance budgets to within a % are powerhouses with the flexibility to respond to genuine crises.

  24. Edward L.
    If I told you I’d have to ki…… Sorry, sorry. I keep forgetting I’m retired!

    I’d never diss our genial host in that way. He allows all sorts on to the premises and lets them play. He deserves our admiration and thanks.

    Check out what the Bison says although I suspect you knew to whom (that ‘whom’ sort of ages me, right?) I was referring all along.

  25. “It includes, for example, the reduced rate of VAT on energy as a multibillion subsidy to business”

    So Jezza wants domestic fuel taxed at 20% not 5%? Interesting. Not exactly a vote-winner.

  26. Ken Livingstone talking bollocks in the G about what Corbyn will do for us actually had one insightful thing to say:

    ‘ upgrade our broadband to match the speed you get in the Far East, ‘

    Hahahaha having travelled all over the ‘far east’ I can tell you internet speeds are fucking shit almost everywhere. Clueless twat.

  27. Dongguan John,

    “Hahahaha having travelled all over the ‘far east’ I can tell you internet speeds are fucking shit almost everywhere. Clueless twat.”

    I understand that South Korea has good speeds, because they build houses and flats with fibre to the home (which is a very sensible and cheap thing to do when building a house).

    That said, beyond about 5mbps is pretty moot for home use anyway. Movies stream at 2-3mbps. If you’ve got a 50mbps pipe, you’ll still get movies at 2-3mbps. Downloading PC games (Portal 2: 11GB) is about the only time I wish I had a faster connection. I had to play it the following evening instead of when I started downloading (the horror!)

  28. Theophrastus:
    “Not sure a Murphy peerage would get by the honours committee”

    I have a nasty feeling that’s why he’s hastily arranged to be made a part-time Professor; gives him more credibility with the honours committee.

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