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Scientists claim women are cack handed


Women shouldn’t apply their make up on the train as a sudden jolt could mean that they scratch their corneas, experts have warned


Umm, yeah.


Applying lipstick to your lips might scratch your cornea.


Tomorrow, how applying underarm deodorant could produce earache.

14 thoughts on “Scientists claim women are cack handed”

  1. Women shouldn’t apply makeup on the train for the same reason men shouldn’t shave on the train – it’s awfully uncouth.

  2. My wife has a wonderful story of a woman on a bus in Japan putting on lipstick. A sudden jolt of the bus drove the lipstick into a nostril and she couldn’t get it out!

  3. They would have to be farting about with their eyelashes, mascara etc to be anywhere near their eye. On a moving train. What kind of female fool would do that?

  4. It’s not just on a train. The number of women I see doing their make-up whilst driving (not just stopped at lights) is scary.

  5. What sort of women would do that?
    Any women.
    I’ve seen them touching up the eyeliner whilst driving.
    Totally different set of priorities.

  6. Bah, that’s nuffin. Girls in Bangkok apply their makeup sitting side sadle on a motorbike taxi threading through traffic.

  7. Mr Ecks

    You have obviously never taken a train, tube, bus or tram in the morning rush hour. I once saw a girl apply false eye lashes between Harrow and Wembley Central.

  8. Painting their nails is the worst. The smell of the filthy brew they use simultaneously gives me a headache and makes me want to throw up.

  9. Rob

    For me the smell of the acetone they use to remove nail polish, even while strap hanging on a crowded tube and playing candy crush, is worse.

  10. @ Rob
    When I went back to commuting in my 40s, I soon adopted the practice of doing so on an empty stomach. [My office had a drinks machine so, on arrival, I drank two beakers of black coffee to stimulate the conversion of brown fat to blood sugar]

  11. Diogenes:

    It might be nail stripper, now you mention it. The same method of application. I’m too busy gagging and passing out to notice the subtle difference between application and removal.

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