You would, wouldn’t you? If you could…..

Err:

History was made at New York Fashion Week today when a group of stunning models of all shapes and sizes took to the catwalk to model a collection of lingerie designed by plus-size model and body-positive campaigner Ashley Graham.
The size 16 model, 28, debuted her latest lingerie line for Canadian retailer Addition Elle on Tuesday afternoon, by both starring in and running the show alongside a cast of her fellow curvy models.

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Not so much:

As the young models paraded one after another down the runway, they all seemed to share the same two identical physical traits.
1) They were painfully thin.
2) They looked painfully miserable.
This is the precise Victoria Beckham look, of course.

Yes, I apologise for quoting Piers Morgan.

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As better people than me have said:

Helen Archer, an official woman, said: “This is the culmination of years of determined struggle against a male dominated culture that enslaves women and demands they conform to a perfect ideal of sexual attractiveness.”

But Nathan Muir, a completely normal person in every way from Hatfield, stressed: “What the hell are you talking about?

“She’s a cracker and I can say with cast-iron certainty that if I, or any of my friends, were lucky enough to be on top of her you would need a crane to get us off.”

Martin Bishop, a remarkably ordinary human from Doncaster, said: “The girl with the hips, the magnificent knockers and the warm, happy face… or the arrogant, sulky angle-poise lamp who spends half her life in the bog?

“I’ll be honest, I don’t listen to women all that much but from what I can gather the debate is, essentially, about attractiveness and therefore it is reasonable to assume that I, as a man, am the one who is supposed to be attracted.

“We keep saying it until we are blue in the face – for the love of god, please gain some weight because we do not want to have sex with someone who looks like a 12 year-old boy.”

 

33 thoughts on “You would, wouldn’t you? If you could…..”

  1. So Much For Subtlety

    “The girl with the hips, the magnificent knockers and the warm, happy face… or the arrogant, sulky angle-poise lamp who spends half her life in the bog?

    Well sure. But those plus sized models are in danger of moving from what men think plus sized means (say, Kelly Brook) to what women think plus sized means (think Dawn French).

    Given the incredible levels of obesity in British women we ought to encourage Victoria Beckham making them feel miserable about being too fat. Because it is not as if many of us are at risk of sleeping with a girl who looks like a 12 year old boy. There are probably only six of them in the entire United Kingdom. We are at risk of being stuck with a woman who looks like a pygmy hippopotamus.

  2. While the first model could do with toning those thighs a tad, the last three need force-feeding urgently. They look like they’d snap if you tried to do anything energetic with them.

  3. “We are at risk of being stuck with a woman who looks like a pygmy hippopotamus.”

    Diane Abbott, for example.

  4. This is the culmination of years of determined struggle against a male dominated culture that enslaves women and demands they conform to a perfect ideal of sexual attractiveness.

    So rather than have men decide what they like, better to have a woman tell men what they ought to like.

    Yeah, that’ll work. Plus, what SMFS said.

  5. I’ve always thought if you want to see what women want to look like go to a catwalk, and if you want to see what men want women to look like go to a strip club.

  6. Tim N, that’s from the Mash. The rest of the quote is a bit of a clue?

    Ah, my bad. But in my defence, satire is becoming very difficult to spot these days, especially on topics such as this.

  7. It is pleasing to see the Progressives encouraging “plus size” models, especially when the same Progressives via their shock troops in “Public Health” condemn them as obese.

  8. Horses for courses. The fashion industry is selling frocks, not sex, and clothes look their best – hang better, on a clothes-hanger-like models. Conversely someone recently did a Photoshop on a number of paintings such as Botticelli’s Birth of Venus, substituting waifs with gangly legs, and it was not a pretty sight – the Rubensesque women appearing the more attractive.

  9. This is such bullshit. Who selects the models? Gay designers.

    Girls who look like 12 year old boys – see above?

    Also the models are clothes hangers – literally and metaphorically.

  10. “because we do not want to have sex with someone who looks like a 12 year-old boy”

    The fashion world is run by gay men. When choosing their models, they’ll always err towards boyish-looking ones. Hence where we are.

  11. I suspect most men would be fine with any of them, TBH.

    Or as my kids say when offered a choice of puddings: “BOTH!”

  12. 1% of men prefer girls with fat legs, 1% prefer girls with skinny legs and 98% prefer something in-between. Haven’t heard that one for a long time.

  13. “… body-positive campaigner Ashley Graham”… who realises that there are a lot of fat birds out there and wants to sell them a bunch of expensive ‘sexy’ undies.

  14. The lady in No1 and No2, definitely. The rest, not so much. Sharp elbows and that.

    Come Olympic time, I look at the thighs of the lady speed skaters and wonder “what would that be like”? Sadly, I’ll never know.

  15. Most of that is just feminist bullshit.

    “model a collection of lingerie designed by plus-size model and body-positive campaigner Ashley Graham.”

    Right – there’s a market for large underwear. Bravissimo in the UK is basically a company that realised that women’s breasts were getting larger, and the rest of the market wasn’t doing a good job for them (the rest of the market is now catching up with them). So, Ashley Graham is basically a capitalist (yay). A model that would like more work, and campaigning might help that, and someone who can flog underwear based on her campaigning.

    “The campaigns are running in the midst of controversy incited by Victoria Beckham’s latest runway show, which social media users dubbed the ‘show of skeletons’.”

    Ashley Graham’s stuff isn’t some triumph over the patriarchy blah blah. It’s just that clothes look better (for buyers) on the smallest wearers of them and she sells plus-sized clothes and so needs plus-sized models, and even then, these aren’t fatties (look at the muscle). And they’re at the low end of plus-sized – the rakes of the plus-sized world.

    Fashion models are just about showing off the clothes, and thin ones do that better than fat ones. It’s just simple capitalism.

  16. The purpose of fashion models is to make the clothes look good. If the model is too attractive, you’re paying attention to the model and not the clothes.

    If I were doing a clothes-design competition, I’d have a group of models and then get all the designer to design for those models. If you had lots of different body shapes – including fat women, pear-shaped women, etc – then you pose the challenge of making those women look good through better clothing.

    There are lots of women who aren’t good-looking; if there are clothes that can make a fat, middle-aged woman look better, then there should be a lot of money in selling them.

  17. A fair whack of the males who design women’s clothes have never wanted to have sex with a woman. They’re designing clothes to fit their dream boyfriend. When you understand that, you understand why skeletal women are modeling… they look like epicine young men.

  18. Oh, FFS.

    If ladies what star in pr0n looked like catwalk models she might have a point. They tend to what men see as ideal body form.

    Top Tip for the hard of thinking – they don’t look anything at all like catwalk models. Anyway, catwalk models are not athletic enough to do that kind of work anyway, what with being fed on half a Ryvita per day an’all.

  19. A fair whack of the males who design women’s clothes have never wanted to have sex with a woman. They’re designing clothes to fit their dream boyfriend. When you understand that, you understand why skeletal women are modeling… they look like epicine young men.

    That to a certain degree, but the clotheshanger point is a major attraction: it’s relatively easy to design clothes to hang well on a hanger and look good, and the collarbone of a waif-like anorexic is a good mobile approximation.

    And if they’re looking sour, well, you would if you were voluntarily on little more than starvation rations and had a blood sugar level constantly somewhere in the Marianas trench.

  20. Fat girls are like mopeds: they can be a lot of fun, as long as your friends don’t see you.

    And what zactly is a “body-positive campaigner?”

    BWTM . . . On Fashion Police (E! Network), the late, and missed, Joan Rivers would walk around back stage at fashion shows with a plate of sandwiches, begging the girls to eat one.

    “Get on your bikes and ride.”

  21. Richard Gadsden – “There are lots of women who aren’t good-looking; if there are clothes that can make a fat, middle-aged woman look better, then there should be a lot of money in selling them.”

    Of course fashion designers started out making clothes for women of a certain age who were past their prime. But there is no money in it now. High end fashion got taxed out of existence by the welfare state. It is too much of a luxury good. None of the fashion houses make money out of clothes. They make money out of the mass produced cheap stuff they can sell with a massive mark up. Perfume is a good example – pennies to make, sells for hundreds of pounds. Handbags. T-shirts. Anything they can put their logo on. That is where the money is.

    Fashion shows are just a cheap form of advertising for them now. They have to maintain the brand and they have to get on the TV. So they continue to hold them. But they may even lose money doing so.

  22. TO me those models don’t look like 12 year old boys. They look like they were taken from Bergen-Belsen and someone continued to make cruel fun of them by making them wear silly rags.

    (OK, I admit, this time the clothes weren’t completely awful, but usually they are.)

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