Sadly, there’s a bit of a deal breaker here

dealbreaker

Hmm:

A same sex couple are looking for a sperm donor, so they can start a family.
Ashleigh Habgood and Alley Williams from Auckland, New Zealand, have specific requirements for the kind of man who is to be the father of their child, and have taken to Facebook to find their perfect donor.
He has to be a “cool dude” who is taller than them, doesn’t want to be a dad

OK so far:

“If I could smoosh Alley’s freckles and everlasting positivity with my extreme good looks, intelligence and undeniable modesty, then I would,

Freckles, positivity, extreme good looks, massive intelligence, yup, that’s for me and at 6 ft, almost certainly taller. Even the modesty part.

However:

…and the procedure will be conducted by a doctor.

Hmm, what say we try the draught method. Repeatedly? Until we get it right?

Promise I’ll try to get it right quickly. Really….and of course that would happen more quickly if both were to help I can’t help noting.

24 thoughts on “Sadly, there’s a bit of a deal breaker here”

  1. I’m pretty sure that there are things called ‘Sperm Banks’ where they could obtain sperm if they wanted.
    Any man that’s stupid enough to volunteer should make sure he gets a cast-iron contract so he’s not on the hook for the kid financially.

  2. I’m not sure why they can’t just shag a bloke who ticks the boxes.

    Lie there, watch TV while it’s going on, whatever. Doesn’t need to take long. They don’t need to look at each other.

    Is it that bad? Can it be any worse than getting an injection? Seems a tiny price to pay if they really want the baby.

    If they find it too icky/gross and they’re not willing to put themselves out for a few minutes of minor inconvenience for the sake of mother nature, then they’re in for a bit of a shock when the baby comes along.

  3. Isn’t gender a social construct? Why can’t one of them simply declare they are a man? As long as they believe themselves to be male, then they are male and so no need of a donor.

    Problem solved.

  4. J

    Any man that’s stupid enough to volunteer should make sure he gets a cast-iron contract so he’s not on the hook for the kid financially.

    Unfortunately the term “cast iron contract” has no meaning any more. An activist judge could very simply rule against it, citing some sort of ‘right’ or other.

  5. I was thinking “doesn’t want to be a dad” might be rather a deal breaker, given what they want the sperm for…

  6. @Prole,

    I understood that to mean that they want the dad to fuck off out of their and the kids’ lives once his duty is done. But that doesn’t exactly differentiate this pair from millions upon millions of nominally heterosexual women.

  7. All the women I know are entirely sane. Nearly all the women who appear in the media are batshit nuts. It’s very odd.

    Check this headcase out:

    http://www.independent.co.uk/voices/why-i-call-my-son-he-against-my-better-judgement-a6710851.html

    It’s a question I’m asked occasionally: “why do you use gendered pronouns for your son?” It’s no surprise, as I move entirely in queer circles, and, am a non-binary person who uses “they” pronouns for myself instead of “he” or “she”. So naturally people wonder why I’m not allowing my son that neutrality.
    I have a large, supportive biological family, who are (as the vast majority of people are) uneducated on trans issues and the nature of pronouns. While the majority of them support my right to parent how I wish, very few of them would respect “non-standard” pronouns – they would revert to using whichever pronoun they think matches his genitalia whenever I’m not in the room, and even when present, they would need constant correction.
    …We met with some resistance when he was younger – I would ask my father to take him for the day, and find he was returned to me in an entirely new outfit, the brightest blue you’ve ever seen. A relative also once refused to dress him in pink in case it “upset” strangers. But that’s the point! I want to upset people.
    …There is no way to do this perfectly. Mistakes are always going to be made, and no matter what, some gender norms seep through. I will always quietly wonder if he’s more boisterous because others allow him the space to be loud; if criticism from a school friend will undo all the work I’ve done and make him ashamed of his own interests; if his preferences will be based on a cultural gender boundary I can’t escape. Time will tell. In the meantime, I’ll do my best to shield him from it, and teach him how to show his best “fuck you” to the boundaries around him.

    There you have it – it’s mostly about ‘correction’, upsetting people and a giant ‘fuck you!’

  8. ^I used to be very sceptical about the ability of ‘the left’ to organise anything much, but the more of this I see the more I wonder if there really isn’t some sort of long term conspiracy, probably unspoken, to fuck up relations between men and women (and within families) so as to make us easier divide and rule.

    I just can’t think of any other reason for this apparent outburst of insanity around the developed world.

  9. “All the women I know are entirely sane.”
    Christ!!!
    i never put you down as a reclusive monk, Interested.

  10. I’m talking strictly in terms of relationships with blokes, Bloke. They like blokes, they want kids, they have them with blokes. Thereafter they call the boys ‘he’ and the girls ‘she’ and give the boys rugby balls and toy soldiers and the girls dolls and ponies.

    I do think this ‘aren’t women all mad’ thing is overplayed, though.

  11. “…and the procedure will be conducted by a doctor.”

    That’s either sperm removal from the vas deferens with needle and syringe or electroejaculation (you guessed it, stick an electrode up your arse, place near prostate and ‘ZAP!’)

    Unless the medic is going to pull the donor off which would seem a bit unethical.

    They have zero chance of getting volunteers when the procedure is explained.

  12. ““All the women I know are entirely sane.”

    “this ‘aren’t women all mad’ thing ”

    There’s a country mile between those two positions.
    Unfortunately, there’s a lot of us sitting in a ditch at the side of that road, rubbing our heads & wondering WTF hit us.

  13. ‘I […use] “they” pronouns for myself instead of “he” or “she”’

    This commentator always get a bit worried about people who refer to themselves in the third person.

  14. You know there’s a part of me which is yearning for radical Islam to take us all over. It has some downsides to be sure, but it’ll soon put an end to all this bollocks. Plus when beards are compulsory for men, there won’t be the need for that utterly nauseating Movember, which we’re all about to be subjected to again (the e-mail went around at work this week).

  15. @Interested – Good point; I read that bit you quoted and just thought ‘what the fucking fuck’?

    I don’t ‘move entirely in queer circles’, (like everyone else in the world including the loon who wrote that bit) but I know a fair few gays and even one or two lesbians. i can’t imagine any of them reading that same excerpt and having any reaction other than mine. It’s just fucking deranged; politics reinvented as mental illness.

    Moreover I have never met anyone who thinks like this. My theory is that, worldwide, there’s about a thousand of them but they are raving online 24/7 (nutters need less sleep)

  16. “I used to be very sceptical about the ability of ‘the left’ to organise anything much, but the more of this I see the more I wonder if there really isn’t some sort of long term conspiracy, probably unspoken, to fuck up relations between men and women (and within families) so as to make us easier divide and rule.”

    Welcome to the woodland bunker Interested. Ayn Rand said sixty years ago that feminism was the branch of Marxism charged with destroying relationships between men and women. Families form around such relationships and families are the hated foundation of boojwar society. Fuck up one and you fuck up the other. I think that the Welfare State has been more effective in undermining said families than the femmis but the skanks are out there pitching.

    Jonathon: The picture that accompanies McCain’s article is awful and inaccurately labelled.

    “Ugly morally vacuous harlot” is the correct title. The cat looks not only pissed-off but much the more intelligent of the two. Imagine having to live with that mad hag.

  17. @BiS ‘Unfortunately, there’s a lot of us sitting in a ditch at the side of that road, rubbing our heads & wondering WTF hit us.’

    Maybe I just see them coming better than you do.

    @Jonathan

    Yes, ta, more than familiar with his work.

  18. @Ecks

    ‘Welcome to the woodland bunker Interested.’

    I won’t be in a bunker old bean. But I must say I’m waiting for an alternative explanation of where this shit is coming from and what it’s all about.

  19. Isn’t it terrible that they will be denying the child the right to know its biological father, a right a court will likely enforce should said child ever wish to know despite any cast iron contracts.
    Also they are discriminating against men who want to be fathers.
    Couldn’t they find a gay male couple and make some arrangement for custody of resulting offspring.

  20. “electroejaculation (you guessed it, stick an electrode up your arse, place near prostate and ‘ZAP!’)”

    This blog teaches something new every day. I’m glad there’s a medical man around.

  21. I certainly don’t think that all women are mad…feminists probably though. Check out Robert Stacy McCain if you haven’t already

    Ah, Ms. Massey. She was featured in a post over at Chateau Heartiste, much to my amusement.

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