Isn’t this a big surprise?

For a wife, there can be few crueller betrayals than your husband sleeping with the nanny – yet it’s all too common.

So, lessee.

You’re struggling with the Mummy weight and the stretch marks. At which point you decide to bring in a younger, fresher and almost certainly tauter woman to live in your house. Hubby is, pretty much by definition here, vastly richer than that lissome bit you’ve got stashed in the spare bedroom.

And everyone acts shocked when wick dipping ensures?

Hire an old and ugly nanny you dingbat.

This has been another production from the Worstall Advice Network, a regular column available for syndication across newspapers worldwide.

17 thoughts on “Isn’t this a big surprise?”

  1. Old and ugly nannies? Is there such a thing? I thought the nanny union vetted all potential nannies to ensure that nannies are all young and nubile sex pots with a thing for rich older men.

  2. Hire an old and ugly nanny you dingbat

    Or… and this may be the crazy pills talking here, but they could maybe, sort of, possibly raise their own bleedin’ children?

  3. Steve,

    “Or… and this may be the crazy pills talking here, but they could maybe, sort of, possibly raise their own bleedin’ children?”

    Are you kidding? That would be a betrayal of everything they are told they should be.

    My wife didn’t go back to work because we ran the numbers on her job and after paying for childcare, her post-tax hourly rate was 50p/hour. I was like “well, do you want to work for 50p/hour”? But we knew people who were in the same boat who went to work.

    And do you know what the high earning working women spend their money on? Themselves. If you want to know who are the fools that buy brand new cars and then trade them in after a few years, it’s working mothers. They have more exotic holidays, they buy more designer handbags. If you see a woman with a £200 handbag, it’ll be a working mother. And instead of staying at home and cooking and cleaning, they then go to work and pay tax to pay for a cleaner and to eat out once a week and buy M&S sandwiches.

    What I mean is that I meet families with working wives, and I don’t sense they actually have any better quality of life as a family than one with a stay-at-home mother. Yeah, we’re both driving old cars, but so what?

  4. For some women the wise thing to do would be to have children before they are 25, and then do the career thing later. For others the gamble might work: waiting until they are about forty and then retiring for some years of mummyhood. Others start spawning at about thirty, and become a burden on their colleagues at work as they play the maternity leave game and other office tricks. I sympathise actually – not at all the propaganda, selfishness, and dimwittedness, but at the dilemmas.

  5. BigFire: While the nanny at Arnold’s (the real Arnold not the idiot who posts on here) was no looker, she was of earthy peasant stock and it may be that the Lad from Graz was trying to get back to his roots. As well as sick of the scrawny, ugly harridan his social climbing had landed him with.

  6. The solution: grannyaupair

    We’ve had au pairs for about 10 years, the last 3 years were grannies. Much better and more reliable than the younger variety (although we had some great girls, in every sense!).

  7. This blog seems unfairly against the man.
    If you don’t want your husband to really stray provide some home entertainment.
    ( Better still become a really good cook – not easy for husband to wander when he has a very full belly – and just wants a nap)

  8. Where my family’s from nannies (as in child-care) were granny or granny’s sisters. My great-grandmother was a war widow and her maiden aunts lived next door and did the nannie thing so that my great-grandmother could earn a living.

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