This is where Ritchie’s tax evasion is

The Government is cracking down on strippers to ensure they pay tax on the money they make in the £5bn adult entertainment industry.
HMRC has launched a taskforce that will also target adult club owners and “entertainers” following a dramatic rise in online escort agencies.

Officials believe those involved in the industry earn thousands of pounds a day and while many pay tax, some do not.
“Large numbers of people working in this industry are paying the tax they owe and they don’t have anything to worry about,” Jim Stevenson, head of HMRC Taskforces, said.

It’s not in the large companies, not evasion. It’s the local neighbourhood tart offering a hand job at £5 to the morning commuter (“Go to work with a smile on your face, Sir?”).

And good luck with collecting that too.

And yes, HMRC has been after this sector for a long time. As at least one reader of this blog will be able to confirm, back in the days of cards in phone boxes there would be a team or two collecting them. In order to make an appointment, have a little chat about where that tax return is luv.

True, according to rumour, you did have to piss off your boss to be assigned to said team but still, the work was done. And I would assume that there’s someone employed to read Punternet these days to achieve the same end. Lovely job, eh?

Actually, come to think of it, there’s a market for the Fair Tax Mark from the Lord of Downham Market. Have to get the fee down to the cost of a handjob of course, but there’s probably a few thousand out there who might be receptive to the idea. And, of course, there’s a triple whammy here. Either sell them the Mark, pick up business as a tax preparer (payment by bank transfer only, nothing in kind thank you very much) or dob them into HMRC for non-payment.

Trebles all round in fact.

16 thoughts on “This is where Ritchie’s tax evasion is”

  1. So Much For Subtlety

    I dimly remember that back in the day, the government could deem you to be in this trade, then make an estimate of your income and tax you on their double assumption.

    I can see someone getting more pleasure out of that idea than he could from any handjob.

    (Back, that is, when disputes with the Tax office were settled in the only civilised way – by a committee of local worthies.)

  2. “make an estimate of your income”, as in “She’s a 9, she owes us fifty grand” ?

    Richest girl I ever knew worked 3 night a week at spearmint rhino in London. To get as rich as her a man would have to work 70 hours a week for 10 years, patriarchy heh.

  3. PS, before the looks ran out or the taxman came calling she made sure she was married to an Australian millionaire, now she just has to readily supply blowjobs and look pretty at breakfast.

  4. It might be a start if we sorted out the line on this: do we accept whoring and brothels and therefore expect them to pay tax as a legitimate business that gets protection, or not?

    The easy solution would be to have licensing and licensed premises and a tax on that. A Laid Value Tax, I suppose.

  5. Yes that what happened the problem being they could only find masseurs not prostitutes

    They also didn’t bother about the fact that there’s a hell of a difference between assessing someone for Tax and actually collecting it

    Anyway HMRC is withdrawing into its 13 ivory towers and pulling up the drawbridge ditching 1000’s of skilled staff and leaving huge areas of the country uncovered

    With rising numbers of self employed, less investigators and lack of presence on the ground Tax evasion will soar

    To add insult to injury since Labour introduced Tax Credit if you understate your income you can claim money from the State so it’s a double loss.

  6. So Much For Subtlety

    magnusw – ““make an estimate of your income”, as in “She’s a 9, she owes us fifty grand” ?”

    Yeah pretty much, I think that is how it worked.

    Didn’t an Australian judge get in trouble when he applied the law as it stood to state pensions – the pretty ones were likely to re-marry so in order to encourage them to do so, they were given less than the mingers?

  7. The prossies should fight back. They will have little trouble spotting HMRC snoops. Then the girls can hit back in their time-honoured acid-splashing, razor-slashing way.

    There was a caper a few years back where the shite who “manage” HMRC were trying to avoid paying any compo for tax collectors who got a bit bashed while hassling people for money.

    It would be a hoot to see them trying the same routine on some chump who has had his dick chopped off “in the line of duty”.

  8. In keeping with my desire to be even- handed I think Murphy has in all fairness mentioned this in a blog before albeit in an attack on ‘cash in hand’ payments in general rather than the adult industry per se – given his puritanical attitude to smoking my guess would be he would criminalise all this activity were he to gain power- thus making the requisite savings on policing the activity (at least in his deluded mind)

  9. So Much For Subtlety

    I think someone should ask Ritchie the obvious question – if I happen to enjoy asking my wife to pole dance, during which I may or may not tuck some £10 quid notes in her g-string, does she have to report that as taxable income? Even if she is actually self-employed? What if we structure it as a limited liability partnership in which we are co-directors?

  10. @ SMFS
    For those of us who have a joint bank account because we trust our spouses, there would be no need to worry about any tax implications.

  11. “And yes, HMRC has been after this sector for a long time. ”

    No doubt. Is it considered a taxable bonus or danger pay?

  12. So Much For Subtlety

    john77 – “For those of us who have a joint bank account because we trust our spouses, there would be no need to worry about any tax implications.”

    Really? If you have a joint bank account, the wife does not need to report her income?

  13. Why is it a criminal offence for some individual to benefit from the immoral earnings of a hooker, but not a treasury?

  14. John77

    Quite a neat rule of thumb. The joint bank account would probably do it here. However, employ your wife as your secretary and pay her salary into a joint bank account and she would still be chargeable. So the rule of thumb isn’t perfect.

    P.S. The guy I know who did actually do these enquiries was a 20 – something who was told it would be “good experience”. Make of that what you will.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *