We’ve all had sex like this, haven’t we?

Why do so many women feel sad after sex? These women claim making love causes them to become emotional and even cry

Not always tears of joy either, eh?

24 thoughts on “We’ve all had sex like this, haven’t we?”

  1. Probably disappointment. If you accept my argument that the female body, in a sexual sense, evolved to test the value of the male and allow females to reject inadequate males, large numbers of females are probably married to unsatisfactory males, hence this.

    Bottom line is a woman should never commit to a relationship unless she feels great after sex and thus looking forward to the same man again.

    Not that many people agree with my argument, mind.

  2. Never mind her. Far too much concern is lavished on women.

    How does she measure up to what the bloke wants? What has she got to offer that wasn’t gifted her by nature?

  3. Steve: Pleasure certainly–but Heaven?

    “Ooh,Ooh,Ooh–now to squirt glue” –A very impoverished paradise if that is all it is. You might as well be an Islamic.

  4. A relationship is a trade. It doesn’t work if both participants feel that got more out of it than if they hadn’t traded. This woman clearly isn’t getting that.

    You can consider a relationship to have three pillars; sexual, platonic, pragmatic. The sexual pillar is lust, the platonic pillar is whether you like each other, the pragmatic is whether s/he is e.g the right social class, faith, financial position, etc. You need all three to work, generally. Though many romance novels are based on overcoming incompatiblity of the Pragmatic pillar.

    Men tend to consider the Sexual first. Part of the problem we have is that women in particular are encouraged to consider the Platonic first, and many even worse focus on the Pragmatic. In fact, everyone under PC is encouraged to consider the Platonic first, but men are better at ignoring the pressure, since we are not expected to be as moral as women, being closer on the Chain Of Being to the beasts.

    “It’s the person inside that counts”.

    Well no, not really. But it results in many women marrying a man she likes, and maybe has the right economic status. And then she becomes sex avoidant because her body wants something better.

    This is what you get when you teach people that sex is simply consequential to “a good relationship”, when in fact it’s a necessary ingredient before you can have a good relationship.

    Ladies: if your intended doesn’t make you think “Sex On A Stick” when you look at him, find someone else who does.

  5. if your intended doesn’t make you think “Sex On A Stick” when you look at him, find someone else who does.

    Mel Brooks is sex on a shtick.*

    * So’s Sean Connery.

  6. IanB: “Ladies: if your intended doesn’t make you think “Sex On A Stick” when you look at him, find someone else who does.”

    If the Chateau Heartiste crowd are right and women have evolved to seek out alpha males then most of them can expect to be crestfallen. A good hardworking but unexciting beta-male is not what they want. And there will never be enough “Leaders of the Pack” to go around.

    Perhaps you should get yourself an advice column Ian. It would be a good way to meet women. Damaged ones but since that is pretty much the only kind there is that is not so bad.

  7. In my view, there is far too much focus on women as seeking men who are social alphas, the “Pragmatic Pillar” (the “Gold-digger Hypothesis”) at the moment. Again the error in my philosophy of seeing sex as simply consequential of other factors.

  8. So it’s all right for women to want men who are very sexually attractive, but an awful thing when men want women who are very sexually attractive?

  9. I think that nowadays they cry because they wonder what the sisterhood will say of their abject capitulation to the Great Oppressor.

  10. If they are able to feel emotions like sadness after the dirty deed, you simply didn’t club them hard enough at the start.

  11. Ian B,

    “This is what you get when you teach people that sex is simply consequential to “a good relationship”, when in fact it’s a necessary ingredient before you can have a good relationship.”

    Sex is the most important thing, because in a relationship, or a marriage, it’s the only thing that you have a monopoly on. My wife doesn’t like opera, but it’s not a big expense and so she doesn’t mind me going to the opera with other people, even hot women. She doesn’t care as long as I’m not either boning or expending family resources on trying to bone those women.

    It’s why things like dating systems and “Mr and Mrs” things are bullshit. The non-monopoly stuff like whether you have a shared interest in motorbikes or impressionist art is far less important than whether you think you’ve done about as well as you can in terms of a person to share fluids with.

  12. “Sex is the most important thing, because in a relationship, or a marriage, it’s the only thing that you have a monopoly on.”

    Except for the polyamorous among us, who don’t bother with that monopoly. Much more fun that way.

    As for post coital tristesse, I thought it was much more common in men than women? I get it quite badly, to the point where I’m sometimes verging on suicidal after orgasm (it passes fairly quickly, luckily).

  13. “If the Chateau Heartiste crowd are right and women have evolved to seek out alpha males then most of them can expect to be crestfallen.”

    Wasn’t it just revealed that some large percentage of the male population did not historically pass on their DNA?

    Found it: http://www.psmag.com/nature-and-technology/17-to-1-reproductive-success

    Once agriculture appeared, and some men became individually richer and more powerful, a woman was 17 times more likely to pass on her DNA than a man was, presumably through polygamy. Having a small bit of of the alpha male is preferable in female terms to having all of the beta (or worse) male.

    Incidentally, kudos to Ian B, thats one of the most insightful comments on the male/female relationship dynamic I’ve ever seen. Explains a lot.

  14. Post coitus omnes animalum tristes est.

    Sorry about my dog latin, only quoting Terence, I think.

    Is this in the races for the oldest “new thing” the DM has discovered?
    Men, of course, solved this problem ages ago. Turn oveer and go to sleep.

  15. Bif

    “post coitum omne animal triste est sive gallus et mulier”

    Galen, not Terence, I believe. And it includes ‘except a cock or a woman’.

  16. So Much For Subtlety

    ‘Sometimes, I feel completely overwhelmed by the moment, not only by my own feelings for Ben, but also by disbelief that he can love me as much as he does.

    FFS. They have found two attention whores who want to do some humblebragging. No reason to draw conclusions about the entire female sex.

  17. We’ve all had sex like this, haven’t we?

    Maybe not the gay men. 😉

    I’m reminded of a gay man I know on another forum, who likes to tell the story of one time some Christian activist started going on about how porn exploits women. He pointed out to her that he was gay and therefore, his preferred porn didn’t exploit women.

    Amazingly, the woman started to spout some explanation about how gay porn does in fact exploit women.

  18. Maybe she considered gay porn sexist and that I deprived women of work (the male gay version that is, no shortage of the female version)

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