Amanduh recommends lesbianism as birth control

Under the circumstances, it seems the simpler, more straightforward public health message would be to encourage women who aren’t actively trying to get pregnant to always have a birth control plan in place, even if you are not having sex right now. (After all, tomorrow is another day, one that might have Mr. Right or at least Mr. Sexy in it.) It doesn’t have to be something as intense as the pill or the IUD. A package of condoms always in your dresser drawer or a commitment to lesbianism works.

I guess it would work too.

25 thoughts on “Amanduh recommends lesbianism as birth control”

  1. So Much For Subtlety

    Because being a lesbian is a choice and not an unchangeable genetically-determined, fixed-at-birth personal identity that cannot be questioned?

    How very interesting.

    However I have to say we do not encourage enough young women to experiment with lesbianism. Perhaps New Orleans’ Mardi Gras could look into this seeing what modern young gels are willing to do for a handful of whampum.

  2. Well, it *is* the logical conclusion of everything Womens Studies scholars have been teaching for the past 40-odd years.

    If you believe, as academic feminists do, that:

    * Heterosexuality is a social construct invented to oppress all women for the benefit of all men

    * It is impossible for a woman to escape the nefarious designs of The Patriarchy unless she rejects its gender roles

    * The personal is political

    Then listening to KD Lang CD’s while eating fish pie can’t be far behind.

    How much of feminism is just a strategy for spiky haired fat women to increase their chances of snogging confused young student lasses? A lot of it.

  3. How much of feminism is just a strategy for spiky haired fat women to increase their chances of snogging confused young student lasses? A lot of it.

    I would have to agree. At an extremely liberal all girls college in the 90s I had a chance to meet plenty of “lesbians”. All it took to “change” them to straight was the appropriate number of beers* and a halfhearted attempt.

    *For those of you that do not have the beer scale a 10 means you have to drink 10 beers to find her attractive. Once she goes over a 12 her prospects are really quite limited.

  4. Temporary homosexuality as birth control?

    As ever, the Victorians were there first with “unspoken rules” at boarding schools.

  5. Matthew – Many a true word spoken in jest.

    LY – You? In an all girls college? At 3am? With your reputation?

  6. Steve It was my reputation that got me invited back. Those were the days.

    Henry I hope you meant skeptic. My mind went to the Animal House ladder scene and is now stuck. If that isn’t the right one then sorry.

  7. *For those of you that do not have the beer scale a 10 means you have to drink 10 beers to find her attractive. Once she goes over a 12 her prospects are really quite limited.

    Safety Notice: LY is using the MLiaC version of the scale calibrated to US beer serving sizes and alcohol (lack of) content. Europeans used to the SA calibration (also known as the Budvar scale in hono_u_r of their trademark case) will note the danger in even approaching a 12-Pinter.

    Note that the “Paper Bag” scale is, while less scientifically reliable, logarithmic in effect therefore remains useable at exceptional levels of (male and female) ugliness.

  8. I think it’s only teh gheys that are born that way. At least according to Feminism (to be fair, some strands, not all), lesbianism is a political choice. As Sheila Jeffries put it, a lesbian is not a woman who fucks women, it’s a woman who does not fuck men.

    Unkind persons might suggest that this kind of lesbian is actually a phallophobic heterosexual, but far be it from me to cast such aspersions.

  9. Bloke in Costa Rica

    Extended Paper Bag Scale (EPBS), in ascending order of awfulness:
    One Bagger: she has to wear a bag over her head before you can shag her
    Two Bagger: you have to wear a bag over your head as well to guard against the unfortunate possibility of her’s bursting
    Crocadillyhorrendapig: Can only be shagged with the light off and while inebriated to the point of recklessness
    One-armer: if you wake up in the morning with your arm round her, you gnaw it off instead of waking her up
    Two-armer: if you wake up in the morning with your arm round her, you gnaw it off instead of waking her up, and then you gnaw the other arm off as well, to stop you doing anything so fucking stupid ever again.

  10. BiCR, you forgot the three-bagger: one for her, one for you in case her’s falls off, and one for your dog so he’ll still respect you in the morning.

  11. “How much of feminism is just a strategy for spiky haired fat women to increase their chances of snogging confused young student lasses?”

    Hmm, an option. Spiky hair is easy, the fat bit…well, yes (a bit), just the ‘woman’ part to pull off.

  12. Jack I highly doubt anyone in England would can what we speak English.

    Yes that is an open invitation to rip on the American language with the same roots as English. Australian’s would be best to watch from the sideline.

  13. So Much For Subtlety

    Dennis the Peasant – “Actually, it looks like she’s had a head-on collision with a Max Factor truck.”

    Jessica Valenti has already written her “I hate it that men don’t fancy me any more” article. Clearly Ms Marcotte is not far behind.

  14. Jessica Valenti has already written her “I hate it that men don’t fancy me any more” article. Clearly Ms Marcotte is not far behind.

    That article was Valenti’s masterpiece… you just can’t be less self-aware than that.

    Amanduh’s always looked like that. It always tickled me that on the one hand she’d be raving about how awful me are and on the other hand slathering on enough makeup to cover RuPaul from head to toe.

  15. So Much For Subtlety

    Dennis the Peasant – “It always tickled me that on the one hand she’d be raving about how awful me are and on the other hand slathering on enough makeup to cover RuPaul from head to toe.”

    Has anyone ever seen them in the same room together?

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