Don’t go near any gas stations Donald

The only time I met Donald Trump told me all I needed to know. It was at an American Red Cross dinner-dance to raise money to fight cancer, held at his opulent Mar-a-Lago Club in Palm Beach a few years ago. It was of course extremely generous of him to lay on the place gratis for the night – there was a synchronized swimming display in the swimming pool, I remember – and the evening did indeed raise over $5 million, but in personally deciding the placement for the dinner he did something so unforgivable that the real man was exposed in all his egotistical vulgarity.

He sat his wife at the same table as a lady – and I must be careful here – who several of his friends present strongly believed to be his mistress. The rest of us at the table were dumbfounded and embarrassed; Trump himself obviously found it amusing as he ruined the evening for both pneumatic and almost identical women. The obscene self-regard of the man was laid bare for us all.

It is something that would not even have been done by the statesman who most closely resembles Donald Trump in history, Benito Mussolini, who at least respected the outward appearances of marriage in his most Catholic of countries. Otherwise, Mussolini – the other master of the ludicrously bombastic speech and the deliberately jutting jaw and the impossible-to-fulfil promises – is clearly Trump’s secret template. And now the Iowa caucus looks like being the first step of the Trumpian equivalent of Mussolini’s infamous March on Rome.

That he’s not a gentleman is obvious. but the idea that a boorish billionaire might have a mistress is not beyond the bounds of possibility, is it?

However, Mussolini is a bit over egging that pudding, don’t you think? Bernie’s rather closer in his economics: you can have everything for free if we just take it off those other guys.

42 thoughts on “Don’t go near any gas stations Donald”

  1. He sits some woman who MIGHT be his mistress at the same table with his missus. And this is “evidence” of what exactly?

    That he is a cad, a bounder?

    As opposed to a vile, corrupt cunt like Killery? A turd like Sanders who openly supports a creed that has murdered 150 million?. Shite like Obama who wipes his arse daily on the US Constitution?

    Or any of the assorted scumsuckers on either side of the no-longer existent political divide?

    Even media morons must be scraping the bottom of the barrel if bollocks like this is the best they can do.

  2. So Much For Subtlety

    Slightly related but mostly off topic – as someone who appreciates a good humblebrag, did anyone else see Selena Scott writing in the Daily Mail about how traumatised she was by the horrid Trump? Apparently he not only fancied her so much he propositioned her, he was so besotten that he continued to pursue her for twenty something years.

    She must have been mortified. At her age. Imagine. A notorious billionaire slash womaniser creeped her out by being obsessed with her.

  3. Effete Tory wet doesn’t like boisterous Yank billionaire shocker.

    Trump probably reminds Roberts of all the bigger, stronger, more confident lads who bullied him at Cranleigh.

  4. I used to have a relative by marriage who regularly took his mistress on his family holidays. He seemed bereft of any ambition to invade Abyssinia.

  5. Trump is right-wing, Mussolini was “right-wing” ((c)Stalin), ergo Trump = Mussolini. Though suprising to see a so-called right-winger making the false link.

  6. This promises something for the levels of mudslinging further on in the race…

    Could the US outdo itself again this election?

  7. This is all rather silly. I don’t like Trump’s policies much, or him much, but comparisons to Mussolini?

    Trump’s just a massive attention whore and has enough money to do it. It’s why all his buildings have the word “Trump” in massive letters all over them.

    And whether consciously or not, he’s mined a seam of disgruntled old voters who are nostalgic for the past, much like UKIP nowadays.

    I seriously doubt he’ll win, but even if he did, he isn’t Mussolini. Not even fucking close.

  8. After Rubio did a 180 turn on immigration, he’s dead to me. I’ll only vote for him if he’s up against Hilary or Sanders. Until then, dead to me.

  9. If Donald does get to be President, I’m sure it will be the cause of much hilarity amongst the staffers at No10.

    “President Fart on the line for you, Prime Minister.”

  10. HC

    I had similar problem once with two clients called Pratt and Mycock. Much hilarity ensued: “If your secretary could take care of Mycock…” “Pratt on the line…” etc.

  11. SMFS – That Mail article is gold.

    Even by the extraordinary standards of Donald Trump, it was a creepy chat-up line.

    We were at 30,000ft on Trump’s private jet flying to Florida, when he showed me his white leather double bed. ‘I like beautiful things,’ he purred seductively. ‘That’s why I like you so much.’

    That would be a creepy chat up line if it was said by a guy in a shell suit driving a battered Transit van.

    A billionaire in a private jet? Nah.

    Trump is a shark. A shark has no yesterday and no tomorrow. Just the next meal, the next victim to be destroyed and consumed.

    Hmmm. Are we sure she rejected his advances?

    When a shark smells blood in the water, it strikes with speed and vicious intent. And so with Trump. Any sign of vulnerability is exploited. He only understands force met with force.

    Women *hate* dominant billionaire bad boys!

    There is little doubt that Trump sees me as his nemesis.

    Yes, dear. I’m sure he thinks of little else.

    Poor Selina.

  12. All the shite raked up about Trump rather than his sketchy and non too encouraging ideas say exactly how much the scum of the left–state and corporate socialism both– fear that he might win.

    Since even if he did it is unlikely that he would take a brutal hammer to the set up–because he has already gained from said set-up–why the storm of abuse?

    It may be that TPTB don’t fear President Trumpo unwinding and undoing them. They may fear that a Trump Presidency might de-rail or at least slow down their plans for unwinding and undoing us.

  13. Given the seeming popularity of Kennedy and Bill Clinton compared to some other presidents establishing he has a reputation for womanising is in his favour surely

  14. Mr Ecks – they hate him because he’s stirring up the nativists.

    If he wasn’t running in this election it’d be yet another contest to see which party rushes to replace the American people faster.

    The Democrats want to invite in Latin America, Asia and Africa because votes and hatred. The Republicans want them because cheap, pliant labour.

    The Donald says America should be governed for the benefit of Americans, so he’s “extreme”.

  15. Donald Trump’s value to the American voter is singular: He is an agent of destruction of the USA’s governing class. To the extent that he hastens the decline and collapse of the Republican and Democratic parties, as well as the mainstream media, he is of use to us and will be supported.

    His policy positions really don’t matter… What matters is he continues to demonstrate that neither party’s infrastructure has a clue as to what a significant portion of the electorate wants and needs.

  16. I’ll certainly bow to Dennis on US politics but I’m sure Trump is an unwitting stalking horse for Hills. Splits the Repub vote, goes it alone, doesn’t matter – he’ll get slaughtered in the media and she only needs a few hundred thousand people to listen and she’s home dry.

  17. Interested – none of the other Republicans are more electable than Trump.

    Jeb – hate, hate, *hated* by the Republican base. Guaranteed loser. A considerably worse candidate than Romney, and that’s saying a lot.

    Cruz – is like an animatronic dummy pretending to be a born-again Evangelical. All the easy breezy charisma of a seeping genital wart.

    Paul – Aspergers nerd.

    Rubio – Closet-case mini-Bush.

    Carson – token black guy.

    The Others – don’t matter.

    Also, the media will be pulling for the Democrats whoever gets nominated. It’s what they do.

    In a “normal” election you’d be right, but these aren’t normal times.

  18. Bloke in Costa Rica

    Steve, Roberts got kicked out of Cranleigh for getting drunk all the time and, unforgivably, getting caught. It took some really special boozing to get shown the door, I can tell you (rusticated was easier).

  19. Interested –

    Trump’s motives don’t matter, nor does the fact that he may or may not act in a way that gets a Democrat elected – which is remarkably doubtful, by the way. What matters is that the chaos in his wake causes as much destruction amongst the parties, their bureaucracies, and their campaign professionals as possible.

    If Hillary Clinton was ever going to be President, she’d be finishing off her 2nd term at this very moment. Remember not so long ago the press was busy anointing her when a nobody of a senator with a funny name decided to get in the race. Nothing – nothing good for her, anyway – has changed since then. She’ll do poorly in the 1st few primaries and then her campaign will collapse. She won’t even need to wait until the FBI decides it wants her indicted.

  20. So Much For Subtlety

    I always wondered what Mussolini’s wife thought. I mean it is a pretty shameful turn of events when your husband is murdered with his tacky mistress.

    At best it is a mixed blessing. On the one hand your husband is killed. On the other that b!tch got what was coming to her.

    On the one hand, the b!tch got what was coming to her. On the other hand no one remembers the wife’s name while some people would recognise that of the mistress.

    I wonder if she regretted it was not her. She seems to have been a little bit of a defender of the Mussolini legacy so I would say she probably did.

  21. So Much For Subtlety

    Steve – “That Mail article is gold. Yes, dear. I’m sure he thinks of little else. Poor Selina.”

    He could have any woman he wanted. He has had dozens of beauty queens. But he has spent two decades obsessed with some Scottish lass who believes in the ghosts of dead pets.

    The decline of Ms Scott has been tragic and precipitous.

    However it is interesting how Trump gets inside people’s heads. She can’t stop thinking about him. The mainstream media seems to be doing much the same. They hate his cheesy lines and yet they fall for them time and time again.

    I look forward to Trump in the White House. I hope he adds an annex for his super-sized jacuzzi and paints the building in gold lamé.

  22. Bloke in Costa Rica – From the looks of him, I’m guessing Sherry.

    Dennis – Damn right.

    The Hillary Clinton: Political Genius meme that the US media have been pushing for yonks (respectfully echoed by the UK media) is even bigger hairy bollocks than the ones poking out of brave-and-beautiful Brucelyn Jenner’s swimming costume.

    She’s not a political genius, she’s just a nasty old cow whose only talent is even more brazenness than your average sociopathic politician.

    She’s not even a high-functioning sociopath: her attempts to mimic basic human emotions are less persuasive than a knife-wielding clown knocking on your door at 3am and asking in a creepy sing-song voice if he can come in to show you something.

    Obama did her up like a kipper, and if Sanders wasn’t such a pussy he’d have given her campaign a mercy killing by now. She’s nearly 70, and in the immortal words of Marsellus Wallace, her arse hasn’t aged like wine.

  23. What matters is that the chaos in his wake causes as much destruction amongst the parties, their bureaucracies, and their campaign professionals as possible.

    I’d much rather see a couple changes to our elections procedures.

    Step 1 is to change the way the House of Representatives is elected. Districts need to be abolished. The candidates that receive the highest number of votes state wide get a seat.

    Step 2 is to have the President elected by majority popular vote. Primaries would be replaced with 2 rounds. The first round is a single national race with any candidate gaining more than 10% moving on. Round 2 would then select the top 3 of the remaining candidates. Round 3 is the potential end. If no candidate gets a majority of registered voters a run off election would be held between the top 2. Timing between rounds should be kept short, say 2 weeks.

    Changing the system to allow easier access won’t fix everything. Voters in many “red” states would still have disproportionate power in the house.

  24. So Much For Subtlety

    I have a simpler reform – reject the 1965 Immigration Reforms, deport everyone who has acquired citizenship since unless they can qualify under the old rules. Go back to being a proper country.

    It may well end up being in Trump’s campaign manifesto.

  25. So Much For Subtlety

    By the way, when Franklin D. Roosevelt died, he was in at his holiday home in Arkansas. With his long time mistress Lucy Mercer Rutherfurd. There are dozens of photos of them together. Including my favourite of FDR and his lesbian-faced wife with Ms Mercer between them in the back seat of a car.

    There is not a lot of evidence Eisenhower was sleeping with Kay Summersby but I would hope so. Photos of the two are not uncommon.

  26. SMFS – The decline of Ms Scott has been tragic and precipitous.

    If, by “precipitous”, you mean “darkly hilarious”, then yes. Yes it is.

    Exhibit A:

    Today Scott lives on a farm in her native Yorkshire, processing mohair into fashion garments.

    She says mohair, I bet it’s cat hair.

    She was a looker in her better years, and I wouldn’t be surprised if Trump had a crack at her, even if only out of politeness.

    But there was always something a bit off about Selina. All women are a little bit mental – it’s part of their feminine charm. She doesn’t seem to have been blessed with the good kind of crazy though.

    So sadly for her, she has no grandchildren to regale with tales of how she was once irresistable to famous American billionaires.

  27. Would that be the mistress, Marla Maples, who Trump went on to marry, right?

    In which case it’s a love story what the telegraph whiner is complaining about is a love story.

    Trump Derangement Sydndrome – and all he is is one of 12 or so Republican candidates for nominee to run for role of POTUS in an open election. Heads will start exploding soon.

  28. “The Hillary Clinton: Political Genius meme that the US media have been pushing for yonks”

    Not the right-wing US media. Not at all.

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