So, why doesn’t someone make this movie?

For his part Hudis fantasised about writing one last script for him, Carry On Shylock Holmes, featuring a Jewish Holmes and Watson, and a final line of dialogue: “Elementary – you schmuck”.

And I’d be very proud indeed of managing to achieve this:

Hudis’s half dozen Carry On scripts were tightly plotted with all loose ends neatly tied up. During editing of Carry On Nurse, his favourite of the six, (Hudis had drawn on his wife Rita’s experiences during her seven years in nursing) the director, Gerald Thomas, decided to pull the famous daffodil-up-the-bottom joke from the middle of the film and use it as a climax, creating a classic Carry On denouement. The critic of the News Chronicle proclaimed the gag one of “unsurpassed vulgarity”.

Managing to create something of unsurpassed vulgarity has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?

19 thoughts on “So, why doesn’t someone make this movie?”

  1. So Much For Subtlety

    Managing to create something of unsurpassed vulgarity has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?

    Not really. Because Little Britain has shown how much it could be surpassed in vulgarity. There was something rather innocent about the Carry On movie’s tastelessness. We have moved beyond that to merely squalid.

    But it is one of the damaging legacies of Mary Whitehouse that no one wants to come close to being tarred with the same brush. So instead of saying how vile British humour has become we pretend we are cool.

  2. Carry On reflects a certain period in British social history. An age of awkward blokes trying to adjust to the new liberalism of the time, trying to get their leg over, slap and tickle, chasing girls, all of which we’re now sending them to prison for 50 years later.

    “Did you or did not you say, ‘Cor!’ in a particularly filthy voice while observing this young woman less than half your age?”


  3. So Much For Subtlety

    I am waiting for Dreadlock Holmes

    “Jah say I and I be Ele … Elephantry …. Elmetry … Ahh pass da bong Mon”

  4. I find “don’t get many of those to the pound!” Meets with very little success these days. Modern dolly birds don’t seem to know what a pound is.

    Henny Crun,
    ding dong.

  5. “The spirit of Mary Whitehouse is alive and well in the Feminist movement”

    It is, but feminists have managed to convince themselves, and others, that their urge to control and censor is ‘liberal’ and ‘progressive’.

    Whitehouse was ghastly, but had an intellectual honesty her successors lack.

  6. So Much For Subtlety

    Bloke in Germany – “your stereotyping is curious given that the original Holmes very much liked his bong.”

    Actually no. The original Holmes liked his hypodermic needle filled with cocaine. Not a bong at all.

  7. dearieme,
    It’ll do until “Hello, I’m Jules and this my friend, Sandy. Oh look! It’s Mr ‘Orne!” Comes on.

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