And workers tended to enjoy being in the office more if they had children at home.

18 thoughts on “Surprise!”

  1. When a colleague of mine had small children he was usually in the office well before 8 in the morning and well after 7 in the evening, and if he wasn’t at his desk, you could usually find him asleep under it.

  2. Yeah, I was going to add what Arthur the Cat did: you can tell the blokes at work with toddlers who need to be got fed and ready for school because they’re in the office at 7:30am, leaving the whole lot for the wife to do. Then they wonder why the divorce papers get served in 10 years.

  3. Having toddlers around is great. You get someone to talk to while you’re having a morning poo.

    And a little friend to press his nose against the glass of the shower partition and bang on it with his surprisingly strong tiny fists, screaming “DADA!” while you try to retain whatever shreds of dignity you think you have left.

  4. Also, if you’ve ever thought “what would happen if someone tried to throw the cat into the fireplace?”

    Then toddlers will satisfy your curiosity. Buy Calpol and Savlon.

  5. But it really gets fun when your little boy cheerfully whips off his nappy and decides to create a brown fingerpaint homage to Jackson Pollock on the kitchen wall.

    They don’t show that one on the Pampers ads.

  6. I have a 4 month old girl and a wife in Philippines about to come out and join me here. I also have the office keys. I hope I don’t find myself finding excuses to spend more time at work but time will tell. I’d like to think I’m better than that.

  7. I’d like to think I’m better than that.

    Bon courage, John!

    I bet you’re only two sleepless nights in a row before you join the ranks of sarcastic, shell-shocked, workaholic Dads.


  8. Try having twins …..

    For the Advanced Level, try having twins playing for different teams at the weekend.

    Because they’re individuals. I keep telling them they’re not, and that the younger is just a spare anyway, but they won’t have it.

  9. Steve, I’m currently in the expat bar at the end of the row of drunken dads. Currently putting it down to making the most of it before the family arrive….

    Am I already in denial?

  10. John, wait until the teenage years. That’s when you discover the power and comfort of prayer and how to fill in a shotgun licence application form.

  11. No matter how sick I feel I will drag myself into work if my wife is home that day (she works shifts) and/or the school holidays mean kids are home.

  12. Then there’s the joys of when one of the little treasures has worms, and the others all want to see and are jealous ( and of course, as parent, you have to inspect both the rectum and the faeces ).

    And you have to re-assure the others that they are bound to get worms sooner or later and they shouldn’t feel left out.

    And toddlers do often seem to like to insert a finger up their bottoms (hoping to find worms?).

    I think its not so much that kids are a nuisance, (though they are) its just that its relentless and never stops, so the workplace can be a break from it.

  13. Has no one mentioned chicken pox parties, or don^t they have them in UK any more? Forget the nippers, the adults are just GROSS.

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