The varieties of English

Reading around the web, as we do these days, we’re rather more exposed to those other variations of English out there. Where words don’t quite mean what we might think they mean. Possibly.

Take this from India:

Bengaluru: Police book Uber driver misbehaving with techie

That the techie was female is interesting but not necessary to the story. In our English English a possible meaning of “misbehaving” would be getting a freebie and consensual legover instead of being paid a fare. Unlikely perhaps, but certainly a possible meaning of the wording.


Bengaluru: Uber has done it again. The cab aggregator is this time in the dock over a lewd driver, who allegedly masturbated at a traffic signal while ferrying a woman passenger from HSR Layout to SG Palya late Tuesday evening at around 8 pm.

Ah, no, they mean the other possible meaning, don’t they?

2 thoughts on “The varieties of English”

  1. Was he in is cab as he masturbated ‘at’ the traffic symbol ?
    This man has gone out of his way to secure a job where he can exercise his peversions (almost priestlike).
    He is obviously highly dangerous, what else was he up to, was he grooming that balisha beacon ?
    ( won’ t someone think of the pelicans ).

    Perhaps he just had sweaty nuts and the passenger has a feverished imagination.

  2. I love reading the Times of India and trying to work out all the local idioms. Very inventive with language, the Indians. There’s a wonderful, genteel correctness about it, as one would expect of a dialect arising from civil servants.

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