Daily Mail’s astonishing discovery

If you don’t fancy yoghurt or porridge, a multiseed and raisin muffin from Cafe Nero doesn’t sound like it would ruin your diet.
Packed with sunflower seeds, pumpkin seeds, linseeds, millet seeds, poppyseeds and raisins, it sounds like a relatively healthy choice for breakfast on the go.
However, it contains a whopping 475 calories and 33.6g of sugar – far higher than a can of cola. It also contains a massive 22g of fat.

Cake has sugar in it.

Astonishing, isn’t it?

21 thoughts on “Daily Mail’s astonishing discovery”

  1. The Meissen Bison

    The astonishing part is that somebody seems to have spilled a box of Trill¹ in the cake mixture
    ____
    1/ “Makesyour budgie bounce with health”

  2. Colour me confused. If I bought the muffin, I’d be hungry. The calories would be the whole fucking point of buying it. What is the problem here?

  3. 475 calories? That’s what, a quarter to a fifth of your daily intake? In your first of three meals of the day? Yeah, shocking.

  4. For fucks sake, the country is obsessing about how many calories are in a fucking cake.

    This country is mentally ill.

  5. So Much For Subtlety

    Sunflower seeds, pumpkin seeds, linseeds, millet seeds, poppyseeds and raisins?

    It sounds like it is designed to pass through your colon at such speed you don’t have time to absorb the sugar.

  6. Cake contains sugar and butter, horrors. Soon they will find out it contains flour as well, which is packed with evil carbohydrates. Soon they will discover the ‘healthy’ nuts and seeds are also full of carbohydrates and oils. And, even worse, beans contain protein, that nasty stuff found in meat. Nothing we eat is safe! We are all going to starve!

    Meanwhile, according to the Lancet, we are all going to be lardbuckets in 10 years time. Given that we know obesity leads to earlier death and at less expense to the NHS than ‘normal’ sized folks, can we cut the medical profession’s budget?

  7. I know the they are in small amounts compared to the cake bit, but it is generally known that many nuts, seeds and raisins have high density calories and some have fat. and you need to be careful, usually not more than a small handful a day.

  8. I think I’ve known that nuts were quite calorie dense ever since I set fire to one over a bunsen burner in a physics lab as a 12 year old.

  9. Since when have sunflower seeds, pumpkin seeds, linseeds, millet seeds, poppyseeds and raisins been “relatively” healthy?

  10. Rob, don’t worry, it’s not the whole country. Most of us don’t even notice this stuff any more.

    People who do worry? Yeah. They’re crackers.

  11. Bloke in Germany in the Netherlands

    It seems to me the Lancet wants to have its cake and eat it, which takes the biscuit, and is clearly a sandwich short of a picnic.

  12. “Can y’all explain to this ‘Merican what a whopping calorie is?”

    A “whopping calorie” is one working class people eat. Calories in delicious French cheese or olives are “mini” calories or “good calories”, as goodthinking middle class folk eat them.

    Not to be confused with “Toxic calories” which are found in fizzy drinks “guzzled” by the mob.

  13. Yogurt and oats contain sugar; more once fruit or sweeteners and milk are added.

    We need to get people to write out 500 times a day:

    “Fructose, sucrose, lactose, glucose, maltose are sugars, consisting of carbon, hydrogen and oxygen and they are short chain carbohydrates which are present in ALL fruit, vegetables and cereals together with longer chain carbohydrates which ALL break down in the body to glucose.

    It does not matter where the sugar comes from: can of cola, muffin, or apple it all ends up the same… glucose in the body.

    It is therefore impossible to ‘avoid’ sugar unless we stop eating, or limit our diets to mostly meat and fish which have very little carbohydrate content.

    We have, of course, been steered away from diets high in meat and fish in favour of the more ‘healthy’ sugar-packed five-a-day and cereals.”

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