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Please insert this cheesegrater and rub vigourously

Preferably sideways:

Restaurants have been accused of fuelling the nation’s obesity crisis by failing to put tap water on tables.

Restaurant owners should “take responsibility” and give families tap water before they ask for it, instead of relying on them to choose it over soft drinks and alcohol, the Local Government Association has said.

Aren’t you happy to be paying tax so that some number of jobsworth’s can monitor whether restaurants are providing tap water or not?

But what really amuses is that over in the US water is (usually) simply provided and poured. And the same sort of jobsworth’s are running around screaming that everyone should have to ask for it first. Because, you know, saving valuable resources.

The point is, of course, nothing about resources, water or weight, but jobs for jobsworths.

14 thoughts on “Please insert this cheesegrater and rub vigourously”

  1. How often are these ‘families’ going out to eat? A soft drink once a week, fortnight or month isn’t going to ‘fuel’ anything.


  2. It’s the mark up from alcohol and soft drinks that subsidises the food on everyone’s plate. I don’t mind carrying one or two of my fellow diners – those that don’t drink wine (or pop). However if this trend caught on I suspect restaurants would be obliged to charge for tap water.

  3. Where I live the water supply is stable thanks to a couple centuries of collective work through both public and private efforts. The net result is that if I don’t have a glass of water on the table I will just order that instead of a pricey option. If I had been born and raised on Arrakis I’m sure I would have different basic expectations.

  4. Even those people who feel uncomfortable asking for tap water should be capable of ordering a Diet Coke. Water is not the only sugar-free drink.

  5. All this sneering at arts graduates and sub-editors (and with the benefits of private- sector educational conditioning) yet you lay a big turd of a spelling mistake in the headline.

  6. Muphry’s law strikes again, my good Reed. Muphry’s law.

    “private- sector”, with the unwanted space after the hyphen, in case you didn’t work it out.

  7. Does tap water have alcohol in it? No. So why the fuck would I want it on my restaurant table…?


  8. “The hyphen itself is highly questionable”: question away if you like. My view is that it makes the sentence slightly more readable. Contrast with much American writing, where the under-hyphening leads to haphazard-looking pile-ups of adjectives and nouns that make sentences far harder to read.

  9. That’s why I said highly questionable. Or highly-questionable, if you prefer. When I was on the brink of calling it out for being completely wrong. I’m well(-)aware of toxic American prescriptivism and the risk it’s infected me. I have to write for them about half (of) the time. And as I can’t stand American-style which [sic] hunts, and am aware of my own imperfections, I’m intentionally non(-)committal when invoking Muphry’s law.

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