No, it wasn’t

i seem to recall that it was said of President Gerald Ford that he could not walk and chew gum at the same time.

What was actually said was that he couldn’t fart and chew gum at the same time.

But I am at present working like fury on my next book, which involves some significant new ideas on tax havens. I have only six weeks to write it

That means they’ll be well thought out then, dreamed up, examined, critiqued, altered and reconsidered all in 6 weeks?

24 thoughts on “No, it wasn’t”

  1. In order to fart, you have to raise intrabdominal pressure by closing the glottis (Valsalva manoeuvre) which will automatically cease chewing during expulsion (a protective reflex against choking). Of course depending on the toxicity of the fart your neighbours may end up choking.

  2. Its not like he examines, critiques, alters, or reconsiders anything else.

    It’ll probably be of the same level of scholarship as Rushkoff’s ‘Throwing Rocks At The Google Bus’ and make Picketty’s work seem good.

  3. The Meissen Bison

    well thought out […], examined, critiqued, altered and reconsidered

    …entirely unachievable whatever the timescale.

  4. I have only six weeks to write it

    Dostoevsky, in order to fulfill a contract, dictated The Gambler in one month. He then married the stenographer to whom he dictated the novel.

  5. The Meissen Bison

    I think there are some people who could do it – maybe someone who has passed GCSE economics?

    I have been reading such tomes as ‘If I were a monkey’ and ‘Postman Bear’ to my children and I think they are likely to be of considerably more merit, even in addressing offshore taxation than this third piece of the trilogy of Murphy magnum opuses…..

  6. Van_Patten said:
    “I have been reading such tomes as ‘If I were a monkey’ and ‘Postman Bear’ to my children and I think they are likely to be of considerably more merit, even in addressing offshore taxation”

    May I recommend “Postman Pat and the Greendale Bus” as an introduction to economics? The bus service is cancelled, but instead of bleating to the local council the villagers go to the bank, borrow money, buy a second-hand bus and run it as a profitable venture.

  7. @Richard

    It’s appalling, those manipulative capitalist running dogs. Going for the kids with neo-liberal recipes and innovative solutions! Brainwashers!

  8. So Much For Subtlety

    Ted S. – “Dostoevsky, in order to fulfill a contract, dictated The Gambler in one month. He then married the stenographer to whom he dictated the novel.”

    Presumably to pay off his gambling debts. Tolstoy began writing War and Peace the year he married – 1862. He published it in 1869. I wonder if we could persuade Ritchie that he is the Tolstoy of our time?

  9. The Pedant-General

    “Tolstoy began writing War and Peace the year he married – 1862”

    IIRC, he dictated it to his wife too. And made her write the manuscript out, by hand, 6 times or so for … reasons …

  10. So Much For Subtlety

    The Pedant-General – “IIRC, he dictated it to his wife too. And made her write the manuscript out, by hand, 6 times or so for … reasons …”

    Did he put her over his knee if she made a mistake?

    What happened to Russian women? Or perhaps it is not that they used to be like that and now they are not. It is just that if you are A Great Writer, they are willing to lie down and let you walk all over them. If you’re not, God help you.

  11. One should not overlook the considerable and invaluable work that Mrs Murphy is alleged by Murphy himself to contribute to all of his scribblings.

    Clearly when a book about economics and taxation is being written by an author who has only a tenuous knowledge of either topic, it is a major advantage to have the manuscript edited by a person who is, em, a doctor of medicine.

    For this herculean task she is appropriately compensated with an, em, 1% share of profits as a member of the LLP through which the profits are booked. That valuable medical expertise of hers and the LLP structure is, it should be stressed, in not abusive or artificial in any way.

  12. The Meissen Bison

    Van_Patten: apologies: I meant that even if Murphy had 100 years he wouldn’t manage it.

  13. Actually, the Richard Murphy book I’m waiting for is the one where he explains why he’s chosen to devote his time and energy to combating tax evasion by large corporations at a time when the HMRC estimates such evasion comprises only about 1.6bn of the so-called “tax gap” of 34bn.

    Personally,I’d love to for him to explain and justify his rationale for ignoring tax evasion related to VAT (13.1bn), Self Assessment (4.6bn) and PAYE (3.9bn) while campaigning for “tax justice”.

  14. I wonder if the voices will speak to him soon enough.

    You’re taking him at his word that he’s going to have some “significant new ideas”. I’ll bet cash money it’s going to be the same old shit… And for that the old voices in his head will do him just fine.

  15. “Martin Davies
    May 17, 2016 at 2:29 pm

    Why does he have 6 weeks to write it when others get multiple months, years even.”

    Cancer?

    Poor taste, I know.

  16. Bloke in Costa Rica

    Ah yes, the dim and clumsy Gerald Ford. Degree in economics from the University of Michigan, J.D. from Yale Law School (a doctoral qualification), athlete of almost godlike prowess. And then there’s Murphy. He’s not fit to wring out Gerald Ford’s knob-wipe.

  17. I assume the 6 weeks deadline is because he’s trying to milk his 15 minutes of fame as much as he can before it runs out

  18. BiCR – The family of the late Gerald Ford ought to pursue legal action against him for defamation – I suppose in his mind he is the equivalent of the President of the United States….

  19. It wasn’t Ford at all (according to the Murphoon) but LBJ…he hasn’t a fucking scooby about anything. A blagger, blowhard and fraud.

  20. I, was “fart and chew gum,” said by LBJ. And Ford was easily the most athletically experienced of all U.S. presidents, playing football on nationally-prominent college teams (well enough to get several offers from professional teams) as well as track and basketball. Also made a hole-in-one in a golf tournament.

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