Hmm

It’s not seemly. It’s not dignified. And who gives a damn? Three cheers to Diane Keaton for coming out as “sexually frustrated’’ at 70. Her past lovers have included Warren Beatty, Woody Allen and Al Pacino, but now, in conversation on US TV with Ellen DeGeneres, she has admitted that she’s single and on the lookout for a lover.

My word, formerly stunningly good looking woman now post menopausal finds that lovers are a little thin on the ground.

Bit of a surprise, isn’t it?

37 thoughts on “Hmm”

  1. Her past lovers have included Warren Beatty, Woody Allen and Al Pacino…

    That’s the problem right there. All women get old, but the smart ones do so having locked in a partner.

  2. I’m sure there are plenty of old folks who would like to be leading the England football team or stepping up to the podium at the Olympics and elsewhere ( not the fogies events–Masters they call them–mockingly).

    But they can’t–cos time has passed them by.

    Keaton was never that good a looker and time has passed her by anyway.

    She does not enhance her dignity whining on TV.

  3. Bullshit. There’s plenty of guys who would do her. Plenty of men out there that are looking for a shag who would say “yeah, why not?”.

  4. Anon: Yes, but 90% of those guys would be bloody awful in bed. That’s what women really mean when they say they can’t find anyone to fuck, it’s that they can’t find anyone who knows how to give them a good time.

  5. Yeah Anon. She’s not finding the going hard because she’s got old. More because her expectations haven’t adjusted to match. I’m not saying she should lie down for any old toothless loser, but I’m sure she’s got options.

  6. Nah, Matthew L, it’s got nothing to do with prowess. More that the rich, influential men she was used can and do get younger women.

  7. Matthew L,

    No, it means all the stuff about being with men that aren’t penis related, like whether you’re a good earner, funny, have high social status etc.

  8. Ultimately, women are driven by hypergamy to try and acquire a mate who is at least equal in her eyes (socially and financially), the problem being that all the male Hollywood has-been can attract much younger, fitter pre-menopausal women should they wish to.

    Why on earth would they want a wrinkly old nag like Diane Keaton? She brings literally nothing to the table that an equivalent male Hollywood star doesn’t already have access to.

  9. Maybe she doesn’t know the saying: The similarity between women and dog turds? The older they are the easier it is to pick them up.

  10. So Much For Subtlety

    Matthew L – “That’s what women really mean when they say they can’t find anyone to fuck, it’s that they can’t find anyone who knows how to give them a good time.”

    No it isn’t. It is a school boy fantasy to think there is some sequence of buttons you need to press that will work. It doesn’t work that way. Women have sex in their heads. Where they start determined where they finish.

    If their boring accountant husband comes home, has dinner, then a shower, brushes his teeth exactly 120 times, and then does everything every sex manual ever suggested was a good idea, she still won’t care. The more he tries, the more contempt she will have.

    If, on the other hand, he is just out of prison for some homicide charge, and he roars up on his motorcycle, kicks the door in, and has her twice over the kitchen table before taking his boots off, she will probably be done before he has got his zip open.

    What Ms Keaton wants is a fantasy that Fabio would star in if he had a billion dollars and an advanced degree. She is not going to get that at her age. She should have locked in a sucker when she was younger.

  11. Tangentially enough there’s a seventy year old (probably former) actress called linda Kelsey who wiki says married a carpenter in 1979 who then became a computer programmer. Maybe that’s the answer: good with his hands but uses his bonce too.

  12. @SMFS: We bow to you clearly superior experience. Either that or you have been watching too many pornos.

    Come to think of it, most of the accountants I know are divorced.

  13. Bloke no Longer in Austria

    I’m reminded of that excellent Harry Enfield sketch where The Three Scousers are on Blind Date and one of them goes up to Cilla.

    “Eh, Cilla,d’ya fancy a shag ? Yer no oil painting, like, but it’d be summat to tell me mates.”

  14. And what DK finds out at 70, an awful lot of modern career women are going to find out at 40.

    That careers pale into insignificance compared to companionship and kids…

  15. And what DK finds out at 70, an awful lot of modern career women are going to find out at 40.

    From what I hear – and trust me that I hear a lot – it becomes a struggle from about 32 onwards, but it takes a few years for the penny to drop. For all the talk about men liking to shag around and play the field, *every* bloke I know settled down with somebody by their mid 30s, most by late 20s. Most guys in their mid 30s who are single are either players or guys no woman wants, and the very few who are looking for somebody (because they have just come out of a relationship, for example) are going to be aiming at women in their late 20s. The phrase I heard which summed it up best is: “You can find a guy in his 30s who is good looking, smart, and single: pick any two”. By the time women are 40, the best they can do is find somebody from the divorcee market (which isn’t bad in itself, but it usually comes with baggage requiring a compromise: and women who are single at 40 are usually in such a situation because they refuse to compromise).

  16. I’m fascinated, sometimes, to know from where SMfS receives his “world picture”. But most of the time, I’d rather not.

  17. Given the Wishlist us blokes have to comply with to be even considered a potential candidate for even a loose romp between the sheets, it’s not surprising most women can’t find any: That kind of guy does not exist.

    Add to that the fact that by age 25 your average intelligent bloke will have run into several instances of this Wishlist and will have gone smart, raised the middle finger, and runs like hell when he sees one, it’s not surprising at all, again, those women can’t get any: They’ve already conditioned anyone potentially suitable ( with a couple of compromises here and there) to avoid them like the plague over the past decades.

    They are, in fact, reaping the fruits of their labour.

  18. Given the Wishlist us blokes have to comply with to be even considered a potential candidate for even a loose romp between the sheets, it’s not surprising most women can’t find any: That kind of guy does not exist.

    Chateau Heartiste is always going on about the women with their 375 bullet-point checklist.

    hey’ve already conditioned anyone potentially suitable ( with a couple of compromises here and there) to avoid them like the plague over the past decades.

    Yup. As has been pointed out on here before, most women in their 30s are single because their egos won’t allow them to compromise on anything.

  19. Women have a problem, because in evolutionary terms they are looking for two diametrically opposed men. Firstly an alpha male, of the 50 shades variety, or SMFS’s biker dude, to provide the DNA for her child, then someone who is stable and committed (the accountant) in order to provide the resources to allow that child grow up and achieve adulthood (thus passing on her DNA another generation).

    The former is what gets her sexually aroused, but the latter is what she knows she needs around afterwards. Thus as women have become more free to choose their sexual and marriage partners, and free to leave ones they are unsatisfied with, they have become increasingly frustrated and unhappy, because they don’t realise they cannot get what they want from one person, and relationships with either of the two polar opposites are likely to be unsatisfying (for very different reasons), and doomed to fail.

  20. What a lot of psychological experts are on TW today!

    Perhaps the reason why she confides in de Generis rather than, say, Tinder, is that’s there’s a movie that needs promoting. At a guess, one about older women and their relationships…

  21. Mr. X: She prolly doesn’t think of it as “whining”–more like an opportunity for “free advertising.”

    Anon: Yeah–I’m one. Problem is, though,–I’m booked up.

    Ltw: actually, “toothless” has its certain advantages!

  22. Women have a problem, because in evolutionary terms they are looking for two diametrically opposed men.

    Which is why they tend to compromise on men who lie somewhere in the middle of the spectrum. Fortunately, this includes most men.

  23. Hey guys, if the average woman marries a man three years ol;der than her, by the time she’s 70 he’s 73 and, on average. not quite as active in bed as he was 50 years earlier.
    But that’s not good enough for Diane Keaton. She wants a male “living doll”.
    I am not applying for the job – I wouldn’t have thought for a second about swapping my wife for her when she was young and good-looking, let alone now.

  24. “Which is why they tend to compromise on men who lie somewhere in the middle of the spectrum. Fortunately, this includes most men.”

    Yes, but compromise means neither requirement gets satisfied fully. And in todays easy come easy go dating/marriage environment that makes for a lot of unhappy women as they bounce from one extreme to the other. Before easy divorce a woman picked her compromise candidate and got on with it, there was no alternative. Now there’s a smorgasbord of (apparently) better choices and its very easy to go and sample them.

    Sexual emancipation has done nothing for overall female happiness.

  25. This thread will be a treasure trove of blog mining for the nextgen fems.
    Each comment seemingly reasonable, selectively quoted later will appear real loonytunes.

  26. “This thread will be a treasure trove of blog mining for the nextgen fems.”

    Why bother when they can make stuff up instead?

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