Questions in The Guardian we can answer

Climate change has claimed its first mammal species. Is the hedgehog next?

No.

Or for a longer answer, fuck no:

A hedgehog is any of the spiny mammals of the subfamily Erinaceinae, in the order Eulipotyphla. There are seventeen species of hedgehog in five genera, found through parts of Europe, Asia, and Africa, and in New Zealand by introduction.

A species distributed across three and a half continents is not threatened by any climactic or other change in the same manner a rat living on a 5 hectare island is.

You fucking idiot.

11 thoughts on “Questions in The Guardian we can answer”

  1. The dog we had when I was in high school had a grudge against hedgehogs. She used to dig a trench and then try to herd the poor thing into it by barking at it. Then she’d bury it alive. Dad used to go out and rescue them when the barking woke him up – usually after she’d dug up half his vegetable garden. It looked like a scale model of the Somme.

    Mum found a couple of hedgehog graves when she remodelled her rockery too.

  2. Species come, species go. The Greens are ultra-conservatives – they want the whole of Nature preserved in aspic. Nothing new, nothing lost.

  3. Badgers, decking and garden fences will have long killed all the UK hedgehogs before climate change gets a look in.

  4. An interesting if hypothetical question – what if the construction of a wind farm or a tidal generator happened to wipe out a very localised species? Would the Guardian cynically blame it on “Climate Change”, or would they shrug and say onwards, comrades?

  5. So Much For Subtlety

    They can’t get rid of the little buggers from South Uist. The idea they will suddenly be thrown in the dustbin of history because of some minor warming is insane.

  6. The last verified sighting of the critter was in 2004. The Guardian waited a long time for the wake.

  7. I’m more concerned for the species that has effectively been made extinct, as far as the Graun is concerned.

    The heterosexual white male.

  8. Bloke no Longer in Austria

    MatthewL
    That really made me laugh. We had a dog that would pick them up in his mouth, bring one in from the garden and roll the poor blighter around the kitchen.

    Steve Crook also urban foxes.

    Basially Hedgehogs have it so tough, it’s a wonder that they’ve survived this far.
    Also can someone tell me where all the sparrows have suddenly come from ? After years of seeing hardly any, they are everywhere in multitudes ?

  9. > Also can someone tell me where all the sparrows have suddenly come from ?

    Yes, there are a lot mere here. Very welcome too.

    I wonder if the population had crashed to a point where they fell below the number the habitat can support.

    Still, they’re suffering the same issues, hedges grubbed up for fencing, decking, front gardens converted to parking and overwhelming numbers of moggies.

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