What Jacob’s accused of

For example, on several occasions in professional situations, he told other people that I was good at a particular sex act.

Not a gentleman then.

29 thoughts on “What Jacob’s accused of”

  1. “Jacob ignored my use of a safeword”…”violated boundaries I had set as though they were a game”… sounds like one clueless as to how people and relationships actually work, and is astonished when the world doesn’t conform to her own notions.
    Fruitcake, in other words.

  2. So Much For Subtlety

    Not a gentleman. Childish in fact. But what has he done that deserves destroying his career?

    Jacob and I were involved on and off over the course of 2006 and 2007, mainly spending time together at security conferences. During that time, I was also seeing other people, with the consent and awareness of all involved.

    Interesting things, these IT security conferences.

    In that time we spent together, he violated boundaries I set as though they were a game, particularly at times when I was intoxicated. There were a number of times I felt afraid and violated during interactions with Jacob. Being involved with him was a steady stream of humiliations small and large as he mistreated me in front of others and over-shared about our intimate interactions with friends who were often also professional colleagues.

    So he made her feel bad? The horror.

    For example, on several occasions in professional situations, he told other people that I was good at a particular sex act.

    As far as I know that is not a crime. It is also a side effect of sleeping with people. Gentlemen don’t share details of course but let’s suppose the stiletto was on the other foot and she told her girlfriends that he was really bad at a particular sexual act. Would anyone give a sh!t?

    On another occasion where my primary romantic partner at the time, Paul Wouters, was also present,

    What. The. F*ck?

    Jacob ignored my use of a safeword when his sexual behavior turned into violent behavior that violated my limits. Paul and I both had to repeatedly tell Jacob to stop, and the experience was profoundly upsetting.

    These days this probably amounts to a crime. However given he was outnumbered by the girl and her Significant Other, it couldn’t have been too bad. We would need to know if he could hear her through his gimp mask or whatever. This is a story that needs more context.

    Still, the lesson we can all take home is that if you go in for wife swapping or whatever, not everyone you meet is likely to be a nice middle class boy. Who would have guessed?

    I believe that one of the common elements of Jacob’s abusive behavior is humiliating one or another member of a couple in front of the other – as other accounts of his actions are published, that is something worth watching out for.

    Not a crime. If you don’t like it, don’t sleep with a low life.

    As crimes calling out to Heaven for vengeance, I would say that this is fairly mild. The comments on that blog post are pretty disgusting. We have collectively lost our minds.

  3. The thread above this was shite from the eco-freak division of socialist scum, now we hear from the femmi slime.

    Female–supposedly into 3-scums and masochism–or does she need a “safeword” during ordinary conversation– encounters (along with the weakmale she styles as her “main partner”) a character who does not follow her “how to shag dicklessly” rulebook.

    Oh No!

    And now this bullshit screw and tell–which as SMFS says happens all the time with females doing the telling, the blog post itself being an example –is a manifestation of supposed sex crime.

    Purge the Unis and the 3rd sector scum of every penny paid to wimmins groups, leftist Uni-femm pros–to every single instrument of socialist deceit and oppression now funded by the taxpayer–esp the BBC.

    Shut and defund the lot.

    As for this female creature–I don’t she is getting much sympathy outside the ranks of leftist vermin. However there are far to many of them. Time to start by smashing their cosy taxpayer-funded lifestyle.

  4. Chertiozhnik : So if a girl was in bed with you and rolled you over and shoved a strap-on up your arse, that’d be just peachy? And you’d be a fruitcake for complaining? Good to know your boundaries are so flexible!

  5. So Much For Subtlety

    Matthew L – “So if a girl was in bed with you and rolled you over and shoved a strap-on up your arse, that’d be just peachy?”

    I think what most people would take away from this story is that being with a girl who knows whether you would or would not like having a strap on shoved up your ar$e is a much better idea than working out a system of safe words beforehand.

    If you get into bed with strange people you are likely to be surprised no matter what you like.

    Notice she gives no details. So it sounds like a crime. It may well be a crime. But we need more details.

  6. Julia M: Can only start from where you are not where you would like to be,

    Purging would only be one measure out of many.

    But it would stop the mechanism by which more leftist shite is generated and serve notice on the cunts that they are now to be “de-normalised”.

  7. So Much For Subtlety

    JuliaM – “They are right through our institutions and aren’t even restricting their punishments to those who are proven criminals now”

    On the other hand the Church of England apologised for their refusal to take Margaret Thatcher’s moral vision seriously recently. I assume they don’t mean it but it may be a sign.

  8. So another case of a couple in an open relationship and one accuses the other of “breaking the rules”. I heard this from a woman in Paris recently, got married while in an open relationship – everybody appeared to be shagging everybody within a small circle of friends – and said the only reason her marriage went belly-up pretty much from the get-go was her husband was an asshole and broke the rules. When I suggested that maybe this whole open relationship thing might not be so good for a steady relationship and marriage, she went apeshit. Seems some women want to discard normal rules of a relationship, impose some different ones, and get upset when they’re not followed.

  9. Still, the lesson we can all take home is that if you go in for wife swapping or whatever, not everyone you meet is likely to be a nice middle class boy. Who would have guessed?

    Yes, I did venture this theory to the woman in Paris too. I suggested that being 21 and going to orgies and entering into polyamorous relationships with middle aged men might put you in touch with some real assholes, and she rejected it out of hand on the grounds that:

    1. You meet assholes everywhere and
    2. Her other men were “lovely”

    Interestingly, I was able to speak to her ex husband about it all. He said she was a bitter, angry woman back then who was incapable of taking responsibility for the consequences of her own decisions, and would dump the blame on the easiest target there was. I don’t think much had changed. And yes, she was a feminist.

  10. Tim Newman: “…<b.a bitter, angry woman back then who was incapable of taking responsibility for the consequences of her own decisions, and would dump the blame on the easiest target there was. I don’t think much had changed. And yes, she was a feminist.”

    Well, yes. You already said that. 😀

  11. The line between attractive and creepy is subjective. It this guy was a pro American Football star he could get away with saying anything and girls would lap it up (“I love it when he talks dirty to me!”). It sounds like they discovered that he’s not as rich as they had expected (open source software doesn’t pay), and he went from quarterback to hunchback in a flash.

    Speaking of North American creeps we’ve never heard of, what’s Timmy’s view on Jian Ghomeshi?

  12. Not knowing any of the players in this or any background I can only say, what the blue rubbery fuck!?

    I have no idea whether the accusations against this man are true. I have no interest in defending people who are abusive in relationships.

    But but but… She says he did unspecified nasty sexual stuff to her on a number of occasions. But she still went back for more.

    He did unspecified nasty sexual stuff to her when in bed with her and her ‘primary’ boyfriend/partner/fuck buddy. Did said primary not have anything to say? And did she or both of them screw around with Applebaum again?

    I notice from Applebaum’s wikipedia page that he had a pretty fucked up childhood and I would suspect that this woman and her primary, secondary and tertiaries are the same.

    Fucked up people fucking each other and fucking each other over and expecting the world not to judge, in fact expecting the world to cheer their behaviour.

    SMFS’s last sentence sums it up for me.

  13. Fucked up people fucking each other and fucking each other over and expecting the world not to judge, in fact expecting the world to cheer their behaviour.

    Yeah, that last bit. I don’t give a fuck what these people do in their bedrooms, but as soon as they get remotely close to you they start dropping bombshells and expecting validation…and when they don’t get it, they start calling you “judgemental” and “close minded” and using phrases like “I don’t need to justify myself to you”.

  14. MC: “Fucked up people fucking each other and fucking each other over and expecting the world not to judge, in fact expecting the world to cheer their behaviour.”

    /applause.

    I’d get that printed on a T-shirt if it wasn’t for the fact I’d probably get arrested.

  15. “I heard this from a woman in Paris recently, got married while in an open relationship – everybody appeared to be shagging everybody within a small circle of friends.”

    It’s a happy “open relationship” right up to the point where she sues you for divorce and takes your house.

  16. Rob,

    Not in her case: she merely got herself a US green card, divorced him after 2 years, and left him with a tax bill he’s still paying off. Fortunately for him, he didn’t have any assets.

  17. The Inimitable Steve

    Tim Newman – why, it’s almost as if those time-tested Judeo-Christian family values existed for a reason.

  18. he went from quarterback to hunchback in a flash

    That’s very scoliocist of you. I am triggered and have just clambered up to my safe space in the belltower.

  19. “Purge the Unis and the 3rd sector scum of every penny paid to wimmins groups, leftist Uni-femm pros–to every single instrument of socialist deceit and oppression now funded by the taxpayer–esp the BBC.”

    Problem is Ecksy, the only people who have the power to do this are the very people you’re complaining about.

    It’s like you’re in one of those films where the hero rushes to the police to tell them of the terrible plot they have just uncovered, not realizing that the police are a part of it.

  20. “That’s very scoliocist of you. I am triggered and have just clambered up to my safe space in the belltower.”

    Don’t get the hump, he was only joking.

  21. Tim Newman – why, it’s almost as if those time-tested Judeo-Christian family values existed for a reason.

    Apparently not. Radical feminists and new wave hippies apparently know better.

  22. “Many of our friends and colleagues saw the way he treated me and did nothing about it, so it took me years before I realized how abusive he was to me. Until that realization, I remained “friends” with him.”

    Well actually you and your, er, partner remained fuck buddies with him. But that’s somewhat besides the point.

    The point is happy healthy people would have looked at a situation in which one of their sexual partners was being very indiscreet in front to their other sexual partners and many others besides and thought “Oh, something isn’t right about this, about all of it”. You need help but instead you have become a commentator and believe you are in a position to set standards for others.

    Truly fucked up.

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